Morvan

“the lost sequence in a life, they say, is the thing we always search out”
― Michael Ondaatje, Warlight

“I suppose we choose whatever life we feel safest in;”
― Michael Ondaatje, Warlight

“Where is it written that lives should have a meaning?”
― Elena Ferrante, The Story of the Lost Child

“Mahler put the word schwer beside certain passages in his musical scores. Meaning “difficult.” “Heavy.” We were told this at some point by The Moth, as if it was a warning. He said we needed to prepare for such moments in order to deal with them efficiently, in case we suddenly had to take control of our wits. Those times exist for all of us, he kept saying. Just as no score relies on only one pitch or level of effort from musicians in the orchestra. Sometimes it relies on silence. It was a strange warning to be given, to accept that nothing was safe anymore. “ ‘Schwer,’ ” he’d say, with his fingers gesturing the inverted commas, and we’d mouth the word and then the translation, or simply nod in weary recognition. My sister and I got used to parroting the word back to each other—“schwer.”
― Michael Ondaatje, Warlight