Room question

It's clear that Ma always had this idea underneath that she would immediately resume her former life, but she can't, not completely, because Jack has to be introduced to these things very gradually. She wants to go Outside and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, but he can't tolerate them at first. (What I couldn't understand is why she didn't take him Outside in the evenings at first.) She's been an excellent mother in Room, but now is having to learn for the first time a lot of things about being a mother. She's not selfish at all, it's just this conflict between her former and present life.

How could she be expected to remain the same "ma" that had been locked and abused in a room of 11 by 11. The horrors she had to deal with. She had had to remain strong for the sake of her son, on their escape she was finally able to give in. She had so much to deal with it is no surprise that for a while she had to allow time for herself. It's not that she loved her son any less it's just that she had to find herself before she could help Jack. I could understand the reasoning of returning to the room, but I would have thought that the doctors would have gone with them. For Jack the room was his world. He needed a chance to say goodbye in order to understand that that part of his life was over. He did not see it as bad. The fact that his mother understood this need, and in spite of her terror she went back there for the sake of her son.

Ma is different once they get out of Room. I totally get why but I was still so disappointed in her behavior. I kept thinking of my son who was the same age as Jack and I felt so sad. Even though I knew intellectually what was going on, emotionally I just felt so sad. I did not judge Ma, I just felt so sad. I guess that goes to show what a good job the author did because real life is the same way-you can know something intellectually but still feel the raw emotions.

I would love to see a "sequel" that tells the story from Ma's point of view. It would be awesome to see the contrast.

The doctors urged her to help jack get a sense of his self as being a separate identity from her own. They told her to stop breastfeeding, to help him grow more independently and see the world. She had so much pain, and clutched to Jack, but saw that it wasn't good for him even if it made her feel good, and she felt so much guilt, and that guilt made her try to kill herself. That change is the adaptation into a sane relationship that was best for her child, and that was supervised by the doctors at the clinic. It was hard for Jack, but it was for his own good! He started enjoying his Independence, having his own room with his name on it. Gradually, he was getting better.

How can anyone be natural and middle-class normal after being raped every week and locked up in a single eleven by eleven foot room for seven years. She was enrolled and attending college as a girl of 19 when she was taken, which means she was smart, a reader and full of literature, math, science, P.E., probably with hopes for a successful career. When she got out she felt down at discovering how her college friends turned out, especially those with successful careers. Before Jack, she lost a baby with it's cord around it's neck because her abductor refused her all medical care. Her teeth were bad because in the early years of her abduction she tried to gross the man out by not bathing or brushing her teeth. She was a fighter and had tried escaping many times, as briefly referred to once in the book. There was no way out. Then Jack happened and it saved her mind. But she never lost sight of the fact she could die any day. Nick strangled her when Jack dropped the jeep on him. Then when she found out Nick lost his job she knew he would stop coming to feed them soon. The terror and horror could not be clearer. I suggest people read up on Post Traumatic Disorder if you are puzzled by her behavior once freed from the Room. She wasn't hating on or changed toward Jack after being freed. She was extremely traumatized and unable to handle things anymore. The interview with the media personality caused her to attempt suicide. Ma had no more to give. She was running on fumes. Plus, I think she hadn't quite understood how much the world had moved on and that was a huge hit to her mental condition. Her parents had divorced and her mother remarried. Acting "changed" toward Jack? Holy cow. I can't see how she could still be rational after seeing how Nick had robbed her of her whole future, which she saw after getting out. I think she could be forgiven for not thinking about Jack for awhile once hospitalized. She needed to get help for PTSD first, at that point. It's not a question of "changing" toward Jack. It's about not wanting to kill herself because of all her losses.

I don't think it was a change towards Jack specifically. As some of the other comments have suggested, I think it was a stress reaction to the situation as a whole.

I think it's definitely different, but that it made sense. For the first time in years Ma could do something for herself, and I think that she might not have realized how much she needed/wanted that until they were out.

Did ma change? Sure. They're back in the real world and though Jack had to adjust with everything that was deprived of him, so did she. She had to catch up with family and friends - people who had been worried sick thinking that she had died. Sure Jack wasn't ma's center of attention anymore and maybe she got a little impatient but she didn't have to deal with JUST Jack anymore. She had to deal with her abuse and the trauma that came with it, she had to deal with her future that was robbed from her, she had to deal with family, her friends, her lawyers, etc. She also had to deal with guilt - the fact that her parents divorced because of her, or the the implied "selfishness" of the TV host during her interview.

Was it disappointing? No. Ma never stopped loving Jack any less. She was still overprotective of him and was defensive when people talked about the fact that Jack's father was their captor. Jack was her own, he was her son and she never failed to recognize that. Sure she had her impatient or frustrated moments but really, whose mom hasn't?

I loved the protagonist. She never stopped fighting and being strong for Jack despite her moments of vulnerability and weakness.

She had a lot to cope with. It is a fact that we deal well with stressful situations at the time, and are more likely to fall apart once the situation is resolved. I think this is what happened here. Jack was safe. She was free to confront her nightmares and this took some time.

Yes. I got this book from the library in Audio from the library. I was frustrated with the story from the point of their freedom on. Jack is just trying to understand the world and she's sort of short with him about some things. I also thought in parts the Grandmother was short with him as well. Stepa was at least cool with getting down on his level and helping him to understand things that he couldn't get from the other two. I enjoyed this read though. It was good. I wonder how I would have reacted if it were me in the situation... and it is fiction... so take it for what it's worth.

Her attitude definitely changed toward Jack once they got out. It was inevitable. She was locked in this room and held captive for seven years. Five of them were spent protecting Jack. Her entire existence revolved around keeping him safe and happy. When they finally escaped, the real world suddenly overwhelmed her. She was forced to face herself again & deal with her own emotions. She was just overstimulated, I think. She had to relearn to live in our complex society. The press was hounding them every step of the way & people are always so quick to judge. It wasn't as simple as getting to breath in the fresh air & swing in the hammock like she had imagined. Jack needed help adjusting to the new world, but how could she help him when she was having such trouble adjusting herself? I think her change of attitude was justified. I don't even think she ever expected to get out of there alive. Before Jack was born, she may have had hope. She tried to escape a few times. But once Jack was born, keeping him safe & getting him out was her priority. That's all she cared about. It was no longer about her own survival. It was about Jack's.

I thought Ma transformed into her mother after being rescued. Her voice, her actions, both seem to resemble the way Grandma speaks to and treats Jack. While in Room, she has nothing to do but be with Jack. Outside of Room, she wants to be herself again, as she remembers herself, and with all of the outside distractions around her, she defaults to the way she was raised. Grandma, of course, has her husband to help her, while Ma does not. And Ma doesn't know how to ask for help because she's never had to or been allowed to. And Jack is very demanding of Ma because he doesn't know anything different. He never wanted change. He never wanted anything different.

I think April MEOWS often with scratching has it exactly right. Both MA and Jack had a challenge to readjust once outside the room. I thought the book was far eaiser to accept as reality after the escape than while in the "room."

Ma had to keep her shit together for her boy. Once they are free I think she can't help herself. She knows he is taken care of and for a time she needs someone else to take over. She created a world within the room to keep Jack safe, but also resents his clinging to the idea of the room once they are free. In a nutshell - mum needed mum time to try and deal with everything "she" had been through.

She is understandably different. Jack is extremely needy and clingy (which is also understandable) once they escape and Ma seems irritated by it. She has gone through something horribly traumatic, and when she starts facing the reality of her time in Room, she can't handle Jack as patiently as she did before. She's angry that she was robbed of what should have been a wonderful time in her life, and I think that is also some of the basis for her change.

I hated the change. Although I understood her side of it. As she essentially lost her life for 7 years being kidnapped. And so once free she wanted to regain some semblance of who she was. But I totally hated how she wound up acting towards Jack. Actually I hated how alot of the adults acted towards him save for Leo and the Uncle. Just broke my heart reading how they treated him.

I think Ma had to cope in a different way in the room because the rules in the room were different. When they go outside, the world is different and there are social expectations that Ma knows about and taught Jack the best she could in Room but now they both have to adjust. Listening to the ending now. Jack is exploring Room for the last time. Jack is finding out how small the room was but still remembers the affection the objects in Room caused him to feel. Ma is the real affection and the objects are representative to the affectionate way she raised him.

I think towards the end of the book, you really begin the see the damage that has been caused to both of them. Of course, once out into the real world Ma starts to change. To me, it felt like she was trying to get something back (find herself, try and understand herself, if at all?)from all the things she had missed while being in room. The book is an amazing read though, i couldn't put it down.

I love the paragraph in the book where Jack notes that once they are "in Outside" Adults seem as though they are bothered by children & would rather sip coffee and talk to other adults. She was able to be 100% present with his and give him her undivided attention in the room & that's why he missed it.

I definitely saw a change in Ma's attitude towards Jack, and I think that it's partly because she resents him and his neediness after they escape from Room (perhaps also coming to terms with the circumstances in which he came to be, etc.). She doesn't think about the situation from his point of view, because she had a life before she lived in Room up until she was 19, whereas Room is all Jack has ever known.

I think that Ma wants to pick up where she left off seven years previous, and actually is totally unable to, because she now has Jack as a dependant, and resents that fact.

On the other hand, I can also sympathise with Ma and completely understand her frustration with Jack's lack of acceptance of Outside and desire to return to Room. It's a clash of experiences and understanding.

I began to hate Ma after they left Room, and I hated myself for being so on the side of the narrator that I couldn't see beyond his needs.

But--and it's my biggest but in my reading of the book--I also didn't believe her. I had evidence for her depression that spanned back through the book, but it also didn't ring true for me. I immediately imagined an editor telling her to put in some foreshadowing to make it believable. Whether or not this is how the writing of the book happened, there was something TOO selfish in her behavior.

I also didn't believe her return to Room. I thought she would never--ever--go back. But by this time, a seed of doubt in the character had bloomed, and I could only see a writer's satisfaction in the neat return to the place it all began.

I think also that Ma is overloaded with everything around her. I know when I am under stress I get snappy, and I can not imagine coming from a completely quiet and protected environment to a noisy, bright, fast moving hospital without feeling some stress. Plus the feeling of being judged for every decision you made that you thought was best for your child.

I think Ma is different but I don't think you could expect anything else. Having been locked away for years she is discovering herself again which she needs to do to help Jack eventually adjust to normality. Excellent book which I really enjoyed.

I don't think Ma's attitude toward Jack change, but she finally gives herself permission to react to the grief and rage and fear that she had experienced for 7 years. In that sense, she didn't have room for Jack in her life, because she had to work on her own stuff first. But she still loved him, and I liked the way she defended her parenting and his behaviors to her parents and others who questioned what had gone on.

I think this was a wonderful book and a quick read. Anyway, at first I hated Ma when she and Jack went to the hospital to stay. I thought she was rude and inconsiderate. Then, I stepped back and said 'wait a minute, the woman has been locked away most of her life!" How is she supposed to act? At times she seemed to have a short temper with Jack, the new people around her, and the fast moving outside world. By the end I reneged on my feelings towards Ma and chalk it all up to adjusting.

Yes, she is different. Jack is different as well. They have all be transformed by their escape and each are dealing with it with the tools they have. I'm not surprised that she struggles with Jack's desire to be back in Room and how he longs for what he knew as "home". I think that is why the ending of the book is the way it is, for Jack's closure. Ma is on overload, Jack, society, her family, everything is too much and in such a short span of time. Her reactions to Jack are understandable and in character.

I agree with both Jillian and Amanda. She was living in denial of her situation for so long, completely for Jack's benefit, and once they were out, it all became real. There couldn't be anymore pretending that everything was fine, and while she knew the rules of society outside of the room, Jack didn't, and he became a constant reminder of how screwed up both of their lives had been.

Jilllian wrote: "I see Ma's attitude as completely different. She seems to be somewhat bothered by his neediness and unable or unwilling to cater to his every question or concern. I think part of that has to do w..."

I think she is the same but her own neediness begins to be more apparent to us. We have seen her only through the eyes of Jack who doesn't understand the adult world. All her symptoms are there inside Room also but the confinement makes them less obvious to Jack and therefore to us.