Status Updates From Berlin by Night

Finally this is over. They actually put the same map of Europe from the beginning into the end. Did they think readers would be too stupid/lazy to just go back and look at the first one? Or at an actual map...

First this uninspired and idiotci ascencion of Caine story, with the actual Caine, and now they say that every animal could be a vampire? Since when? Was that some dumb early idea they had? If not their other books should be full of them, instead of simple animal ghouls.

Ok, I am sure this picture with the cobra around the ankh, the eyes in the sky and the shadowy figure refers to the Setite vampires. And I think the building in the background is supposed to be Gedaechtniskirche, Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, in that case the artwoork is pretty sloppy.

Wouldn't it be smarter to have those freaks under Teufelsberg have some influence in the city as well and not just the usual vampires in torpor? Well not in this book as it seems.

Or maybe it was some other building, but still it makes no sense.

Since the writing is idiotic anyway, I decided to skip ahead and examine the art and currently I see several vampires on what, based on the background, might be the church at Alexander Platz, but if yes the proportions do not fit and no other building in the area and from that angle would provide such a scenery.

The spelling errors are atrocious, the characters bland, cliche and uninteresting and now I of course have to see a picture with a Neonazi skinhead. Great. Has the author spend any effort on this? The book doesn't even make sense within itelf.

Why is a german vampire from 1910 called Daryl? Plus Grunewald is not entirely a preserve.
Also, again, the german sucks: they translate "bats" with "Fleidermaus" but the correct translation is "Fledermaeuse." And why are the Malkavians called that anyway?

Ok, so this vampire here, embraced in 1969 apparently, thought all the foreign trash had to go from Berlin... hey idiot: BACK THEN YOU NEEDED CONTRACT WORKERS!!! Seriously why did the author think these stereotypes are a good idea?
Plus when reading how this other vampire here messily drained a mortal in an alley... I seriously cannot think of a single one where that would work over here.

That the leader of the Final Reich Dietar was when he was 15 taller than most full growns in his area despite growing up in the Great Depression is so hard to believe that I doubt the author knew what he was talking about. And of course as a Nazi vampire he must be "powerful built blond giant with cold blue eyes"... yeah, is there any German cliche that these authors do not use?

So those mystical wards against vampires are actually alarmsystems instead of wards? Or are they simply not functioning the same way? This book is confusing.
Anyway, I skipped a few pages to see whether they at least get the vampires right and considered the art on the first chapter page I might be in for some agony.

Well at ´least that the neaness to the zoo apparently created some strange looking Gangrel vampires there (they gain animal features over time) is a nice little element. Credigt where its due.
The problem is that the zoo is called Zoologischer Garten Berlin, "Tierpark" is the other zoo of Berlin in Friedrichshain.
Also considered the size of Tiergarten Park you would think they have some Gangrel there as well.

Spandau Citadel is "secluded enough" for the Sabbat to have their rights? No idea whether it was a tourist location back then as well, but its next to a busy street, constant buildings around and it is on a busy waterway.
IT IS STEGLITZ AND NOT STERGLITZ YOU IDIOTS!!!
Ok, my rant about the wards around Tegel was misguided but the one about Tempelhof is not: why can the magical wards beaten by a plane?

"Pfaueninsel" (peacock island" is not in Neukoelln you morons, its in Wannsee, which is the cities southern-western most part. Neukoelln is in the south-east. What moron edited this?
This can't be real. Now the say vampires come via Tegel airport. How do these magical wards work? Are they a bubble around westberlin? Are they just magical walls?

And maybe "Brandenburg Quarter" is "Maerkisches Viertel".

Oh great, now they are at the Berlin Museum in Kreuzberg, which was closed when this book was published...maybe they should have waited 2-3 years before writing about this particular city.

Oh apparently the sentence "Substantial numbers of other foreign families also live in the area" seems to count for something... pfff
And the Final Reich trying to drive the foreigners away... again: bad for economy.

Grunewald district does not entirely consist of forest you idiots. Plus where would a sacred werewolf place even be there? The forest is constantly visited by people.

You have to be kidding me. How could I have missed this the first time I read this book: They just said that the Nazis did genetic experiments on undead vampires. Vampirism is a curse in this universe, it has nothing to do with genes!!!

I don't care whether at the time there were riots against "racial impurities" in Berlin at the time, I doubt it, trust me considered what happened in Rostock '92 it would have been mentioned. Either way, saying on Kurfuerstendamm riots regularly break out is idiotic even within this darker universe. It is, as they say, "West Berlin's best know shopping strip" and a tourist location. This would be bad for business!!!

Plus, of course for Germans only that Soviet memorial is a reason for strong memories because of Soviet occupation.... how can I say it: the "western" powers occupied Germany too.

Oh great and another picture featuring the letters Hitler, Communism, Berlin and a smoking guy in black... he is surely evil.

In what way is Charlottenburg "best compared to Manhattan with a twist of Washington DC on the side"?

Ok, now we have the picture of a woman with long nails and a swastika pendant in her hand... wow, a so far bad game book about horror in Germany and it has... Nazis? Yeah that is so original and creative.
And why would Nosferatu vampires, the clan practicaslly having the monopoly on information avoid several districts of Berlin?
Plus if you say occult vampires are meeting often in an observatory: GIVE US A REASON!

Ok since I saw "The Arsenal" again on this map of East Berlin I think I finally found what building they are talking about. I saw it several times and no wonder I didn't make a connection since today its called "Zeughaus". Actually I think it must have been called that way ever since its rebuilding starting in the late 1940s. First the alleged "Berlin Palace" (destroyed in WWII) and now this? Who chose the buildings?

Did they spend any effort on this? Names of "german characters" tend to be used because they sound "cool" or "german," the geography of Berlin is screwed up, the map of it is wrong, names got mispelled and I sometimes have no idea what buildings they are talking about. And for all my followers who might be of Vietnamese ancestry: they erased you from the history of my country and replaced you with Pakistanis.