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[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

happy wrote: "Alton Brown of Good Eats/Cooking Channel fame is on tour and stopped in Salt Lake last Friday. Good show, and he is funny!

Made a gallon of chocolate ice cream in 10 seconds using a CO2 fire exti..."

not familiar with this cook. Is he a heston Blumenthal type cook. Doing whacky things with food?

[Dawn]

I have to say that I've never really thought of Alton Brown as a chef or cook.
I know him as the host of the American Iron Chef show.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Announcement
(I know, you are all groaning saying "oh here we go, another one of Terri's announcements, this can't be good..:)..)

I am seriously thinking about leaving Goodreads.
I am not sure how to do it. I have over 400 reviews on Goodreads. I will have to look into how I can leave Goodreads and leave my reviews behind. As that is a lot of years worth of work there.

And, with nearly 17,000 comments here in A&M I promise if I go that I will not click that button on the way out that means all comments on GR will be deleted.
Taking all my comments would kill this book group, so I would never do that in a million years.

Currently, an author has started a smear campaign against me because I moderated her in the "Looking for a Book About.." Folder yesterday.
I received a very personally insulting private message from her and she has posted a blog post on her Goodreads profile singling me out for public ridicule by her Goodreads friends.

The sickening thing to me about it, is that she is not telling the truth in that blog post. It is a very manipulative piece of writing.

If I had deserved it, then I would be okay. If I had been this person she is telling the Goodreads community that I am, then I would accept the smear campaign. But all I did was tell an author that they can't set up a thread for non fiction books to help them with their writing project in the "Looking for a Book About..." Folder.

It is not my fault that she is in so many groups and she doesn't keep track of each groups individual author posting guidelines. And yet somehow that is my fault also.

So why would I let this one public shaming drive me off Goodreads?

It is too much. There is something incredibly personal about someone singling you out by name, and singling out the group you have put years of your life into, to intentionally bring them ill will.
To undermine the book group and to put a target on my back with all her Goodreads followers and friends.

This has happened to me before, because I gave an author a three star review, and it was not a nice experience.

I put many, many hours every week all year round, into this group. I gain nothing from it but satisfaction that I am helping people find books to read and maybe helping a few lonely people find some new friends or something to help them feel less lonely.
It is all volunteer. I don't get paid for it. It is a love job.
Despite all that, I get abused like you would never imagine in private messages at least once a month.
99.9% of the time it is by self pub and Indie authors who don't like being moderated in this group. They don't like that authors should be here as readers and lovers of the genre only.

I can handle the abuse in private messages. Most of the time I just ignore them and flag them to Goodreads staff. But when someone does what this author has done, and has a personal attack on me in public and encourages others to also hate on me and A&M. That is too much.
As a volunteer on this site, that is too much and way too personal.

I have reported the whole thing to Goodreads themselves, but I know they won't take action.

I promise I won't disappear over night. If I go it will be gradual. I'll make sure to say goodbye and I'll try and make the transition out as smooth as possible. As that is the best thing for this book group. After all the years I spent on this group I would not want to destroy it on the way out.

Kind regards to you all,
Terri

[Edward]

Terri wrote: "Announcement
(I know, you are all groaning saying "oh here we go, another one of Terri's announcements, this can't be good..:)..)

I am seriously thinking about leaving Goodreads.
I am not sure how..."

Terri please stay, I'm sure there are many others here that stand by you, I do, and I think you do an excellent job at making this group a pleasant experience. :)

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Thanks Edward and Timothy. There are so many kind people in this group. That everybody is so nice to each other in here always makes me so bloody proud.

[Margaret, Sherlockian Sheila]

Terri, please stay. Good Reads should remove the author for her vicious attack.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Hi mate. They won't. I know in my gut they won't. Which is really why I am considering this might be the straw that broke the donkeys back.
If I had heard back from them and if they had said they won't do anything, then I'd be gone already.
Currently waiting to hear back and to hear what action they will take. Or what action they won't take.

[Ace]

You should stay Terri. The author should leave you alone. Where would they be without readers? Stay strong.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Lovely of you to say, Ace. Staying strong right now..sort of.....

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

For the record. So people can make up their own mind on whether my moderation of this author was nasty, this is the thread in question: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I posted a big post in there today to state the facts about what had happened after I moderated her, because when I tried to stae the truth in a comment on this person's Goodreads blog post, she would just delete it.
I had to clear my name somewhere, so I did it there.

[Robin]

Terri, as a frequent lurker in the group, I can attest to the fact that your contribution to A&M makes this group one of GR's best groups. The number of comments on this thread alone tells you how much people love the group. I'm sorry to hear that your dedication to the group has lead to the unwarranted and unnecessarily personal attack from a person who should know better! Hang in there Terri!

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Thanks, Robin. I will try and hang in there! promise.
Thankyou for coming out of lurking. :)

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Just a reminder though folks. I promise I won't vanish overnight. I'll take a few days for goodbyes etc...

And I'll still do the A&M Blog. So I'll still be around in the broader hist fic world.

[Jane]

Terri, please don't leave us. Don't let that miserable person affect you; you're a much bigger person than she. Your love for this group shines through and we love you too.

[Margaret, Sherlockian Sheila]

Terri wrote: "Hi mate. They won't. I know in my gut they won't. Which is really why I am considering this might be the straw that broke the donkeys back.
If I had heard back from them and if they had said they w..."

I have flagged the blog post. I added that I considered it an attack on another member.

[Ace]

That author, even tho' she's left this group is still in a staggering 38 other groups. God help those moderators.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Jane wrote: "Terri, please don't leave us. Don't let that miserable person affect you; you're a much bigger person than she. Your love for this group shines through and we love you too."


Thanks Jane.
Man, I feel so guilty for announcing my intentions, but I had to do it. I couldn't just drop this in everybody's laps the day I go...if I go that is..which I think is dependent on how GR handle the whole thing.

[Jane]

Is maybe the best thing to just ignore her as though she doesn't exist? If everyone in EVERY group she's in would just freeze her out....
I'm glad you did give us an inkling of your intentions.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Ace wrote: "That author, even tho' she's left this group is still in a staggering 38 other groups. God help those moderators."

I saw that. You'd be surprised at the amount of times authors have a go at me for moderating them because "how am I supposed to remember every single rule in every single group."

Astounds me. Firstly, maybe they shouldn't be in so many groups if they don't want that many author posting rules to follow.

[Ace]

Terri wrote: "Ace wrote: "That author, even tho' she's left this group is still in a staggering 38 other groups. God help those moderators."

I saw that. You'd be surprised at the amount of times authors have a ..."

Exactly!!

[Jane]

I only belong to several groups -- mainly A&M, though -- wouldn't the guidelines be pretty similar for each group?

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Jane wrote: "Is maybe the best thing to just ignore her as though she doesn't exist? If everyone in EVERY group she's in would just freeze her out....
I'm glad you did give us an inkling of your intentions."

I think, from when I looked at her groups yesterday, that she is mostly in Self pub/indie groups.
i don't want to label self pub and Indie authors as bad eggs or anything. We have so many wonderful members here who are self published, but I have to admit, she is moving in a world there where she will get more support than criticism for her negative behaviour. Especially given the victim type tone she has used in her blog post, as if she has done nothing wrong and I was the big bad anti author wolf.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Jane wrote: "I only belong to several groups -- mainly A&M, though -- wouldn't the guidelines be pretty similar for each group?"


pretty much similar I'd say, yes. But most group author posting rules are a working document I guess you could say.
Evolving with the activities of authors in groups.

I brought in the *authors don't do your research here
because we were having authors asking leading questions of our reader members in thread, for their research, and then all the authors would pile in and the discussions would become all about authors talking to each other about writing. Which is not what this group is here for.
There are a hundred groups out there where authors can converse with each other. Groups where they aren't elbowing reader discussions out of the way.

[Jane]

Terri wrote: "Jane wrote: "I only belong to several groups -- mainly A&M, though -- wouldn't the guidelines be pretty similar for each group?"


pretty much similar I'd say, yes. But most group author posting ru..."

Right. I'd expect author-oriented groups would be somewhat different. And A&M is READER-oriented.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Precisely.
if authors are here, they need to be here as readers. As soon as they start being active as an author, they need to reread our Author Posting Guidelines, or ask me, so that they show respect to that working document.

[Robin]

I really don't get why a friendly warning would get blown out of proportion! You were only doing your best as a mod, you would have posted the same warning if a different author had done the same thing, so it's not like you were specifically targeting her.

[Carol]

Hang in there Terri. We appreciate your efforts and enjoy the interactions we have regarding the books that crop up here. I am sorry that people feel the need to be so angry. Whatever you do I will respect your decision, but I sincerely hope you reconsider. You did nothing wrong.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Thanks guys.

The whole thing is just so bizarre.

[Lia]

Terri, please don't leave us. If you do, then she will accomplish her main purpose, and she will brag about it all over the place.

I read the post when you tried to remind her about the author posting rules, and didn't see anything wrong with what you said.

[Jane]

Terri, you were very tactful and you were a lady in your response. I also saw nothing untoward.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Thanks Jane and Lia. Sometimes with authors there is no way to say, "I've had to delete/lock for this reason, can you please reread our rules" without them getting their knickers in a knot.

but the thing is..if they respected that we were a readers group and made sure they knew our author posting rules, they would never get any posts deleted or topics locked. Simple as that!

*pulls hair out*

[Jane]

Gosh, we have our Bryn, C.P., Gordon, Nick, Ben, and other authors who realize and respect that this is a forum for READERS.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

I could add twenty more to that list off the top of my head. There are active members of this group that most people wouldn't even realise are authors, because that's not why they are here. They are here to read with us because they like to read the genre too.

In that very folder that Libby Hawker started her trouble in (she is the author of this book by the way The Sekhmet Bed) another author, much more famous than Libby Hawker, asked for book recommendations not long ago.
Bruce Holsinger set up a thread asking for early Britain crime fiction. This one: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
If I was anti author and didn't allow authors to ask for book recommendations I would have locked and moderated his topic.

[Kimber]

Please don't let her get you down Terri. If you leave, she wins. That's just not right. Like you said, this group is for readers. Authors are not discouraged but we are just here to talk about the books we love (and don't love) and not about the writing process unless it is in a specified place. If you have to...HAVE TO...take a break for a bit then we'll understand but please don't leave completely. You're definitely the heart and soul of the A&MHF group.

[Bobby]

You know my thoughts about who and what you are to the group....dedicated comes to mind at once. Say the word and me and the boys will go Viking over there!! Seriously, I KNOW you're tough enough to handle something like this and move forward!!

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Hi Kimber,
I know. It is a twist in my gut knowing she would get what she wanted if I left. But all the personal abuse I get, and now being targeted publicly. Sometimes it is simply too much and the pros don't outweigh the cons.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Bobby wrote: "You know my thoughts about who and what you are to the group....dedicated comes to mind at once. Say the word and me and the boys will go Viking over there!! Seriously, I KNOW you're tough enough t..."

haha. Thanks Bobby! :D

I was tough enough. Not so sure anymore. Pretty stressful being the doormat for these crazed people.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Author members of the group. Please be aware of this Goodreads Rule. It is not my rule, but the actual websites Author Rule:

Join a group around a topic or genre related to your book or a group for authors.
Groups are a great place to meet readers or other authors who share your passions. Bring your expertise and enthusiasm to group discussions, and you're bound to meet some people! If you join a group, participate as a reader first, and be sure to check the rules regarding author participation.

If authors would just pay attention to this Goodreads rule when they sign on, nobody would have to be moderated and nobody would ever have to get their nose out of joint! And I wouldn't have to contemplate leaving this site because your agressive bullshit has given me high bloody blood pressure.

[Jane]

I'll say a little prayer the Good Lord help you rise above this nonsense and bring a good outcome to the situation, Terri.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Thanks, Jane. :)

[Dawn]

Well, I've already said this but I'll say it again. My wish is for Terri to stay forever!! (or because I'm selfish I'll admit that I just need her to stay as long as I do!)

But I will support any choice you make my friend. :)

[Jane]

Please, none of you ladies leave us. You three have made this such a pleasant place.

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Dawn wrote: "Well, I've already said this but I'll say it again. My wish is for Terri to stay forever!! (or because I'm selfish I'll admit that I just need her to stay as long as I do!)

But I will support any ..."

{{hug}} :)

[Terri, Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Jane wrote: "Please, none of you ladies leave us. You three have made this such a pleasant place."

Its all you lot too that make it pleasant. All you friendly souls. :)

[Lia]

Seconded...
Completely agree with Jane. Those three ladies are the pillars of this group.

[Catherine]

Terri, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's so unfortunate that trolls that like feel they are entitled to behave any way they want. I can understand your wanting to leave, but hold on and see what happens. You have a lot of people who support you, love you, and want you to be happy. Maybe if enough of us take some action Goodreads will do something.

[Lisa]

Terri, and other mods please don't be offended, but you are the glue that's holds it all together. You are in all the discussions, commenting when someone else does so that they aren't just talking to themselves, knocking those on the head who are rude or trolls, and the group, quite frankly, would be different without you. If you go, she 100% wins, and the group will be inundated with dickheads like her. When you go to her blog, she is babbling on about someone else she's decided she doesn't like. These people are nonsensical, and have no legitimacy. You make them legitimate by giving her what she would enjoy most. I will refrain from saying what I'd really like to say, but I reckon you can guess! :)

[Mara]

I am brand new here and stumbled onto this thread. If I understand the situation correctly Terri (whom I don't know...yet) is taking a lot of abuse from someone who should know better. Terri, you seem to have a lot of support, perhaps enough to dismiss this as something that should never have happened. I so hope that this is not typical of exchanges between group members. I really have high hopes for my future experiences in the group

[Lisa]

Mara, the moderators in this group are exactly why we don't have any issues here normally. Our leading ladies keep a tight rein on people who just can't or won't fit in, either with the group or the guidelines. This woman is an anomaly, and best ignored. Don't be put off, this is a great group, that comes together for people when it's necessary, because they care, but most for our shared love of historical books. :)

[Margaret, Sherlockian Sheila]

Well said, Lisa. :)