Lupinus Texensis > Recent Status Updates

Rainbow Rowell is some kind of witch who turns me into a complete rom-com sap, rooting for *~true love~* and MAGIC FUCKING PHONE.

Wow. The exposition fairy must have not only visited, but moved in, refused eviction, and chained herself to the radiator.

I love this narrator, but she was also Eleanor in Eleanor & Park. Every time I get in the car, there's a half second where I hope I've entered into some kind of magical sequel...

I'm sorry, life, you are ON HOLD.

This is going to be a soothing balm to my ears after Allegiant.

Oh thank Gd. Listen Alaska and Rob Thomas to the rescue.

Am I still here? Are you still here? Or are we all just being slowly worn away by the slow, steady droplets of nothing happening.

After this there's no more novels and then I'll have to watch both seasons of the show (already checked out to myself) and then NOTHING. NOTHING.

Is it over yet? Please, someone tell me it's over.

"Don't fuck with me, kid. I'm a recovering Catholic, and we owned most of the known world when your bunch started promising people planets and wearing funny underwear." I wish we'd gotten to see Vic at that public relations seminar.

Beatrice, OF COURSE. Man, I am dense. Beatrice.

So the antagonist has a name that means Brave/Mighty Ghost, the Inferno and Pilgrim's Progress have already been referenced, the titular quote ends "...and all the devils are here," oh and Reynaud Shade's ass, like Walt's, belongs to the Camp of the Dead. No sleep tonight, kids.

I'm making affirmations about becoming Vic the Terror now.

Welcome to Whose Book is This Anyway? Where the characters are all made up and backstory doesn't matter.

Welcome to Whose Book is This Anyway? Where the characters are all made up and backstory doesn't matter.

"Duane, you stupid prick, how'm I supposed to know you've got Grampus tied to the back of the car?"

oh shit oh shit oh shit

No, YOU stole an unprocessed book out of a sealed shipment box.

"Henry Standing Bear was resplendent in a white t-shirt with the logo FIGHTIN' WHITIES on it and below, in smaller script, EVERY THANG'S GONNA BE ALL WHITE." Henry is a treasure and a delight.

I feel like the special dog from Hyperbole and a Half. I'm just going to make high pitched keening noises until someone makes this stop.

"They don't all start out as peckerheads; some just get there faster than others."

Well put, Dorothy, well put.

I have poor self-control and cannot resist the one-click.

Can I make this last until it's my turn for the next book on ListenAlaska? Stay tuned.

NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE. AND TRIS'S GUN SAFETY IS TERRIBLE. SHE WOULD HAVE SHOT HERSELF BY NOW.

I am learning all kinds of new racial slurs. Boy howdy.

Okay, I love you, Craig Johnson, but you should not be writing sex scenes. Not...like that anyway. Maybe it's all the good sex scenes I ingested over Chrismukkah Break, but...no.

That was the kind of sex grenade that editors are supposed to throw themselves onto before readers get bad sex all over them.

I just...why? WHY?

I listen to this during my commute, and if I roll my eyes any harder I'm going to run someone off the road.

I think one of the reasons I love these books so much is though they are incredibly manly (Wyoming Sheriff, quotes Shakespeare, has angst0, they manage to make it seem authentic and not Louis L'Amour cheesy. Plus, it's not gross toxic masculinity. It's...traditional, but not asshole. It's clear that both Walt and Craig really like women, not just as receptacles or objects, but as people.

"a beautiful, intelligent woman with a body like Salome and a mouth like a saltwater crocodile."

NEW LIFE GOAL.