This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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I hate who ever the hell came up with this:

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The Crimson Fucker (feanor01) http://io9.com/5129674/at-last-scienc...

the fuck! Is wrong with people!!! What happen with the good old fashion sock/wet tower/cocoa butter or even a good ripe papaya!!! The friend who pass me the link even ask me if I could imagine the lab tests for the device…. And no, I cant!! I can’t see no sane person putting his unit on that meat grinder look alike diabolic thing!!! A synthetic vagina…. The fuck is wrong with people!!! Seriously!!! When I read the first piece of news saying that some dude lost his unit on a terrible synthetic vagina accident i’ma point and laugh and scream I told you mother fuckers!!! Never put your dick on nothing more complicated than a piece of cloth!



message 2: by Gus (new)

Gus Sanchez (gussanchez) Cocoa butter? Ripe papaya?

Man, we need to find you a woman.


message 3: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Did you watch the video?


Servius  Heiner I will have to wait until after work to click on that link fiz.

But I will share my thoughts on “where to stick it”

In my Opinion you are severely limiting yourself, and setting yourself up for a lonely life. If you haven’t noticed women can be very complicated. Personally I enjoy that part of a woman so I will continue to put it there as long as they will let me.


P.S. you are a sick sick man; papaya really!



message 5: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Yeah, I'd like to state, for the record, that women's bodies are more complicated than pieces of cloth. And smokin' hotter, too!


message 6: by Gus (new)

Gus Sanchez (gussanchez) The same men who would use this robot vagina are probably the same men who use the Fleshlight.

Meh.

I need some skin, flesh and bones to hold onto when my meat hammer works its' wonders.


message 7: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Well, Gus, not everyone has the privilege of having his very own skin, flesh, and bones woman around. You're lucky!


message 8: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Jan 14, 2009 11:48AM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker (feanor01) Look any man that says: oh I only fuck with my girlfriend/goat/wife… I don't masturbate…. Is talking bull shit! You can’t be getting pussy twice a day for all I care and you still going to choke the chicken…. All I’m saying is that when I comes to stuff besides a woman to fuck with… I like to keep it simple and natural =) that’s all I’m saying!


message 9: by Servius Heiner (last edited Jan 14, 2009 11:51AM) (new)

Servius  Heiner I agree with you 97% of the time Amanda. One can usually find an attractive and flattering attribute in just about any woman... except for those militant fem Nazi's their pretty much on their own.

Guys on the other hand... I don't know, I think all hetro females are insane. Guys are bulky hairy, and tend to make odd noises. Even when were in shape; were still an acquired taste.


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

I think guys are rather nice.


Servius  Heiner I think that supports my point more then the rest of these folk know tambo.


The Crimson Fucker (feanor01) Ok… I don’t know if this is one of the signs of the apocalypses but I agree with nick =) I’ve never been able to understand why all females are not lesbians =) I mean thank google they are not… but you know compare to the female anatomy the male one is in some serious need for upgrades… I mean esthetic… cuz in everything else the male bodies are better adapted than females…


The Crimson Fucker (feanor01) guahahahha nick just called you crazy tambo!!!


message 14: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Not everything else. There was this one time that...
Uh... Never mind.


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

It's just biology. I hate when people say that, but it's true. We're attracted to men for propagation purposes! And cause they're strong. And have scratchy faces.


message 16: by Tracy (new)

Tracy i also think it has something to do with the tallness and the big shoulders and deep, soothing voices...

i actually think men are quite aesthetic in general. also, there are moments when i just get jealous how little effort men have to put into keeping everything intact and where it should be as they age. we, on the other hand, have to go through all sorts of interventions to make sure everything stays where we want it to.

and i agree with alfonso on #8. ridiculous.


message 17: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) I agree that men are quite aesthetic in general. Holla! :)


Servius  Heiner So I assert again that you are nuts. Culprit for this insanity might be tofu, or soy. So watch yourself and eat some red meat, maybe then you will switch teams sorta speak.


message 19: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 14, 2009 01:46PM) (new)

Forsake tofu? Nevah!


message 20: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Wait a sec, I don't need to switch teams to "eat meat"



EW! I just grossed myself out!


message 21: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) I don't eat much tofu. Women aren't supposed to have a lot of soy. Screws with our hormones or something... :(
But DAMN it is delicious!


message 22: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) He just wants access to more girl-on-girl action.
Whatev. That's what the internet is for.


I'll continue to dig dudes in real life. After all, we can't help the way we were born.


Servius  Heiner Nope their nuts KD. I never said I was upset that they were nuts mind you, and I will reap the benefits of their insanity as long and often as I can.


Servius  Heiner Amanda eats meat!


message 25: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) She don't eat meat but she sho' like the bone?


message 26: by Lori (new)

Lori A CAKE MIXER is being compared to the female VJ???? So guys like to get their penis beat, mashed, whirred with a bit of GRIND mixed in? Hey, let's just puree the beast and be done with it!


message 27: by Donitello (new)

Donitello Alfonso wrote: "Ok… I don’t know if this is one of the signs of the apocalypses but I agree with nick =) I’ve never been able to understand why all females are not lesbians =) I mean thank google they are not… but..."

Okay, here is something I wrote years ago, and I quite liked it. It was called "Every Man Wonders," or something like that. You just brought it to mind. Sorry if posting this seems like the most obnoxious solipsism, but if so I can take the hate....


LIGHTS DOWN. READY SPOT.

MUSIC: SEXY JAZZ BASS AND SAX.

(SPOT HITS WOMAN, ENTERING WITH SENSUOUS WALK, WEARING FABULOUS EVENING GOWN, RHINESTONES, HAIR UP. REMOVES BOA FROM COAT RACK, FLINGS IT ACROSS HER SHOULDERS. MOVES TOWARD LOVESEAT.)

WOMAN: Every man secretly wonders what it must be like to be a woman. (MUSIC RIFF) To actaully feel at home in mascara... And diamonds... Exotic gowns... Three-inch heels...

Some men even try it for themselves.

For those that haven't, I'll let you in on a secret: What you always suspected is true --

(VOGUE, LANGUIDLY) -- It's fun.

MUSIC RIFF

Even recognizing the problems inherent in female objectification... It's a wild feeling to know that with so little effort -- relatively -- a touch of red... A wisp of something sheer... You can turn every eye in a room... On yourself. It's otherworldly.

(MOVES AGAIN) Every man wonders secretly how he could ever evoke half the response. In his most beautiful tuxedo, with the best formed chest and most shapely shoulders in the world...

(SITS ON LOVESEAT, VOGUES)

... Can't touch this.

In his most secret mind, he wonders how, looking the way we can, we could truly find him attractive.

(RUNS HAND DOWN SHOULDER)

Why aren't we all lesbians? He knows he would be....

MUSIC RIFF

(RECLINES ON COUCH) But men don't realize that we're fascinated -- fascinated -- with those square feet and big hands... and all that body hair. The brutishness, even in the smallest man, not only of the construct of his body, but of his ways. Compared to us, he sprawls. He appropriates space. His voice carries through a restaurant. He emerges from the bathroom zipping up....

(SMALL RIFF)

All of this shows a sort of unstudied elan that we can't quite comprehend, much less emulate -- no, the eyes of the world are too much on us for that. And so we watch you appropriate your space, and make your noises... And lust after our body parts. We admire in you a part of ourselves largely unrealized....

When you push toward us, we recoil. But what can we expect, either of us? Will it ever be different?

(SUDDENLY TURNING AWAY, CURLS UP IN SETTEE. ARMS WRAP AROUND SELF COYLY. VOICE BECOMES TEASINGLY QUERULOUS)

Don’t do that! You’re disgusting....

(SULKY PAUSE. PEEPS BACK OVER SHOULDER)

Chase me.

(HER EYES REMAIN FIXED ON AUDIENCE. THEY BEGIN TO TWINKLE UNTIL IT SEEMS SHE CAN HARDLY CONTAIN HERSELF.)

LIGHTS: BLACKOUT





message 28: by Annie (new)

Annie (angelannie) so if he doesn't pull out does he get electrocuted?


message 29: by Daniel (new)

Daniel I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.


message 30: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Thank you Mr. Brockman.


message 31: by Donitello (new)

Donitello Didn't speak to you, huh? I really thought it might. Oh well. Not the first time my stuff didn't produce epiphany.


message 32: by Havocvoodoo (new)

Havocvoodoo (wwwgoodreadscomprofilehavocvoodo) When I saw the picture, I thought "there's no way in hell anyone would actually use that thing!". Then, I watched the video.

Nope. Still seems like sticking your penis in a clothes press or some equally cringe inducing machine.


message 33: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Havocvoodoo wrote: "When I saw the picture, I thought "there's no way in hell anyone would actually use that thing!". Then, I watched the video.

Nope. Still seems like sticking your penis in a clothes press or som..."


I've already ordered mine.

I wanted to make an Asian joke but thought it was too easy.




message 34: by Havocvoodoo (new)

Havocvoodoo (wwwgoodreadscomprofilehavocvoodo) Daniel, let us know when you get yours. I'm sure we're all curious as to how it really works.

Oh, and any volunteers to drive Daniel to the emergency room after he tries it? ;)


message 35: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Havocvoodoo wrote: "Daniel, let us know when you get yours. I'm sure we're all curious as to how it really works.

Oh, and any volunteers to drive Daniel to the emergency room after he tries it? ;)"


I expect my peen to look like a panini once i'm done. Mmmmm panini's!



message 36: by [deleted user] (new)

"I expect my peen to look like a panini once i'm done. Mmmmm panini's!"

Oh sure, it will look like a panini. Way to lay the groundwork my friend!!


message 37: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 16, 2009 03:24PM) (new)

p,s, if anyone wants to know...Dan's peen actually looks like a Carne Asada burrito..(*private note to Dan* At last! a new twist on "Look there's the Carne Asada I ate earlier!!"


message 38: by Daniel (new)

Daniel and further more you will have to pry my cold hard electronic vagina from my cold dead hands!

ps all of us mexicans have weiners shaped like burritos. Just like asian ween is shaped like tentacles! It's only science!

i still don't get why women like men either but whatever it's their loss and my gain!


message 39: by Havocvoodoo (new)

Havocvoodoo (wwwgoodreadscomprofilehavocvoodo) we women like you men because of the, uh, well...hang on, I'm thinking...


message 40: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Hey, now...


message 41: by Lori (new)

Lori I bet the men are still hanging on...


message 42: by Havocvoodoo (new)

Havocvoodoo (wwwgoodreadscomprofilehavocvoodo) ...still thinking...


message 43: by David (new)

David Sex pot, flesh bot, life enriching, hilarious. Heads up for the autonomous wang wringing machine!


message 44: by Tracy (new)

Tracy http://www.straightdope.com/columns/r...

anything is better than that.



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