Michelle, the Bookshelf Stalker’s Reviews > Shadow Hills > Status Update

LOL. Just pruned my YA shelf. More like hacked it, really, LOL.

new_user wrote: "LOL. Just pruned my YA shelf. More like hacked it, really, LOL."

I need to hack mine as well. I have SO many YA books that I've never read and need to!

Yeah, I just realized that a lot of them I probably won't read and don't really want to... especially since YA is not one of my fave genres. So I don't really feel compelled...

I realized that I add a lot of YA just because I like their covers - even if I never plan to read the book.

new_user wrote: "Yeah, I just realized that a lot of them I probably won't read and don't really want to... especially since YA is not one of my fave genres. So I don't really feel compelled..."

I find myself hating the cheesy romance angle- one girl, two boys, one bad, one good, girl goes for bad!
Also, there is hardly any sex in the YA books. COME ON! We are talking young adult NOT middle school. How many young adults (especially males) are in their late teens, early 20's not having sex? And if they aren't having sex, how many are not at least thinking about it? I know it isn't politically correct to encourage sex in a YA book but it just makes the book entirely too unrealistic for me.

Nisha wrote: "I realized that I add a lot of YA just because I like their covers - even if I never plan to read the book."

I'm a cover whore! I'll go for a book just because of the cover, I'm shamed into admitting it.

Michelle wrote: "Nisha wrote: "I realized that I add a lot of YA just because I like their covers - even if I never plan to read the book."

I'm a cover whore! I'll go for a book just because of the cover, I'm sh..."

Don't be ashamed. I'm sure everyone has judged a book by its cover.

And the cheesy one girl with 2 love interests plot... I hate love triangles. There's always someone who loses. Plus, we never get a chance to really like either of the guys. But, I prefer less to no sex in YA, unless they're both at least 17.

Nisha wrote: "And the cheesy one girl with 2 love interests plot... I hate love triangles. There's always someone who loses. Plus, we never get a chance to really like either of the guys. But, I prefer less to no sex in YA, unless they're both at least 17.
..."

See, I can understand the "no sex" desire for the under 17. I'm not saying there needs to be sex in the book because I want to get off on it, just the opposite. Sex between characters under 18 makes me cringe because it makes me think of my 15 year old and in my mind, she is still my baby.

However, I don't think it is realistic for some of these YA books to have a "romance" without there being at least either sex, lots of heavy petting or at least the desire for one character to want to have sex.

My 15 year old has to give me open access to her facebook account (ok people, please don't go there on how I'm violating her privacy- it is a condition for her to have facebook- she's always next to me when I look). I CANNOT believe what other teens talk about (including my daughter), how often the teens are having sex, and how they are deceiving their parents to get away with it. I think it is so unrealistic for these YA books to make all these romance situations seem so innocent when in reality, it is far from it.

Wow, ok, I so went on a rambling rampage there. It is funny because my daughter is open to me about sex that sometimes I cringe when she tells me stuff. However, I wouldn't change a thing.

I agree with you, Michelle. I think authors make teenagers seem a lot more innocent than they actually are. I know that I had sex waaaaaaaay earlier than 18.

I was pretty innocent in high school, but its not like I didn't know about sex or anything. More like, ya books were pretty accurate in my experience. And I'm only 23, btw.

I feel like some of the ya books are more...sexual than I remembered high school. There's much more sleeping around and hard partying. Those YA are more descriptive of my college experience than high school.

I'm 24, soon to be 25. :) Maybe it's just different areas? There were lots of drugs, smoking, sex and parties in my school. And gangs. Lots of gangs. It actually started in middle school, not high school, for me.

Catherine wrote: "I'm 24, soon to be 25. :) Maybe it's just different areas? There were lots of drugs, smoking, sex and parties in my school. And gangs. Lots of gangs. It actually started in middle school, not ..."

When I was in high school, the YA books I read had sex in them and were pretty frank in the sex acts AND the consequences. I just think the YA books lately show such a fairy tale setting or they are hardcore and very sexual (like Nisha said). There seems to be no middle point.

It's like the author is unwilling to tackle the issue without making it into a full blown character attack. If the character is going to have sex, she must be a whore, slut, losing her morals, and then she goes around having a ton of sex, she usually does nothing but party and take lots of dangerous risks, and so on. Or there is no sex, and the girl is a fricking saint.

There isn't many books where the teen has sex and happens to be a good girl not doing drugs, whoring herself, and maybe, gasp, she even has good grades. Even as I type this, I can hear the argument- if you show a "good girl" having sex without having bad things happen to her, it is promoting sex.

I really have no clue what I'm trying to say other than the books seem so unrealistic. It's one extreme or the other. Off to the news to watch more about this earthquake.

I remember a lot of the books I read being frank about sex as well. I even remember it being brought up in Christopher Pike. Loved him!

That's true, Michelle. If YA includes sex, it either has the good girl regret having sex or the main character is a really promiscuous party girl.

Catherine wrote: "I remember a lot of the books I read being frank about sex as well. I even remember it being brought up in Christopher Pike. Loved him!"

I loved Christopher Pike.

Nisha wrote: "That's true, Michelle. If YA includes sex, it either has the good girl regret having sex or the main character is a really promiscuous party girl."

wow, sorry for my rambles last night. I must have been missing my school days of writing long essays!

haha, no worries.

Catherine wrote: "I'm 24, soon to be 25. :) Maybe it's just different areas? There were lots of drugs, smoking, sex and parties in my school. And gangs. Lots of gangs. It actually started in middle school, not ..."

I think it may be due to different geographic areas. I remember going on a trip with my youth group when I was 16. My gang was very innocent, the other group we met wasn't. It was a real eye opener for me.

Yeah, I was pretty innocent too. A lot of the kids around me too.

I suppose that's probably true, AH. I have a friend who has a 16 year old daughter. She is so sweet and innocent that it's hard for me to believe her age. She's adorable, but she still likes to cuddle up with her mom and dad and snuggle and I'd be shocked if she even contemplated sex yet. She seems very, very innocent.

It makes me feel protective of her, but I've also had many conversations with her mom (my friend) trying to figure out how she could be so naive and innocent. My friend despairs of ever getting rid of her. She doesn't think she'll grow up enough to be on her own anytime soon.

It blows my mind when I think about what I was doing at 16. Hell, even at 14! O_O

It must be my neighborhood. We had an abstinence only sex ed and strict curfew, so all the partying and sexing it up went underground.

I knew more than my friends because I read a lot - fanfiction and that sort, but my friends were even more innocent. It's as if I educated them...a child teaching children

I had my first sex ed class in 5th grade. Although the diseases and existence of a female condom were a surprise to some of us, most of it had already been circulated through rumors and gossip. I remember in fourth grade having a sort of contest to see who could learn the most out there term. I believe mine was Snowball. ;)

Ah, memories of my cruder days...

It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly.

sex ed in 5th grade? We learned about puberty then. And later in 7th and 8th, it was about STDs and that the safest way is not having sex (still no mention about condoms or birth control). In high school, it was unavoidable to hear rumors, but no formal sex education. Instead, in health class, we learned about the dangers of drugs... *sigh*

My school district...total fail

My little one had a puberty class recently. He's an 11 year old boy. He came home and said "Today we had a sex ed class and nobody threw up." Out of the mouths of babes.

AH wrote: "My little one had a sex ed class recently. He's an 11 year old boy. He came home and said "Today we had a sex ed class and nobody threw up." Out of the mouths of babes."

Ha!

Nisha wrote: "sex ed in 5th grade? We learned about puberty then. And later in 7th and 8th, it was about STDs and that the safest way is not having sex (still no mention about condoms or birth control). In high ..."

Yep. We had a very in depth sex ed class in 5th grade. Some parents opted for their kids not to participate, but most of us did. *shrug* We got it again in sixth grade.

AH wrote: "It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly."

I think adults think their kids are a lot less aware than they actually are.

AH wrote: "It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly."

LOL, my kids can make dinner and do laundry, it's my husband that is a total failure at dinner/laundry. It's a good thing he is "very good" at other things or he'd be a waste of testerone, muscles and brain. He is not capable of heating up a Banquet frozen dinner. The last time he attempted to wash clothes, he broke the washing machine (which I was happy about since I wanted a new one).

Have you seen some of the 8,9, and 10 year old girls lately? A lot of them are wearing bras already. They need the puberty class at the very least.

Michelle wrote: "LOL, my kids can make dinner and do laundry, it's my husband that is a total failure at dinner/laundry. It's a good thing he is "very good" at other things or he'd be a waste of testerone, muscles and brain. He is not capable of heating up a Banquet frozen dinner. The last time he attempted to wash clothes, he broke the washing machine (which I was happy about since I wanted a new one). "

LOL!

Michelle wrote: LOL, my kids can make dinner and do laundry, it's my husband that is a total failure at dinner/laundry. It's a good thing he is "very good" at other things or he'd be a waste of testerone, muscles and brain. He is not capable of heating up a Banquet frozen dinner. The last time he attempted to wash clothes, he broke the washing machine (which I was happy about since I wanted a new one). ..."

Good strategy there.

That's very liberal. Then again, I went to school in Texas - a very conservative, Republican, pro-life, almost redneck neighborhood. My mom (and many other moms) considered the already limited sex education as too extreme. At least my mom was open-minded enough to let me attend them.

Catherine wrote: "AH wrote: "It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly."

I think adults think their kids are a lot less ..."

When of my daughter's ex-friends (a male) was asking girls to give him oral sex for gifts/money. She told me about this when he asked her and she said no. My daughter showed me his facebook post in which he called my daughter a few not-to-be-repeated names (of course, my daughter called him a few names too).

So, I told the boy that he needs to come clean with his parents about what he is doing (I'm friends with his mom). I then told the boy's mom (my friend) to check his facebook and you might be surprised at what you read. Her response- "what are you talking about, we don't allow him to have a facebook account". I couldn't believe it. OBLIVIOUS!

AH wrote: "My little one had a puberty class recently. He's an 11 year old boy. He came home and said "Today we had a sex ed class and nobody threw up." Out of the mouths of babes."

hahaha. That's cute. We only had that problem when our teachers tried to show us the childbirth video. Unsurprisingly, only the first class, out of 7 in that day, ended up watching it.

Michelle wrote: "When of my daughter's ex-friends (a male) was asking girls to give him oral sex for gifts/money. She told me about this when he asked her and she said no. My daughter showed me his facebook post in which he called my daughter a few not-to-be-repeated names (of course, my daughter called him a few names too).

So, I told the boy that he needs to come clean with his parents about what he is doing (I'm friends with his mom). I then told the boy's mom (my friend) to check his facebook and you might be surprised at what you read. Her response- "what are you talking about, we don't allow him to have a facebook account". I couldn't believe it. OBLIVIOUS! "

I know a few parents like that. *rolls eyes*

Michelle wrote: "Catherine wrote: "AH wrote: "It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly."

I think adults think their ..."

Seriously? I don't understand how your friend could not be keeping track of what her son's doing online? Isn't that in the parenting manual? I know my parents make it a point to know what I'm up to, even if they don't acknowledge it.

Nisha wrote: "AH wrote: "My little one had a puberty class recently. He's an 11 year old boy. He came home and said "Today we had a sex ed class and nobody threw up." Out of the mouths of babes."

hahaha. That's..."

Ugh.Those videos are the one thing that can make anybody want to give up sex :D

Michelle wrote: "AH wrote: "It amazes me how much kids know about sex today, but ask them to do the laundry or make a salad for dinner, they'll look at you blankly."

LOL, my kids can make dinner and do laundry, ..."

Hilarious :D I'm glad he has redeeming qualities.

That's what I thought too. But I guess kids think more short-term about sex. Especially boys. And with condoms around, it's no longer an issue for most people.

I work in a birth center and while the births are intense, the videos that they show in school are much more scary. blood everywhere, screaming lady, people in surgical gear, *shudder*

Michelle wrote: So, I told the boy that he needs to come clean with his parents about what he is doing (I'm friends with his mom). I then told the boy's mom (my friend) to check his facebook and you might be surprised at what you read. Her response- "what are you talking about, we don't allow him to have a facebook account". I couldn't believe it. OBLIVIOUS! "


I don't have kids(a bit young for teenagers :)) but I have siblings and my friends have them.
Any way...a lot of my male friends almost had a hart attack when they realized their baby sisters (from 13 to 16) are befriending THEIR friends in order to have...well mostly sex.Because being on the booty call of older boys is so cute.
HORROR!
The worst thing is...they tend to lie about their age.And believe me,I am 22 and a lot of time I have no idea that half of the girls around me are more than 5 year younger.They dress so revealing and have so much make up!
My mother did not let me color my hair till I was at least 17.I had these super cool (at the time) red streaks.Nobody else had them!Now?People let their kids become blonds or ...purple when they are 13!!!

When I rant like this my teenager brother tells me i act like I'm 50 years old.
:/

I know, 'kids these days...' is my favorite line.

That's kinda funny, about your male friends with little sisters. It's only when it relates to their own family do boys get really conservative about sex.

Nisha wrote: "That's what I thought too. But I guess kids think more short-term about sex. Especially boys. And with condoms around, it's no longer an issue for most people.

I work in a birth center and while ..."


I know!I have seen them as a kid.The first time I went to the clinic to work I almost had an apoplexy when I saw that I was supposed to help a delivery.
And it was just kind of...tame.

But still I don't think the boys are really effected by those video at all.I know this is harsh but its not really their body.

Exactly. It's like purposely scaring the girls, which most of them have sex even if they don't want to.

Yeah, I wonder if sometimes it's too easy for kids to absorb a body-as-fashion-accessory policy about their bodies. Falsies, skin jewelry, etc. It's a very consumerist culture. I was thinking about that when I was reading Iron Kissed, where the daughter dyes her hair blue. I'm not against dyed hair, certainly, and I probably wouldn't have noticed it if the narrator didn't make a comment that the color was "cheerful." It's your hair, not an art piece. I think it's a little dangerous when kids treat their own bodies as objects, like an experiment, i.e. they don't know the consequences of certain actions will stay with them (dyeing aside, LOL).