Douglas Hackle

“Though completely irrelevant to the story, seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds later, every instance of the word “the” that appeared in this chapter transmogrified into a tiny, blue, pineapple-headed bat that flew away to France to start a brand new life even though they all hated France (except for French fries, guillotines, and that place in France where the naked ladies dance). Regarding the latter, apparently there’s a hole in the wall where tiny, blue, pineapple-headed bats can see it all.”
― Douglas Hackle, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

“King Kranlin became dizzily aware that day was now indiscernible from night, that selfness was essentially the same as otherness, that all things had become nothing, and that nothing had become everything.
“What’s happening to me?” he croaked.
“I shot you with my deconstruction pistol,” King Derridap said. “An invisible différance-bullet has pierced that well-fed belly of yours. You’re deconstructing.”
― Douglas Hackle, Clown Tear Junkies