Campbell Andrews > Recent Status Updates

“The river was once the place where officials stored sewage and murderers stored bodies.”

Just how many murderers would that be?

Reductive generalization

Condescension bleeding through

top of the page is where Ms. Gunty lost her nerve

NOW there’s first-person??

occasionally I finish a passage that I know I’ll recall the rest of my life

in a 300-page book, this should’ve happened on page 50.

possible break in voice?

this is as far as I go.

so much of this now makes no sense:

“their astonished circling is identical.”

“I vow to stop betraying the Unseen!”

there aren’t enough un-enlightened characters in this book. Mr. Duncan has sent them spinning off into an orbit this carnal, sinful reader can’t reach.

another thing, which DJD is shrewd enough to incorporate but loath to acknowledge: his brand of utopia is inescapably *moneyed*.

so much of the exposition now is in dialogue, and while his rhythms are still lively he doesn’t differentiate his speaking voices very well — especially when it comes to the new agey/spiritual stuff. all that sounds like breathless “Hey, let’s put on a show!” adolescent gee-willikers gosh darn tootin’ Up With People tripe.