This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I hate who ever the hell came up with this:
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But I will share my thoughts on “where to stick it”
In my Opinion you are severely limiting yourself, and setting yourself up for a lonely life. If you haven’t noticed women can be very complicated. Personally I enjoy that part of a woman so I will continue to put it there as long as they will let me.
P.S. you are a sick sick man; papaya really!


Meh.
I need some skin, flesh and bones to hold onto when my meat hammer works its' wonders.



Guys on the other hand... I don't know, I think all hetro females are insane. Guys are bulky hairy, and tend to make odd noises. Even when were in shape; were still an acquired taste.
I think guys are rather nice.

It's just biology. I hate when people say that, but it's true. We're attracted to men for propagation purposes! And cause they're strong. And have scratchy faces.

i actually think men are quite aesthetic in general. also, there are moments when i just get jealous how little effort men have to put into keeping everything intact and where it should be as they age. we, on the other hand, have to go through all sorts of interventions to make sure everything stays where we want it to.
and i agree with alfonso on #8. ridiculous.

Forsake tofu? Nevah!

But DAMN it is delicious!

Whatev. That's what the internet is for.
I'll continue to dig dudes in real life. After all, we can't help the way we were born.



Okay, here is something I wrote years ago, and I quite liked it. It was called "Every Man Wonders," or something like that. You just brought it to mind. Sorry if posting this seems like the most obnoxious solipsism, but if so I can take the hate....
LIGHTS DOWN. READY SPOT.
MUSIC: SEXY JAZZ BASS AND SAX.
(SPOT HITS WOMAN, ENTERING WITH SENSUOUS WALK, WEARING FABULOUS EVENING GOWN, RHINESTONES, HAIR UP. REMOVES BOA FROM COAT RACK, FLINGS IT ACROSS HER SHOULDERS. MOVES TOWARD LOVESEAT.)
WOMAN: Every man secretly wonders what it must be like to be a woman. (MUSIC RIFF) To actaully feel at home in mascara... And diamonds... Exotic gowns... Three-inch heels...
Some men even try it for themselves.
For those that haven't, I'll let you in on a secret: What you always suspected is true --
(VOGUE, LANGUIDLY) -- It's fun.
MUSIC RIFF
Even recognizing the problems inherent in female objectification... It's a wild feeling to know that with so little effort -- relatively -- a touch of red... A wisp of something sheer... You can turn every eye in a room... On yourself. It's otherworldly.
(MOVES AGAIN) Every man wonders secretly how he could ever evoke half the response. In his most beautiful tuxedo, with the best formed chest and most shapely shoulders in the world...
(SITS ON LOVESEAT, VOGUES)
... Can't touch this.
In his most secret mind, he wonders how, looking the way we can, we could truly find him attractive.
(RUNS HAND DOWN SHOULDER)
Why aren't we all lesbians? He knows he would be....
MUSIC RIFF
(RECLINES ON COUCH) But men don't realize that we're fascinated -- fascinated -- with those square feet and big hands... and all that body hair. The brutishness, even in the smallest man, not only of the construct of his body, but of his ways. Compared to us, he sprawls. He appropriates space. His voice carries through a restaurant. He emerges from the bathroom zipping up....
(SMALL RIFF)
All of this shows a sort of unstudied elan that we can't quite comprehend, much less emulate -- no, the eyes of the world are too much on us for that. And so we watch you appropriate your space, and make your noises... And lust after our body parts. We admire in you a part of ourselves largely unrealized....
When you push toward us, we recoil. But what can we expect, either of us? Will it ever be different?
(SUDDENLY TURNING AWAY, CURLS UP IN SETTEE. ARMS WRAP AROUND SELF COYLY. VOICE BECOMES TEASINGLY QUERULOUS)
Don’t do that! You’re disgusting....
(SULKY PAUSE. PEEPS BACK OVER SHOULDER)
Chase me.
(HER EYES REMAIN FIXED ON AUDIENCE. THEY BEGIN TO TWINKLE UNTIL IT SEEMS SHE CAN HARDLY CONTAIN HERSELF.)
LIGHTS: BLACKOUT


Nope. Still seems like sticking your penis in a clothes press or some equally cringe inducing machine.

Nope. Still seems like sticking your penis in a clothes press or som..."
I've already ordered mine.
I wanted to make an Asian joke but thought it was too easy.

Oh, and any volunteers to drive Daniel to the emergency room after he tries it? ;)

Oh, and any volunteers to drive Daniel to the emergency room after he tries it? ;)"
I expect my peen to look like a panini once i'm done. Mmmmm panini's!
"I expect my peen to look like a panini once i'm done. Mmmmm panini's!"
Oh sure, it will look like a panini. Way to lay the groundwork my friend!!
Oh sure, it will look like a panini. Way to lay the groundwork my friend!!
p,s, if anyone wants to know...Dan's peen actually looks like a Carne Asada burrito..(*private note to Dan* At last! a new twist on "Look there's the Carne Asada I ate earlier!!"

ps all of us mexicans have weiners shaped like burritos. Just like asian ween is shaped like tentacles! It's only science!
i still don't get why women like men either but whatever it's their loss and my gain!
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the fuck! Is wrong with people!!! What happen with the good old fashion sock/wet tower/cocoa butter or even a good ripe papaya!!! The friend who pass me the link even ask me if I could imagine the lab tests for the device…. And no, I cant!! I can’t see no sane person putting his unit on that meat grinder look alike diabolic thing!!! A synthetic vagina…. The fuck is wrong with people!!! Seriously!!! When I read the first piece of news saying that some dude lost his unit on a terrible synthetic vagina accident i’ma point and laugh and scream I told you mother fuckers!!! Never put your dick on nothing more complicated than a piece of cloth!