Eileen

“Hey--jazz hands!" Kenji barks. "Get your ass back over here." He makes it a point to look as irritated as possible. "Back to work. And this time, focus. You're not an ape. Don't just throw your shit everywhere.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

“Why Do People become Shadowhunters, by Magnus Bane
This Codex thing is very silly. Downworlders talk about the Codex like it is some great secret full of esoteric knowledge, but really itès a Boy Scout manual.
One thing that it mysteriously doesnèt address is why people become Shadowhunters. And you should know that people become Shadowhunters for many stupid reasons.
So here is an addition to your copy.
Greetings, aspiring young Shadowhunter-to-be- or possibly already technically a Shadowhunter. I canèt remember whether you drink from the Cup first or get the book first. Regardless, you have just been recruited by the Monster Police. You may be wondering, why? Why of all the mundanes out there was I selected and invited to this exclusive club made up largely, at least from a historical perspective, of murderous psychopaths?
Possible Reasons Why
1. You possess a stout heart, strong will, and able body.
2. You possess a stout body, able will, and strong heart.
3. Local Shadowhunters are ironically punishing you by making you join them.
4. You were recruited by a local institute to join the Nephilim as an ironic punishment for your mistreatment of Downworlders.
5. Your home , village, or nation is under siege by demons.
6. You home, village, or nation is under siege by rogue Downworlders.
7. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
8.You know too much, and should be recruited because the secrecy of the Shadow World has already been compromised for you.
9. You know too little; it would be helpful to the Shadowhunters if you knew more.
10. You know exactly the right amount, making you a natural recruit.
11. You possess a natural resistance to glamour magic and must be recruited to keep you quiet and provide you with some basic protection.
12. You have a compound last name already and have convinced someone important that yours is a Shadowhunter family and the Shadowhunteriness has just been weakened by generations of bad breeding.
13. You had a torrid affair with a member of the Nephilim council and now he's trying to cover his tracks.
14. Shadowhunters are concerned they are no longer haughty and condescending enough-have sought you out to add a much needed boost of haughty condescension.
15. You have been bitten by a radioactive Shadowhunter, giving you the proportional strength and speed of a Shadowhunter.
16. Large bearded man on flying motorcycle appeared to take you away to Shadowhunting school.
17. Your mom has been in hiding from your evil dad, and you found out you're a Shadowhunter only a few weeks ago.
That's right. Seventeen reasons. Because that's how many I came up with. Now run off, little Shadowhunter, and learn how to murder things. And be nice to Downworlders.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter's Codex

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple. With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.”
― Jenny Joseph, Warning: When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

“I liked beginnings better than endings.”
― Kim Harrison, The Witch With No Name