Ms. Smartarse > Recent Status Updates

The only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are - not smarter, not cooler, but kinder and more generous, and more forgiving - and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad - or good - it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.

"Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you just need to accept things, Jude?" he finally asked.
"You said to never just accept anything," he reminded Harold.
"That's in the classroom and in the courtroom," Harold said. "Not in life. You see, Jude, in life, sometimes nice things happen to good people. You don't need to worry - they don't happen as often as they should."

I was sitting on the bus to Ludwigsburg, when a woman's loud sigh of "Je t'aime" could be heard. Everyone, including the driver, was looking around furtively, hoping to identify the half-naked French woman, until the moans started in earnest.
I didn't realise at first that the sounds were coming from my own bag, until I opened it and the moans got louder. The display was showing "[boss] - don't answer!"

She'd have made a perfekt Sleeping Beauty, albeit one who wore a T-Shirt saying "I am NOT Luise".

"I still can't believe that you've learned to Imagine in secret. What other secrets are you keeping from me, you little genius?"
"Don't worry, I'm still traumatised and have yet to accept my new reality," I replied throwing his words back.

She smiled at me hesitantly and the cold I was feeling stopped. Matilda was clearly my bathtub and my chicken soup, and I wanted to just hug her close and tell her that. Well perhaps with a different phrasing. "You're my bathtub" is probably not among the romantic greetings you'd see on a Valentine's card.

"You must be out of your mind, scaring me like that!" I swore, but only softly to avoid attracting too much attention. "You cant just stalk me invisibly!"
"Would you like it if I stalked you visibly? I'm afraid people would start fainting in droves," Bax giggled. "Not everyone can keep their cool as well as you, when they see a demon, even a beautiful one."

"Death, danger, danger, death - I don't know about you, but I've had enough of this subject for today." Then, with an irresistible crooked smile she added "And you should put the crutch down, d'Artagnan, people are starting to stare."

"We look into each other's hearts...," repeated Mrs. von Arensburg. "Why do I feel so uneasy at the thought?"
"Oh that was the light version. Their last essay was called 'We Burn For Life'," I whispered back. "People were afraid they'd set fire to the school, as they had put 274 candles in the classroom, one for each senior."

Christmas presents be like:

Julie and I had checked online on Boxing Day whether it was trully possible to buy [such an awful ruffled blouse], and to our surprise we found it, without having to bribe an ancient seamstress. Then again, the models wearing them were at most 8 years-old with cute tooth gaps.

Every member of Eternity was supposed to have a strong drive, the stronger for being officially suppressed in all its manifestations, to return, not necessarily to his own Time, but at least to some one definite Time; to become part of a century, rather than to remain a wanderer through them all. Of course in most Eternals the drive remained safely hidden in the unconscious.

Up until now, the 5th December has always been "the day I uncovered the St. Nicholas-lie" , or as my family called it "the day Matilda yanked uncle Ansgar's beard off, trampled the pointy hat, and spoiled everyone's holiday celebrations".

Pre-battle banter be like:

"Perhaps now would be a good time to tell me about the mountain-goat princess? Just in case we don't get another chance?"
"Forget it. We're taking that story to the grave."
"Hopefully not today," mumbles Narvila.

"Have you ever tracked someone this long?"
"Aye, even for several weeks. The world's large, but as long as we find tracks and no dead body..."
"That's an uplifting outlook."

You're not destined or chosen, I wish I could tell you that you were if that would make it easier, but it's not true. You're in the right place at the right time, and you care enough to do what needs to be done. Sometimes that's enough.

"Wufju fay foo im," he asks, with his mouth mostly full.
"I tried to explain as much as I could," Poppet says. "I think I made an analogy about cake."
"Well, that must've worked," Widget says."Who doesn't like a good cake analogy?"

"Why haven't you asked me how I do my tricks?"
"Because I do not wish to know. I prefer to remain unenlightened, to better appreciate the dark.

Even though I keep wishing this story were creepier (yes, seriously!), I very much like the dreamlike atmosphere evoked by the writing style.

What does it say about your writing style, when one of you better jokes is vomit-related? 🤔

Narvilla rips her facemask off and starts puking like no tomorrow.
"Sounds like an ogre fucking," she hears Mef say.
"I don't want to hear how you came by that knowledge," says Aiby.
"I think I'll too be vomiting soon," retorts Decanra.

If Christian Enders were to write an Indiana Jones adventure story, he'd probably spend 2 minutes on Indy looking for some lost relic, and 578896532 hours on his weapon cleaning technique... 🙄

Two young ladies asked for directions to the solarium today. I showed them the way to the crematorium. A little fun now and then keeps one young.

The language of the court was, of course, not as poetic as the language of the marsh. Yet Kya saw similarities in their nature.

So now, sitting outside the old cabin, she picked up a scientific digest. One article on reproductive strategies was titled "Sneaky Fuckers". 😁

Kya never went back to school a day in her life. She returned to heron watching and shell collecting, where she reckoned she could learn something. "I can already coo like a dove," she told herself. "And lots better than them. Even with all them fine shoes."

Ingrid is a mystery for everyone at the railway office, including the big boss. They all know her as the "computer whiz" who discovered a secret key combination which tacks an additional 50% discount on any sales price. She's yet to disclose her ways. It's Ingrid's firm belief that since customers already put up with so many dirty carriages and delays, they very much deserve to travel affordably.

Gertrud's receipts and insurance papers are a right mess, but when it comes to her pills she can tell you which one she took, for what reason and how it affected her, all the way back to 1989. She writes it all down in pen on the package, marking the desired side effects and along with the actual ones.

It started with my daughter wanting money. I pretended to be hard of hearing - something us elderlies sometimes do, I'll admit. If I get an unpleasant question, I'll wait a bit first and pretend not to have heard it. If the person insists and I still don't have a witty reply, I'd smile, hold my hand to my ear and ask "Sorry?". The important thing is to smile and back off a bit, as they'll bellow the question again.

I was searching for a single world on which to establish a practical science of psychohistory and I was searching for it in the far past, when all the time the single world I wanted was under my feet now.

"The more valued and carefully preserved particular information is, the more long-lasting and accurate it may be."
"The key word is particular' What the book may care to preserve may not be what you wish to have preserved and what a robot may remember best may be what you wish him to remember least."

The least possible simmulation gains in complexity faster than the object being simulated does and eventually the simulation catches up with the phenomenon. Thus, it was established thousands of years ago that the Universe as a whole, in its full complexity, cannot be represented by any simulation smaller than itself.