Ms. Smartarse > Recent Status Updates

"I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to certain things."
"Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"
"Hmmmm," Laura rolled her eyes. "It's been quite a while. Like they say: I tend to have fairytale-like sex - once upon a time."

When you can't fib, but do it anyway...

"You're way off the mark," cleared Laura with a steady voice. "Skipper is still a very good friend, but I've married another man. His name is Daniel. Incidentally, he also works as a vet. That is to say, he's currently retraining. But he's actually already one. A vet, I mean. Sort of."

With my Italian being elementary at best, this should be interesting. Or, ya know, just plain masochistic? 😅
For those wondering: I chose it for the title and the cover design.

How to bait cringe your ex...es:
"Hi, it's me Laura. Remember me? ❤️🙂 You won't believe it, but I've found something really personal of yours during my last cleaning spree. Coincidentally, I'll be coming around these days, so I figured I might as well bring it to you."

Scenarios 5, 6, 7, 8 - end up the same way as 1 or 2, except for the falling out with Eve - ***

Scenario 3 & 4 - same as 1 & 2, but with different verdict - ***

Scenario #1 "option B without question" - ***
Scenario #2 "option B until last second, change of heart" - 3.1* (for slight unexpected result)

Hearing aids and orthopedic shoes are still mocked, but glasses have become fancy. Some people even write their name on the frames, so they don't mix them up at the gym. Such as my ear specials, Dr. Speichel. His first name is actually Ray Ban.

"I've recently been to a funeral where the morticians were in such a hurry, that they would just throw each other the wreaths from the car, to make everything go faster. Very impious, and I thought to myself, Renate you'd better move to the side, lest you mistakenly catch one of those things, and then find that you're the next one to be buried."

People with a grudge against the world are always dangerous. They seem to think life owes them something.

In a town nobody expected to know his neighbour. In the country now nobody knew his neighbour either, though possibly he still thought he did...

Black Fairy Tale - **** 3/4

At first I hated myself for being worthless. But not anymore.
Even if my memory does return, I never want to forget who I am now. I want to always remember how I'm frightened and hurt by the littlest things.
I love who I am now. And I want you to accept me too.

Yuko - *** 1/2

Summer, Fireworks, and My Corpse - ****

We shouldn't postpone things. We should be living in the present.
We should reconcile with one another. Actually, we should've done so yesterday. Or even the day before yesterday.

I go over my day and find that the effort was worth it. Admittedly, I stumbled a bit at the beginning, but then I found a guardian angel and we spent a lovely few hours together.

"I don't want your pity," Martin said, almost a snarl.
"You won't get it," Theo said. "I reserve sentiments of pity entirely for myself."

...we do not have true or ideal perceptions. Instead, we inherit a satisfactory interface with a limited variety of formats - smells, tastes, colors, shapes, sounds, touches and emotions. Our interface evolved to be fast, cheap, and just newsy enough about fitness to enable us to raise our offspring and pass on our genes.

Truth goes extinct because it hunts reality rather than fitness, like a chess player who hunts rooks rather than the king.

What kinds of creatures are we that out beliefs, desires, personalities, and perhaps the destinies of our souls can be split with a scalpel?

"Doom, darkness and destruction bear down on us. The Apocralypse is nigh."
"Death walks abroad," added Nijel helpfully.
"What?" snapped Rincewind, angry at being interrupted.
"I said, Death walks abroad," said Nijel.
"Abroad I don't mind," said Rincewind. "They're all foreigners. It's Death walking around here I'm not looking forward to."

[Rincewind] objected to the fact that you had to be good at magic to be a wizard. He knew he was a wizard, deep in his head. Being good at magic didn't have anything to do with it. That was just extra, it didn't actually define somebody.

I sometimes wish I could start with the words 'It was a day like any other'. Because it sounds so good. But honestly, no day is ever like another. And perhaps it's better this way.

I met up with Gertrude after my doctor's appointment, and as we came home around 11, Kirsten called from the kitchen that she had made Catspacho. Gertrude looked at me scared, and even I was too shocked to say anything. It wasn't until we saw the cat safely saunter from the room, that we dared to breathe again.