Catherine

“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.

Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”

“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”

“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

“Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

“Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

“...To be honest, I'd be the last person who should be doling out gardeinng advice. I don't have the patience for growing things. Yes, I realize there's nothing quite as satisfying as eating food that you've pulled up from the ground and that's why, at the height of the planting season, I bury cans of tomato soup in my backyard and dig them up in late spring.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...