Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* > Status Update

I'm so sorry Karly. It is true pure ignorance.

Thank you, Ginger.... I think it's one of the most ignorant comments I have ever heard :(

*hugs*

and... what? he thinks a woman wouldn't want to do the same?

*hugs back*

It wasn't that so much that made me angry, Ashley, though I can see how it would read that way. I basically lost my shit at him (Context: he is aware I was raped), I'm not very proud of that, because his statement implied, to me, that another person's action should define whether I would want to live or die. It's that shame cycle that I hate people telling me I am supposed to feel....

This might be heard the wrong way, but is it ignorance?! Isn't it possible that he meant it? That he knows he couldn't take it which is his own personal opinion of how he would deal (or, rather, not deal) with such a dreadful situation? Which might even mean the implication of a compliment: that you were stronger than he expects himself to be in the same situation.

And beyond the ignorance.
The knowledge of your past. Why would you even say that to someone?
That's like me saying to my friend that lost her child: 'if that happened to me I would kill myself'. She is already struggling with how to deal with her loss. Why would anyone encourage, or even imply, that she should deal with it that way.
I am angry for you!

Trish wrote: "This might be heard the wrong way, but is it ignorance?! Isn't it possible that he meant it? That he knows he couldn't take it which is his own personal opinion of how he would deal (or, rather, no..."

I might be inclined to agree and feel chastised with this, except it was said in this mocking manner.... so yeah, I'm going with ignorant here.

Ginger wrote: "And beyond the ignorance.
The knowledge of your past. Why would you even say that to someone?
That's like me saying to my friend that lost her child: 'if that happened to me I would kill myself'...."

That is basically exactly how it sounded to me, hence the anger and more anger. But I did overreact, and came off insane (probably) instead of rational and informative.

Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "I might be inclined to agree and feel chastised with this, except it was said in this mocking manner.... so yeah, I'm going with ignorant here."

Yes, well, HOW something is said is always as important as the words themselves. Since I wasn't there, I can't comment on the way he said it. Just wanted to give another perspective is all. I, myself, have the utmost respect for people getting through such a horrible thing and I would understand if someone said he/she just couldn't do it (I think it's everyone's personal choice and should not be judged).

Oh, I completely agree with that, Trish. I would never say how someone is supposed to deal with rape. Not at all. It's entirely individual.

Couldn't agree more.

I love your alternate perspective Trish ;)
I always welcome it!

I...one eye is twitching...I think would have lost my shit at him, no, no doubt about it. With his previous knowledge, there simply is no reason and no excuse for delivering such a comment. TO YOU.

Ginger wrote: "I love your alternate perspective Trish ;)
I always welcome it!"

Thanks. ;)

It is hard for anyone to understand a situation unless they are faced with it themselves. Which is why difficult and painful situations should be treated with sympathy, not arrogant ignorance that just makes you feel worse.

But it shows a lot of strength to have not hit the arsehole!

Ginger wrote: "I love your alternate perspective Trish ;)
I always welcome it!"

I agree! It's always refreshing!

I fundamentally disagree with violence, Susie.... so to be honest I didn't even think of hitting him. I wish I could say this was the worst of the ignorant comments, but alas it's not. Rape culture is such a huge problem that sometimes I feel exhausted just thinking about the enormity of wailing against it.

Stay strong and proud Karly. Words wound but they cannot kill a Ninja. There are more of us cheering for you than you know. So, when the ignorant go low, you rise and let your luminescent glory shine.

Thank you, Merideth! That is a very sweet thing to say :)