Status Updates From Księga niepokoju

His loneliness, his depression, his stagnation and his deep thoughts are reaching the darkest parts of my hearts as if I can so easily relate to that pain he feels. I ask myself “why?” and it hits me: I’ve been through that feeling of solitude and despair.

If one day I were to achieve a power of expression so great as to concentrate all art in me, I would write an apotheosis of sleep. I know of no greater pleasure in the whole of life than that of sleep. The wholesale blotting out of life and soul, the complete removal of all other beings, all other people, a night without memory or illusion, possessed of neither past nor future...

I have to choose what I detest - either dreaming, which my intelligence hates, or action, which my sensibility loathes; either action, for which I wasn't born, or dreaming, for which no one was born.
Detesting both, I choose neither; but since I must on occasion either dream or act, I mix the two things together.