This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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Gd time difference and my cushy part time schedule! I'm in the car.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation a. Aruba- single women really should just quit going there. Also, women who are in a relationship but are taking a secret vacation with their lover should also avoid this place. But if you're a murderer, it's probably an island paradise. Hmmm.
b. Yellowstone- getting mauled by a Grizzly and then having it shit (scat? can that be a verb?) your skin and clothes and bodymeat out is the pits.
c. Yosemite- That waterfall is really pretty until you're riding over the edge of it.
d. Norway- It pretty much went to creepy shit over there. Also, according to Oddrun, it's cold.
e. Libya.
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
Aside from lawn-mowing, i had a job at 15 shredding docs for a law firm. Carried the docs downstairs, ran them through the shredder 20 pages at a time for $4.25 an hour.
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
Cyanide laced candy, but only briefly.
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
I'm too old to remember that far back.
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
Hawaii, Ireland, and Mesa Verde.
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
I think i got all the bedbugs off of that mattress before i made the bed.
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
The Revolutionary War (God's retribution is not always swift). Look for locusts around 2942.
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
I let it turn brown and die so i don't have to do yardwork...but i lie and say it's to conserve water and keep the water bill low.
10. What are you doing this weekend? Going to Biltmore, i'm afraid.
4. How could you exclude Small Wonder?
smetchie wrote: "4. How could you exclude Small Wonder?"Shit...
Kristina,This won't make you snort but I'm going to send you a prize for being such a goddamned peach.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation
e. India. The worst place for summer vacation is always India.
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
Phone Girl at Dominos Pizza when I was 15. I made $5.50 an hour and friends with lots of older-guys-with-cars.
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
psychiatric advise. 5 cents.
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
c. Full House
d. Step by Step
e. Perfect Strangers
f. Small Wonder
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
I'm not sure but I'm going to guess 21 or so. No responsibilities.
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
1. North Carolina Outer Banks (do I get to trade this one out if they get wiped out by a Hurricane?)
2. Knoxville
3. Washington State
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
"I was gonna take the bedroom with the lock on the door. It's been a while since I killed in my sleep but, you know, just in case. Don't worry or anything. The last time I only stabbed the guy in the eye and then peed on his face. He lived and everything."
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
I have no idea what we did but I'm seeing a definite uptick in grasshoppers so I'm pretty sure the locusts will be here next month.
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
I don't water my grass ever. This year I let the bunny keep it cropped and boy oh boy were my neighbors jealous.
10. What are you doing this weekend?
breeder-style happy hour, pool, crabs and beer.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation Vacations sucks… and I ain’t got any funny stories! They always really lame!
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
I worked for the local chicken slayer! I was paid 5 pesos a week… (like 30 american cents) it was horrible! Killing chickens it’s not for kids!!!!
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
a) dehydrated water
b) caffeinated cigarettes!(I don’t care what anybody says… that is a great idea!)
c) nicotinated beverages! (I will pay good money for that!)
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
never had a best summer! They always suck! Look at this pictures of me in the summer:
See how happy I look? I fucking hated every second of it!! fucking sun! fucking beaches! Fucking lame ass food! The booze was good tho…
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
Alaska! Nick owns me a beer! And to let me shoot his big ass 50 cal!
The rocky mountains!! I want to go and drink moonshine with the hillbillies! For some reason they fascinate me!!!!
Japan! I want to feel normal for once in my life!
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
This make no sense to me!? why would you have to give up your bed!? That’s retarded! I say dress up like a cat and start hissing at them when they ask for where they are sleeping!
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
I say it was the gay marriage thing! It is a fact that god hates gay people! (don’t know why since there is nothing wrong with gay!) I don’t care what Bachmman says about him being pissed off only to “big” government! It was the gay marriage! expect the riders somewhere this fall!
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
I don’t have grass! But to answer your question I did manage to kill a 9 years old plant that used to belong to my aunt… using nothing but cigarettes butts! The god damn thing catch on fire!!! It was awesome!!!! I bought a new plant! And I hope she don’t notice when she sees it!
10. What are you doing this weekend?
Stayed in bed with back pain! I took some advil pm and a bottle of jack and it went by smoothly!
Alfonso:1. I just fell in love with you all over again
2. Did the chickens have really large talons?
2.a. no wonder why you suck at ressurecting birds!
3. You make an excellent pouty face. I love pictures where one person looks bitter. Isn't there a website dedicated to that? There should be.
Greatchen! you are thinking of fight cocks! grandpa raised those! they do not have long talons! you buy the talons and put em on! they also have gloves for the cocks for training purposes! they guy i worked for sold regular "american" chickens... they were delivered early in the morning... and then we were to hit em in the back with an iron tube... and let em to die... then you bath em in boiling water and take off the feathers! cut off their head... open em take the guts out... and chop em up! then you sell em! the fight cocks are expensive as fuck! and you only eat em when they deadly wounded after a fight! and they taste horrible! cuz they got a lot of muscle and shit!
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation a. Aruba- single women really should just quit going there. Also, women who are in a relationship but are taking a secret vacation with their lover should also avoid this place. But if you're a murderer, it's probably an island paradise. Hmmm.
b. Yellowstone- getting mauled by a Grizzly and then having it shit (scat? can that be a verb?) your skin and clothes and bodymeat out is the pits.
c. Yosemite- That waterfall is really pretty until you're riding over the edge of it.
d. Norway- It pretty much went to creepy shit over there. Also, according to Oddrun, it's cold.
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
I was a hostess at Elmer's Steak and Pancake House, making $5.15
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
Kitchen things and baking things and inappropriate cards
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
b. Family Maters
c. Full House
d. Step by Step
e. Perfect Strangers- I loves me some Balki
f. Small Wonder
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
22? 23? I lived in an apartment with April and had the best three months of my life.
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
Hawaii, Italy and Somewhere Fun with Snow
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
Clearly, I'm pissing on the bed first thing. Did I tell you guys that my ex-boyfriend who I thought I was going to marry is dating the bride's sister and he'll be at this damn wedding?
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
I don't know what you did, but the locusts are coming on September 29.
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
As much as I enjoy paying that 16 year old to mow my lawn, I've let it die. I also like to pretend I'm saving water/money, but since I've left my shower halfway on while I've been at work more than once since I've lived here, I clearly don't give a shit about resources.
10. What are you doing this weekend?
Heading to Lincoln City with 14 people that I can barely stand the sight of. Cheers to beers on the deck and drunken tubing.
Kristina about the wedding FUCK.Look hot.
smetchie wrote: "Kristina about the wedding FUCK.Look hot."
It will be fine... or at least I'll pretend like it will. I talk to the guy every once in a while, so that makes it less weird or more weird or whatever.
Anyway, the bride's sister is pretty cute, so looking hot (while always an option), isn't my best bet. I'll have to just look smart and really blow her out of the water. :)
Well then look indifferent. That's my go to.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation France (any time of year…everything’s all French over there)
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
Worked in a Real Estate Office. There were a bunch of old ladies and obnoxious men there, but also a handful of really hot women too. All I did was change light bulbs, take out trash, minor filing, and stare really really hard at a lady named Ashley. My god…I don’t remember what they paid, but I’d have done it for free.
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
No thank you.
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
b. Family Maters
c. Full House
d. Step by Step
e. Perfect Strangers
f. Small Wonder
If I have to choose from this list, I’ll go with Perfect Strangers. A girlfriend of mine in high school knew Mark Linn Baker. (Balki’s Cousin) Their families were friends. They thought that was some impressive shit. He was no Balki.
Could I trade it in for 8 hours of Knight Rider?
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
14 or 15. Went on a cruise with my parents and grandparents. I know…sounds horrible, but they gave me a free run of the boat. I made out with 3 different girls on that cruise. I thought I was a pimp!
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
Outer Banks, NC
St Augustine, FL
A cabin in the woods/mountains either on a river or a lake. Haven’t found the one yet, but one day I’ll find this perfect getaway mecca.
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space?
Fuck you! It’s my room. If you want to ruin your lives any further by making babies, go do it on the beach!
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
Can we blame Michelle Bachmann? They cancelled the locusts and are sending in swarms of Pigeon Horntails and Spider Wasps instead.
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
Water?! I don’t even mow or pull weeds. If it weren’t for the bunny, we’d have a beautiful meadow out back.
10. What are you doing this weekend?
Eating CRABS!! And whatever else my wife tells me we’re doing.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation motherfuckin' New York city.
It's a stinky hot shit hole in the summer
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid? sweeping up at a picture framing shop. Probably 3 bucks an hour.
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
Guns and Motorcycles!!! Anything else and you're a faggot!! (not that there's anything wrong with that)
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
b. Family Maters
c. Full House
d. Step by Step
e. Perfect Strangers
f. Small Wonder
I have never watched any of these shows!?!?
so I guess Alf because it's kinda science fictiony?
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
Last year! laid off with 6 weeks pay and benefits!I felt like an Italian pensioner!
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
1. Aruba (I've got more white chicks to bury)
2. The Alps (I've never been, but fuck, why not?)
3. Vegas
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
Bring a pony.
When you are asked to give up your room, say "Nah." then point at the pony and say "He can't come if people are watching"
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
Not enough pony sex; God's a damn pervert.
The locusts will be brought by the next hurricane.
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
I let it die until I begin to worry about what the neighbors will think. Then I water the mostly dead grass. The hardiest grass is also the weediest looking so I end up with a brown dead field spotted with vibrantly green weeds
10. What are you doing this weekend?
Working...as in at the office
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week...."First you proudly explain to the newlywed couple that you have lately become a kind of "natural" artist, and that you want that to reflect in your home. Thus, roughly 5% of the paint used on your bedroom walls is menstrual blood. Then you say; "But aaaahhh.....don't ask about the other 95%. It's kinda gross."
The newlyweds sprang for a hotel room!!!!!Whoo-hoo!
I haven't remodeled my bastment yet... I'm totally using menstrual blood. It will help with my hunting lodge/glamping theme that I'm going with in my party room.
shit! i forgot to tell you! i had a new idea to get em off your bed!!!!! when they get there you go:
hey remember that rash i had a few months ago? it's coming back! the results of the biopsy came back and my dermatologist says it may be contagious! so i changed the sheets in my bed! i hope y'all dont mind!
I will send a prize to the person who makes me snort at work.
1. Worst place for 2011 Summer Vacation
a. Aruba- single women really should just quit going there. Also, women who are in a relationship but are taking a secret vacation with their lover should also avoid this place. But if you're a murderer, it's probably an island paradise. Hmmm.
b. Yellowstone- getting mauled by a Grizzly and then having it shit (scat? can that be a verb?) your skin and clothes and bodymeat out is the pits.
c. Yosemite- That waterfall is really pretty until you're riding over the edge of it.
d. Norway- It pretty much went to creepy shit over there. Also, according to Oddrun, it's cold.
2. What was your first summer job? How much did you get paid?
3. Retail is hell... but the mall is a great place to go to stand around in air conditioning you don't have to pay for. If you had your own store, what would you sell in there?
4. You can have a four-day weekend if you promise to spend one day on the couch watching 8 hours of one of the following shows:
a. ALF
b. Family Maters
c. Full House
d. Step by Step
e. Perfect Strangers
f. Small Wonder
5. How old were you when you had the best summer ever?
6. If you could only vacation at three locations (other than your home state) for the rest of your life, where would you go? (You can go back to them repeatedly.)
7. My cousin is getting married on Thursday. On Friday, I am headed to the beach with my family for the weekend. I am in extreme danger of losing my bedroom to the newlyweds because they are too cheap to have a real honeymoon. What can I do/say to keep them out of my space? Also, just because I am single doesn't mean I don't enjoy a real bed. I am not sleeping on the fucking floor because two twenty-somethings made a poor choice and got married this week. JESUS CHRIST.
8. Clearly the East Coast has pissed off God. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Also, when will the locusts get there?
9. Do you water your grass in the summer or do you let it turn brown and die so you don't have to do yardwork?
10. What are you doing this weekend?