Lit Reader’s Reviews > A Debt of Gratitude: A Pride and Prejudice Variation > Status Update
Lit Reader
is 70% done
More chronological mistakes >> a visit to tenants is first announced as urgent, days pass by before the visit is mentioned again and still hasn’t taken place ! Poor tenants, hahahahah
Cheap mistake >> casual mention of a trip from Longbourn to Pemberley to detour through London — WHY? Meryton lies on the North Road, this author knows this, doesn’t she ??
— Mar 03, 2026 05:31AM
Cheap mistake >> casual mention of a trip from Longbourn to Pemberley to detour through London — WHY? Meryton lies on the North Road, this author knows this, doesn’t she ??
4 likes · Like flag
Lit’s Previous Updates
Lit Reader
is 65% done
Several scenes are retold with little tweaks and copy-pasted lines; chronological order still flawed… unless this story is a post-modernist take with time jumps and dimensional loops… a-la hopscotch !
— Mar 02, 2026 04:26PM
Lit Reader
is 60% done
More editing errors >> The initial story says Georgiana was taken from London on the fake excuse of a visit to the modiste, but telling staff she was going away to visit some friends in the country; now Georgiana is telling Darcy an alternate story in which Mrs. Younge takes Georgiana out of the city on the explicit pretense of visiting friends, the modiste rests forgotten…
— Mar 02, 2026 10:25AM
Lit Reader
is 55% done
What is the point in painting the 5 Bennet sisters are brave, compassionate saviors of Georgiana, if as soon as Darcy shows up, they 2 younger ones will regress to a stage of wild lack of manners, disregard for their suroundings, and careless unawareness of their rescued guest !
— Mar 01, 2026 07:43PM
Lit Reader
is 50% done
There is a problem with the chapters, an apparent shuffling that peoduced chronological (or logical) mistakes.
Elizabeth meets Wickham when he visits Longbourn. Later she encounters Darcy on the road to Meryton. In a later chapter she tells Darcy she thought he could be Wickham when she met him (FD)— this makes no sense unless the chapters got shuffled.
This happens again, plus a mixup about a carriage vs riders
— Mar 01, 2026 05:54PM
Elizabeth meets Wickham when he visits Longbourn. Later she encounters Darcy on the road to Meryton. In a later chapter she tells Darcy she thought he could be Wickham when she met him (FD)— this makes no sense unless the chapters got shuffled.
This happens again, plus a mixup about a carriage vs riders
Comments Showing 1-9 of 9 (9 new)
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
J.C.
(new)
Mar 03, 2026 08:19AM
This author has good ideas, but she really needs help in structuring and editing her stories. I decided to skip anything she writes that is longer than 350 pages (LOL) because the longer the story, the more it goes off the rails, especially in terms of timelines and the inclusion of unnecessary subplots. I liked her "Most Iniquitous Affair" and "Holly and Ivy," but I DNF'd or skimmed most of her other works.
reply
|
flag
What’s most irritating here is the great potential the story presents; even some of the subplots are interesting, until they start to tangle together and trip over each other in the most confusing way… Bingley is both a guest ar Netherfield, and sometimes seems to be the tenant; Miss Bingley features several times by mention, yet has nevet appeared in person! The younger Bennets (withour ever leaving Longbourn) speak about Mrs. Reynolds with such familiarity that is as if they had read P&P ! Darcy speaks about Mrs. Young being “dealt with”, but when she shows up again asking for money, he acts surprised and ill equiped to “deal” with her again, just sends her off without any containment action on his part… and proclaims she has been “dealth with” again (what???). And so many inconsistencies just like these.
Those types of inconsistencies and "continuity errors" drive me crazy. I keep wondering if there is anyone who pre-reads, proofreads, or beta reads her books. Even if a best friend or family member is beta reading, surely, they would catch these types of errors. Oh, well. I won't be reading it; there are too many other stories where I have some hope of better storytelling.
I still found this story interesting and worthwhile in a perverse masochistic sense :) the main plot was good and the original idea had plenty of merit.The execution of it gives a very clear glimpse on the writing process >> the author appears to have written several scenes on a random whim, as exercises, prior to determining the final timeline of the story, so when she sat down to put them all together, she ended up shuffling these snippets instead of threading together a comprehensible, fluid narration…
Your ideas about the writing process make sense I’m sure you’re right.
The descriptions of the weather through the calendar year are miraculous too ! Darcy leaves Meryton in winter; they all wait for spring for Elizabeth to travel north and visit Georgiana. Easter arrives and Darcy goes to Rosings. But when he goes back to Derbyshire two weeks later (after Easter), there are descriptions of freshly melted snow, budding green plants just reappearing, and roads clearing up — what ???
So frustrating !! Each one of these mistakes would be so easy to fix !! Setting a proper timeline and some straight-up editing (with sharp shears) would be relatively easy…A missed opportunity.
That's true of so many newer P&P variation releases. There is a rush to publish because it's been a month or two since the author's last release, and their income stream has dropped. As a reader I get very frustrated because it strikes me as a lack of respect for fans of JAFF. As an author (not of JAFF), I'm appalled at the lackadaisical approach to editing, timelines, logic, travel times, proofreading, etc.
And I don't mean to pick on this particular author - she's not the worst by far, and she's not pushing out books every six weeks.
