Rai (is hard to please) > Recent Status Updates

“update: we got married ♥”

AWEEE STFUUUU

“Everyone you love will hurt you, in some way. Most of them, I hope, will do it by accident. Some of them will do it on purpose. Don’t let them win by letting it harden you. Stay trusting. And hopeful. Fall in love again, and again, and again. It’ll be okay. I promise. And ladies, pee after sex.”

:)

“I thought Emery had a low exclusion rate because there weren’t any issues with bullying here. But they’ve just been sweeping everything under the rug, because they don’t want to make the school look bad!”

Well… duh.
Where tf u been? We all been knew.

“Listen,” he says quietly. “You can’t put that stuff online.” 
I check my nails. “Can’t I?” 
“No!” His eyes are wide. “For God’s sake, I was a kid!”
“So was I. That didn’t stop you from making my life a living Hell.” 

She never misses.

“Is it blackmail if he deserves it?” I say slowly.
“Yes, Layla,” Luke sighs, sounding exhausted. 
I stretch out my legs, considering my glittery pink toenail polish. “I don’t think I care,” I decide. 

ME NEITHER BITCH
GO GET THEM RECEIPTS
IF WE GOIN TO JAIL WE GOIN TOGETHER

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you,” I say levelly. “I’m sure I will. But I promise that when I do, it will never, ever be on purpose. And I’ll find some way to fix it. I will.” 

Can he BE any more perfect?

“I used to wish that the grief could hit me all at once. If it was 1 massive wash of pain, I could’ve fought through it. Let it make me stronger. But it’s not like that. It’s like a tap dripping, steadily eroding u away. It doesn’t make u strong; it only ever makes u weaker.” (…) “[Now] I’m apparently so weak that I’ll lie to the person I love most in the world, just to keep her close to me.”

“As a friend, I can see that you were in pain, and I can forgive you. But as a partner — I can’t. Okay? I can’t let you treat me like that.”

Go little rockstar 🥹

“All three of us were openly dating Layla, so I don’t see how on earth it could be construed as cheating.” 

YES. EXACTLY. TY FOR BEING THE VOICE OF REASON ONCE AGAIN, JOSH. MY MAN ✊✊

“Do you think it would be more insulting than what you’re doing now?” I ask levelly. “Do you honestly think that Emily wanted you to ruin the rest of your life over her? You think she wanted you to treat a girl who loved you like utter crap, in her memory.”

Honestly, just give him a psych degree at this point

“Scared?” Zack says with mock sympathy. “Seems to be an issue for you, huh?”

Damn, Z. I really let myself believe in you for a minute there.
Sure showed me.

“It’s funny. I’ve analysed those photos so closely. In every single one of them, it’s the guys who are coming on to me. Luke is kissing my cheek. Zack is pulling me into his chest. Josh is tipping my mouth up for a kiss. But of course, everyone naturally assumes I’m the slag.”

say it with me: FUCK the patriarchy

… am I missing sumn?? Why is Layla being accused of cheating on the guys… with each other??? Their entire fanbase KNOWS they’re all dating her

I’m so confused

“You’re a coward, Mr Martins,” she says quietly. “You spend all day teaching other couples to open themselves up to love. But you’d never do it yourself. You tell other people to take risks you think are too dangerous for yourself. You’re a hypocrite and a coward. And I hate cowards.”

✨ W o m e n ✨

“He’s grieving,” she says firmly. “And I’m sorry about that. Of course, I am. But that doesn’t excuse his behaviour. I told him that I loved him, and he hurt me to make himself feel better. I don’t think that’s a valid coping mechanism, and I’m not letting him get away with disrespecting me completely, just because he’s sad.”

Yes, ma’am 😌

“What the Hell is wrong with you?! You’re not my friend, you don’t respect me at all! No friend would treat me like that!”

Go, Layla go. Go, Layla go.
Kick him in the balls
Wait- what? Nothing.

“Aw,” I tease. “You care about me?” 
He frowns. “Sorry. I meant to say despised. I get those words mixed up.” 
“Uh huh.” I slide my hands down the hard planes of his chest. “And how long have you despised me?” 
His eyes are swallowing me whole. “From the moment I met you.”

Ahah.
I’m fine. I’m totally fine.

“If a guy sends a grey sweatpants pic, don’t respond with the magnifying glass emoji.”

… I am doing this from now on. You can’t stop me.

“LAYLA: Um, yeah, I’ll give it a go. I’ve never been to a wedding before. 
LUKE: They’re awful.
LAYLA: We can trauma bond, then.”

The transcript chapters are too fucking funny man

“Okay, babe. I don’t know how strong the human head is, and I don’t think it matters. There’s no weight capacity. Just sit on his face, and if he dies, he dies.”

HAHHHHHHHHH LAYLAAAAAA

“Christ, L.” He traces his fingers down my arms. “You’re just not ready. It’s fine.” 
I frown. “But I already slept with you! How could I not be ready?!” 
He shrugs a shoulder. “You can be ready one day, and not ready the next. You’re not a vibrator. You’re not always on.”

Okay, fine. This man can have a podcast.

“Screw you,” she spits. “Don’t make this my fault. I did ask for help.”

You. Go. Girl.
Let him have it :)

LAYLA STRIPPING ON THE PODCAST LMAOOOOOO PLZZZZ

incredible.

“You sure? We could just stay like this for a bit, if you’d prefer.”
“I could murder you in your sleep, if you’d prefer.”

Is she… me? Am I her? Are we the same person??

FOGKAOWOCIA ZACK NOT THE DILDO PFFFFFFF

“We live in a society which tells us that we’re supposed to get everything we need, physically and emotionally, from one person. But that’s impossible.”

THATS WHAT I BEEN SAYING

“Anyone who doesn’t care about whether or not you’re comfortable is a shitty date.”

TELL HER

“I love this woman. The day she set my house on fire was the luckiest day of my life. It truly is the luck of the Irish: perverse. Inexplicable. And utterly fantastic.”

Hey, look. That almost sounded romantic.

“Still, the Jeep is outshone by the car parked next to it. A very familiar car.”

Oh ffs, Oliver.

I’ll bet my left butt cheek Aida’s tracking down the watch