Daniel Shellenbarger > Recent Status Updates

There IS a character in this book with whom I readily identify: John Knightley: dislikes socializing, just wants to be at home with his comforts, and hates being dragged along to parties.

Hmmm, Emma doesn't like Mrs. Elton because she's opinionated and snobbish and wants to run everybody's affairs... that sounds awfully familiar... Now I wonder WHO else in this book is like that? WHO!?!!? Do YOU know who it could be EMMA? I'll give you a hint: it's not the interdimensional shapeshifting cosmic horror pianoforte.

Mr. Woodhouse is... an interesting character. He is so one-note in his personality that he's basically a running gag, but he's also such a wet blanket that the gag isn't really that funny a lot of the time. He's like if Marvin the Robot from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was less self-aware, had no sarcastic wit, and thought he was the life of the party.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot, and the Spanish Inquisition! Unfortunately, with her predilection for manipulation and jumping to conclusions, Emma would probably get along swimmingly with them

there are many ways I'd propose improving this book: a murder or two, a sudden French invasion, the discovery that the pianoforte is a shapeshifting monster from another dimension, Emma NOT being a snob for 5 seconds, Mr. Knightley being a time traveler, Harriet realizing Emma has brought her nothing but grief and gunning her down in cold blood, Mr. Martin engaging Mr. Elton in a knife fight on the stone bridge...

I liked Pride and Prejudice, really funny book. Northanger Abbey had moments of brilliance. Sense and Sensibility was not my cup of tea but it WAS interesting, but Emma... it's odd, I don't hate any characters, the writing is very witty, and I don't really know how the story ends (though I can make some educated guesses), but I find myself struggling to make any progress.

Honestly, I'm having a hard time getting back into this. Sure, it's a classic of literature, but... the book I just finished had thrilling firefights, sinister witchcraft, and political intrigue... Emma has people gossiping in parlors. Witty clever dialog, sure, but prove to me that Mr. Elton proving to be a Genestealer and Emma having to kill him with a penknife wouldn't have made it a better book. You can't.

"You are very fond of bending little minds" Oh, is that right EMMA, Mr. Knightley is the one bending little minds, is he? The level of self-delusion at work here is simple astonishing. Mr. Knightley is pretty much the ONLY character in the book she's not trying to manipulate (because he's too smart for it). I summon the Kryptonian Literature Crimes Council! Let her be judged guilty and thrown into a space triangle!

Ok, so I'll give Emma this in her defense: she lives with a crazy person with whom emotional manipulation is practically self-defense given her father's obsession with gloomy hypochondria and obsession with the idea that true joy can only be found by remaining in his sight at all times. In her shoes, I'm pretty sure I'd go mad.

"I stand by what I said, you would've done well in Slitherin, Emma"

Emma missed her calling, she should've been a top-notch Handler for the KGB or Gestapo running a ring of covert agents with her skill at psychological/emotional manipulation without the slightest self-doubt or moral compunction. Oh man, World War 2-set remake of this with Mr. Knightley as an MI-5 counter-intelligence agent determined to bring her down. Ends with a hanging instead of a wedding. That could be great.

No I didn't just read 19% of the book in 5 seconds, I remembered that these ebooks always have previews of the next book at the end so a quick calculation put the number right