R.F. Gammon > Recent Status Updates

Me: so, towards the end of my series, I'm killing someone important.

Friend: O_O

Friend: NO! NO NO NO! HOW DARE YOU KILL OFF THAT CHARACTER (S)HE'S MY FAVORITE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*a few months later*

Me: so is there anything I can improve in my book? Anything you wanna see?

Friend: yeah. You can not kill that one character.

I think Hera secretly wrote the Iliad because the number of compliments regarding and comparisons to Zeus are waaaaaay too frequent to be genuine

Seriously, I think I can predict what’s going to happen in book 3 regarding a certain someone, and I really hope I’m wrong (but at the same time I hope I’m right?)

everyone in this book is the actual worst

Petition to rename Simon “Atlas” because man his shoulders must be heavy from holding up the moral ceiling in this series and being the only decent human in this storyworld

ahhh yes my favorite character of all time *whacks her with my fearsome pole weapon*

There's only one person besides Simon in this series with any semblance of a heart and he doesn't even count because he's dead whoops

Hey, LORD Endrick, have you heard of the angry fangirl society? Because we are coming for you.

Gotta love how *open-minded* and *feminist* the ancient Greeks were I can’t imagine them treating women like objects or anything like that can you

Okay, yes, I’m in love.

Oh no.

This is excellent.

“It’s ALWAYS the boyfriend.”

...McManus books are becoming self-aware.

My poor sweet babies

Listen, I don’t care if Oeric is ugly. I love him anyway.

(And...also, Ragniprava.)

How is this so complex and perfect

Just sitting here waiting for a friend to start reading a particular book so I have an excuse to read it again...*whistles innocently*

Ack I forgot that the Hunter is actually super creepy when he’s first introduced here

This is my reward for slogging through the awful monotony that was Throne of Glass: I get to reread for a fourth time one of my most favorite books. <3

“He kissed her. It made her jaw hurt.”

The romance is palpable I ship it so hard

“I name you Spirit-Who-Could-Not-Be-Broken.”

Me: I CANT STAND THE DISTANCE, I CANT DREAM ALONE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU CUZ IM ON MY WAY HOOOOOOOME

(Brian Adams did it better)

“Her heart was big and as red as her teeth.”

I’m sorry but what

I bid a fond welcome to the iconic SJM “purring.” Honestly, from what I’ve heard, I’m amazed it took this long to show up.

No.

Nuh uh.

She did NOT just decide to name a book within this story “The Walking Dead.”

What.

I feel like someone who, as a small child, was forced by her master to slam her hand in the door so hard it broke, should not know what to DO with freedom. There should be some level of PTSD here and it should NOT have to do with dead ol’ Sam.

Some characters in this book:
-Celaena
-Dorian
-Nehemia
-Arobynn

Other characters:
-Sam
-Bill
-Nox

I quake before thee, O Most Feared Assassin named Bill. *shakes in my boots* all I can think of right now is Bill Ferny in LotR...

So how come Celanelanelalnea eats as much as she wants but still has a figure but can’t run but can handle fencing a much bigger man with a regularly sized sword because every one of these contradicts each other

Wait. So. It's a competition to see who's the best fighter, sponsored by the wicked king, with exactly 24 competitors who will be eliminated one by one, each with a sponsor. *taps chin, pretends to think* I've never seen THAT before.

Okay, so she’s vain, sure. Whatever. I’ll suspend my disbelief for that.

But the CROWN PRINCE should NOT think she’s “lovely.” I don’t care how nice he is. She is EMACIATED.

“Oh! I’ve been starving and condemned to hard labor for an entire YEAR now! *sniffles* and the worst part is—I’M NOT BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE!!!! *howls*”