Rai (is hard to please) > Recent Status Updates

“I promise you,” Mariel said through a thick throat, “if Oz insults me or starts treating me badly, I will tell you. If he does anything to hurt me, I will tell you.”
Calladia swallowed hard, then nodded. “And if he does . . . can I beat him up?”
Mariel smiled. “Yes, you can beat him up.”

I am her. She is me.

“She knew she was prone to flights of fancy and sudden tangents, but what else was she supposed to do when there were so many interesting things to think about? Like demon dick, for instance.”

Well.
Yeah.
Fair.

“You’re staring,” he said.
“Yeah,” she admitted. Hard to deny that one.
“Why are you staring?”
“Why aren’t you?”

Imagine being confident

“If you give me your soul, I’ll make sure she never talks about her vagina ever again.”
She rolled her eyes. “I was wondering when you’d get back to offering silly deals.” Then she sighed. “That one’s tempting though.”

HELP 😭😭

“Do you know him?”
“Yes.”
“Is he a creep? I can fight him.”

We are of the same mind, Calladia and I

Bonus chapter:
“Her body reminds me of being alive, of being in love. Her body is a topography of my every desire come to life, of plush curves and soft skin, of dips and valleys and dimples.”

MISS MORGANA??
jc 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

“This is not your problem to solve, Janneth.”

Isn’t it tho?? Wouldn’t the human realm be at risk too??
Does this Acanthia bitch WANT the veil to remain down? Overpowered fae or nah, that seems like a bad idea, lady

“Blood drips between her long fingers as she lifts it to her lips and takes a bite.”

A stags fate.
Impending death confirmed

“I slide my hand free and, without thinking, lift it to my mouth.”

Oop. She just took of the fruit, didn’t she 😅

“You will not be harmed until you leave Faerie.”
… until???????

“So too shall she be worthy of a stag’s fate.”
So- death? Paying the tithe involves Janneth dying, yes?

Ok but why should we just take Felipe’s word for it?
Nah. I’m too paranoid for this

The way I would just chug the salt 💀

….
I’m having Patroclus flashbacks
I may be panicking a little

Listen.
This mf better recover.
I did not sign up for depression today

Huh?? Wasn’t Stafford supposed to be all overbearingly paranoid about the north?? But he’s not worried about Willard?
Sus.

Well, now you’ve done it. 9/10 experimental kisses between non-compatible queers end in lifelong friendship.

Don’t. Don’t steal her diary.
DON’T.

“Lottie, please, you’re not making this easy on me.”

BRO??????

Not Dave and Ellie being the real main characters. Unbothered, unproblematic, and fully committed to the bit. Respect.

“Uh, you know, I really need to get in the shower,” Kelsey says. “And I don’t know how to handle awkward situations. I want to be a good sister, but I also can’t handle it when guys do that whole puppy-dog-eye thing, and he looks so pathetic, so basically, I’m just going to bolt.”

And I stay hating this bitch

“That’s the thing you’re not getting, Kelsey. He reacted without thinking, and his reaction was to not trust me. I was about to tell him that I loved him. That he makes me so incredibly happy and every day I’m grateful to wake up in his arms.” Tears flow down my cheeks. “But to him, I’m something he’s willing to throw away over an assumption. Do you see the problem?”

Tell 🫵🫵

Is this mf fr rn?
Eat shit and die, Huxley.

“Everything okay over here?” Heaven’s voice cuts through the chaos.
I pause my theatrics and try not to vomit from the putrid smell on my face. “Judith is experiencing an exorcism,” I say.

HAH PLSTFHJVZSRIOM

Wow, this is fun. Being forced to touch other people’s bodies in intimate areas.
Not at all violating.

“God, he’s been so mercurial. So up and down and straight-up assholish at times, but he also has this giving heart I can’t seem to ignore.”

*clears throat*
LIKE ANGELA???

“I joked about our agreement replicating that of Pretty Woman, me being the less whore-y version of Vivian, but instead of Vivian being the one who doesn’t kiss on the lips . . . it’s Huxley.”

what… the fuck, Lottie?

“I’ve never stopped to feel the rain.” I turn my head, open my eyes, and see him staring back at me. “Thank you.”

Best line so far

“Like the mercurial man he is, he dipped and showed that generous personality again, the one I saw while we were at Chipotle.”

Like Angela, you mean?

“I’m too selfish at the moment. Too focused on my career, on my goals.”

Look at that. He’s self aware.
Now get out of my face.

“I’m a good man. You might not see it now, but you will.”

Bull fucking shit. Good men don’t gotta advocate for their own decency.