Ms. Smartarse > Recent Status Updates

I feel like I should cry now, but my eyes are completely dry. So I'll just curl up in a ball... and read it to end. *bites nails bloody*

It's been empty for a long time, but it was cult place for visitors of Berlin, though probably mostly during summer. Now even the mildew on the walls was frozen.


Ballhaus-Grünau

"I was four or five years old again, and I didn't pray to God, I prayed to Margarete. She's always been the only saint in my life."

All six doors were closed to prevent excessive ventilation. They had been opened only once, at the president's visit in 1962. That had been a rather unpleasant event, as the air currents had caused one door to suddenly bang close, hitting one ass kisser in the face. Said ass kisser had eventually become the Minister of Transportation, and promptly ordered those doors to be closed for all eternity.

Other research efforts have been focused on squeaking of the doors and windows from the building. In spite of the important intellectual and physical resources allocated, people have yet to fully uncover the cause for the squeaking. It has thus been concluded, that an extraterrestrial technology must've been used, so that any two surfaces connected by a hinge may squeak regardless of temperature, pressure or volume.

That picture above is the only appropriate response here. Followed by instant fainting... not before hitting send, of course.

...only one day she got homesick for Berlin. Or Berlin got homesick for her, because it offered her a job in an art gallery, where people would hang weird weird paintings wrong.

THIS IS A CHRISTIAN NATION! ALL FOOT PLAY WILL BE PUNISHED BY THE HOOK, said another sign. The sign was meaningless to me, since I had not yet learned that Bokononists mingled their souls by pressing the bottoms of their feet together.



So far so good, meaning: WTF did I just read?!

It took some time to immerse myself into it, given the month break I took, but it's back to being gripped by the story. Now if only I would manage to keep up with Dany's foreign officials. Their names are all atarting to sound the same...

"I'm not sure what you're insinuating."
"We must brush up on our insinuation technique."

In a perfect universe, A.J. and Jake's risque moments wouldn't just fade out with a suggestive "I'll massage anything you want". I'm looking at you Adrien English Mystery series...



On the other hand, I should've left (and returned) 3 hours ago... but I chose to continue reading. So that's something.

"Did it somehow escape your notice that that girl was having an affair with the dead man?"
"He wasn't dead when they were having their affair."



But seriously, point for A.J.

Your mother's ageless. Like a diamond. Or a national disaster

A.J. spoke cautiously. "You mean ripped out as in..."
Suze made an uncannily vivid gesture - sort of like a monster yanking his bow tie off with both claws.

FFS Simon! Your secret plans might as well be taking up front page headlines by now!

[The hangman] took an arm-length pincer, which he would generally use during torture.
"We'll just have to extract it."
"Now?" asked Karl Semmer close to fainting.
The hangman gave the mayor a beer mug full of schnapps.
"Why not? It's time for my wife to get up, anyway."


Did I mention how much I appreciate my dentist?

"I don't like it when people in my district are poisoned! There's only one who kills people here, and that's me! "
"And who're you, that thinks this is your business?", hissed the foreign voice.
"I am the hangman"

Even though things seemed vaguely boring at first, the story now reads in a rather nostalgic manner... It's starting to get addictive.

Dear footnote, you say that wasabi is similar to mustard... are you SERIOUS?!

On the subject of police morality:
"I can assure you, ma'am, that any beer barrel in the presence of my men for any lenght of time will be empty," said Vimes. "You may rest assured that score."
"And are your men sober and clean-living?" the woman demanded.
"Whenever no alternative presents itself, ma'am," said Vimes.

"You never attended his [stealthy movement] lessons, he said."
"Oh, I did. Religiously."
"He says he never saw you at any of them."
Havelock smiled. "And your point, Madam, is..."

'In a way, it'll be--'
'Like a dream,' said Vimes wearily.
Sweeper brightened. 'Very good! Yes! Not true, but a very, very good lie!'

Reader conundrum no. ### : Trying to picture a sweltering summer, while watching pretty snowfall.

I thought I would enjoy this way more than the first book, on account of being more proficient in German. But I still need to check the dictionary for every 3rd word...



*siiiiiigh....*

In this city it sometimes seemed that 70% of the population believed Go fuck yourself was American for Have a nice day.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing, Dorothy," Eddie said. "You ain't in Kansas anymore."

I never thought about being tailed [...] I'm a student of traffic patterns, that's all.

In some ways cool turkey’s worse than cold turkey, Henry said. At least when you make it to cold turkey, you KNOW you’re gonna puke, you KNOW you’re going to shake, you KNOW you’re gonna sweat until it feels like you’re drowning in it. Cool turkey is, like, the curse of expectation.

"The Bishop had written back, that The Church is not responsible. If Abel had been posessed by the Devil, then he could have been exorcised. However not even the Vatican can do anything against people possessed by God."

"Aha, and why do you then know about God's mysterious ways?" I ask. "Are you perhaps the Dear Lord in person?"
Baumann twitches noticeably, and lets out a resounding laugh.
"Impressive!" he says, and is shaken by a new laughing fit. Tears are running down on his cheeks. "Bulls eye, Dr. Jakobi. I am indeed."