Samanthability > Recent Status Updates

“Also, Hedgizabeth Bennet? Not a porcupine name.”

Ali loves Jane Austen

“The birthday girl is opening presents by the fireplace, telling one of her daughters-in-law, “A coupon for a mud bath? Lovely. It’ll feel like practice for when I’m lowered in my grave and you all fight over my money.”

Sassy Granny

Elsie is diabetic.
I’m not sure what Bee’s issue was with the fainting.
I also don’t remember Olive having any issues besides needing glasses.

A gun? Guy has a gun? That’s so wild, and I’m so unserious for my reaction to this.

She’s surely participating in in-love activities.

“Guy is a security admin and has agreed to delete all footage.”

Guy is the one sharing the brain mapping plans with the other company, I’m sure.

“If tomorrow you see Annie and Tim and feel . . . like you felt today. Just take my hand, okay?”

Cue Elvis: Take my hand, take my whole life too. Cause I can’t help falling in love with you.

“What else is there to say? He’s in love with someone who doesn’t love him back. Who is married. This story has no happy ending.”

Bee is obtuse

Levi is staring at me with a puzzled, patient expression, and I have no idea how to tell him that this is, like, the tenth thing we have in common. Sci-fi and cats and science and obviously men’s deodorants and who knows what else. It’s so incredibly upsetting to me, I can’t even imagine how much he’d hate it if he knew. I toy with the idea of telling him, but he doesn’t deserve it.

“My jaw drops. What? Levi has a child? A small, human child?”

It is pretty predictable that he owns the other Twitter account. Also, he’s in love with her but he’s awkward.

“He is just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to do twice as much work as he ever did in order to prove that she’s worthy of becoming a scientist.”

Notting Hill

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a community of women trying to mind their own business must be in want of a random man’s opinion.”

I just need to see an Ali interview where she says how much she loves Jane Austen & Pride & Prejudice.

“Oh, we bitch. We bitch a lot, and it’s glorious.”

Oh how I love Ali’s writing.

“and you want to feel safe and practice maintenance of your emotional boundaries, but that can’t prevent you from ever dating again.”

Because I had sworn off dating for years. Now’s my time to shine.

I quite adore seeing my name in books.
SAMANTHA

We’re already giving Mr. Darcy. “Tolerable.”

Except that Levi didn’t seem interested in conversation. He studied me intensely, with those piercing green eyes of his. He stared at me from head to toe for several moments. And then he said . . . Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He just made what Tim, my ex-fiancé, later referred to as an “aghast expression,” and walked out of the lab with a wooden nod and zero compliments—not even a stilted, fake one.

“That finding someone to love you romantically is actually kind of easy”

“There’s a whole cocktail of brain chemicals at work telling you to obsess over this other person. Plus a rulebook for relationships we’ve all been given since infancy. Friendship doesn’t have any of that, and so finding a person who will hold you down for no reason is rare.”

“It was Nia.
Hey Angie, it said. I was hoping to stop by the apartment tonight. Can we please talk?”

Been through that. It when my “friend” decided to move funny, I let her and seized all communication, because why you being weird to me?

“Girl, at least figure out if you’re exclusive,” she said. “I realize you didn’t get your dating reps in, so you might just not know, but the rules of millennial courtship basically state that if you don’t explicitly agree on that, he’s gonna be fucking other people.”

And she not wrong

“The secret to long-lasting love is simple. You wake up. You roll over and look at your wife. And you say to yourself, today, I will choose you. I will love you. And you keep doing that every single day until you die.”

Love that

Kind of bratty and rude.
An obstinate, headstrong, girl. And not the good kind.

“Who didn’t want a relationship? Hadn’t we all grown up watching the same romantic comedies, reading the same young adult vampire novels, and dreaming of the day that another person looked us in the eyes and declared themselves ours?”

“Maybe when we were still sitting on a bench in Lydia’s garden, doing a deep dive into each other’s vulnerabilities, invoking fate had felt appropriate. Now, it seemed like a joke. To think, for a time I’d thought Ricky was different. Special. Emotionally intelligent and accessible in a way that was rare and precious in a guy.”

I’m hurt for you.

“I think you’re thinking too hard about this. Love isn’t a test. There aren’t right answers.
You can’t get into anyone’s head and puzzle together whether or not they can love you, or you can love them. You just have
to jump in blind and accept the chance that you might get hurt.”

Nora is kind of depressing.

“The swimmer. Super-brain. Didn’t whatshisface, Mr Blandford, do an assembly on you once? Said you were going to end up at the Olympics?”

“Thought you’d be one who got away.”

“She knew she should be experiencing pity and despair for her feline friend – and she was – but she had to acknowledge something else. As she stared at Voltaire’s still and peaceful expression – that total absence of pain – there was an inescapable feeling brewing in the darkness.
Envy.”

Does Nora envy his peace or his death?

“See? With a brain like yours you can do anything.”

Where on Earth do y’all get “pearly liquid” from? That’s so strange.