This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
Apparently I don't have people skills.
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Reads with Scotch
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May 18, 2011 05:44AM
Whatever the fuck that is suppose to mean.
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Apparently I don't have people skills. Apparently the sky is blue and water is wet. Who knew?
Some of my infractions:Walking away from people mid-sentence- I have other things to do, if what you are saying isn't interesting why should I continue to listen?
apathetic to peoples personal problems- Erm... I'm your boss I don't give a shit about your personal life. I'm only concerned with your ability to accomplish the tasks your being paid to accomplish.
dismissive to opinions of others during meetings-
1) I don't do meetings. I brief, and direct. it's my job.
2) As a rule I dismiss absurd notions outright. If it is obvious that you don't understand the situation then you can't bring forward any feasible solutions.
3)You are a minion, it's time you acknowledge your place.
I love annual employee surveys...
Nick, have you considered writing a book about managing people?
I would read the shit out of that book.
I've gotten in trouble with my husband's family for walking away in mid-sentence. They complained to him about it and he said, "eh, don't take it personally. She was probably high." I'm not sure that excuse translates well to a work environment, though.
Rusty wrote: "Nick, have you considered writing a book about managing people?"I have, but the publisher started to say something and I walked away.
smetchie wrote: "I've gotten in trouble with my husband's family for walking away in mid-sentence. They complained to him about it and he said, "eh, don't take it personally. She was probably high." I'm not sure ..."
I think walking away is a powerful "work friendly" way of saying fuck off. I've never tried it on family before. This is why I like THC it adds perspective.
I enjoy it as well. Its not premeditated when I do it though. I just forget to pretend to pay attention and then eventually wander off.
Its not real if you think about it before you do it. I'm not sure at what point in a conversation my mental faculties decide to abandon the conversation but my feet do. Until I stopped to think about it, after reading the employee survey results, I wasn't aware I did it. Well did it so often to so many.
We're the same. I don't know what to do with that.
Have a baby boy and rent it out to my wife when I'm at work?
I just came to the scary realization that SH acts like my husband. When he is complaining about work he talks about "being surrounded by assholes and morons" and I'm scared that one day he might actually refer to his coworker as "that goofy bitch" to her face. (To be fair, he does have to work directly with some idiots)
To bad HR doesn't like me... I received an e-mail this afternoon informing me of a "counseling" next Wednesday. When I think of all the time this company spends on trying to hippie me up- well It just makes me shake my head. Sensitivity training was the pits.
Some highlights from my HR e-mail:
"Given the true measure of innovation is in the eye of the beholder, the sensitivity to "listen" to your subordinates is imperative. Listen to what subordinates say and do not say, and what they do and do not do. "Listening" is a discipline that everyone in the organization needs to engage in."
"Fear" should not be found in the workplace, for whatever reason, although in bad times, people are more open to talk about it, e.g. "fear of losing a job", etc. Nonetheless, fear is one of human being's basic emotions. It is ever present in the workplace, consciously or unconsciously, bad times or good times. Managing people, in one way or another, requires managers to understand how fear can affect corporate performance.
I understand that these excerpts don't make much sense without context but, I think it demonstrates how much I hate the company I work for.
Oh, and I have always found fear to be an effective management tool- I plan on telling them as much next wed.
I hear you, Nick. I'm listening.
That's bona fide?Jesus.
Half way through the session you should tell them that you feel you're being bullied and can't continue.
Maybe you'll be able to resume if you have a counselor who will sit with you and provide positive support.
I'm thinking about composing a scathing rebuttal to HR... Should probably have the wife proof read and correct before I send it out though.
On the plus side, when you're fired for being a dick, your wife will probably realize you can't afford that baby.
They won't fire me. I have them by the balls and they know it. I'm the only member of management that has a flawless operation record. I'm the one they send to the "personnel inefficiency" crews to fix them. Once they are in proper efficient order I get transferred to a new station. It's happened three times now the last one a few weeks ago. Which is why my review was so bad. These folks are a bunch of lazy shits and I have been riding them like sea biscuit for weeks. If I had a few months everything would have been fine, but these asshats still have a little fight left in them. it won't be long. Resistance is futile.
Good, so you CAN afford the baby. Phew!
No I can't. Those things are expensive.
Megan aka *Mheghan* wrote: "Apparently Smetchie is like him too."I was admonished for my shitty people skills just this morning in fact!! Nothing so beautifully retarded as that email. More of a disappointed dressing down. I don't think a counsellor is the answer for me, though. I believe I would benefit from an electronic translator. I think it would be awesome if I could say into a soundproof box: "quit acting like a fucking sissy!!" And a robot voice would say: "I appreciate your delicate demeanor! Keep up the good work."
Today, being a good little hippie, I opened the floor of my morning brief to the troops. There were some asinine comments about maintenance schedules and the like... As the tempo of mindless banter increased I decided I needed to act and soon. Being mindful of my impending hippification I decided on a subtle approach. Fearing irreversible damage to my mental faculties I decided I first had to minimize contact with the retarded. So I stuck my finger in my ear and held it there. I observed a slight slowing of comments for a moment... Slowing but not stopped. So I closed and held shut one of my eyes. thus my biological information capacity reduced I felt more comfortable being the target of so much stupidity. After a time someone asked what I was doing. So I told them. The looks on Thier faces made whatever disciplinary action worth it. I love fucking with people I hate.
Not me! I told myself while reading it that he didn't really do that so that I didn't feel anxious.
In hindsight it probably wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done. I earned myself a mild reprimand. Adena Cronk (the HR Nazi) Came down to "talk to me" When she sat in front of my desk I could see all the pieces of a scowl resting in one spot on her face... Like she was trying to hold it back but ready to deploy the full force of it at the slightest sign of my social foibles. So I sat silently and let her blow hot air about my office. Occasionally I'd nod and her not scowl would deepen. This went on for a decent part of the day. I can't really tell you what she said, after a time I stopped listening, As I was not an active participant in the conversation there was no reason to listen... the gist is, I'm acting childish. ::Shrug:: Let me manage or let someone else do it. If you want me to play your games then you will play mine.
I don't think either of us left happy that day. On the plus side the story (of the morning brief) has ran along the pipeline like a wild fire. :)
Nick! i think is time for me to explain my secrets to you!!! NO! I'M NOT ABOUT TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! I'M NOT IN THE CLOSET GOD DAMN IT!!!
ANYWAY!
as are well aware i am a horrible, horrible person!!
but my coworkers anywhere will tell you i have amazing people skills! they just dont know how wrong they are!!!!
now! i'ma need you to stay with me ! cuz this is about to sound really weird!!! here is my secret!
have you ever listen to a band called Anal Cunt???
i guess not!
here is what i want you to do! i want you listen to their first 5 albums! i really do! i know you not proly a grindcore fan! but trust me! you going to love these guys!!!!
orbid Florist (1993)
Everyone Should Be Killed (1994)
Top 40 Hits (1995)
40 More Reasons to Hate Us (1996)
I Like It When You Die (1997)
and after that you going to listen to their 6th album! you are going to need some help to do that! it's called pinic of love~! and its about exactly that! love and picnics and flowers and feelings and shit that you and i don't understand!
but think about it!!! you can make your own Picnic Of Love at work! you already built your reputation! they'll know you don't mean what you are saying!! but what can they do!? you are saying the right things in the right tone dude! its freaking brilliant! everyone will know that you mean the exact opposite of what you saying! try it dude! every time you doing the hippie thing you just remind yourself inside your head that you doing your own picnic of love!!!!!
There is a method to my madness. Right now they are infuriated. They are lamenting the way things use to be. Dreamily considering what to do in order to regain thier former litiney of lazy. They see me doing insane dispassionate things that are just not done in the work place in this day and age. They rejoice, laugh at my folly, think I am beat. But wait, what is this! Can it be? He is still here. Still demanding I do myjob efficiently. But how he made me feel bad. Told me all sorts of nasty truths that belittled my fragile delusional reality... I do not pander. I am not lickspittle. I play this little game everytime I transfer somewhere new. They will get in line. Learn to work as a team. In time they will start to feel proud of their accomplishments and things will smooth out. And when the time comes for me to transfer again there will be a little sadness in their eyes. They won't say anything they will know better then that by then.
Adena Cronk?are you sure you're not Harry Potter all grown up?
"Servius Heiner and the ISO 9000 audit"
I felt it necessary to change the last name... Evey time I see her, or hear her name that's what I think of.
@Monkey: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!@Nick: you're not harry potter but you are Nanny McPhee. "When you need me but do not want me then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me then I have to go."
(!!!!!!!!)
Do you have one giant tooth?? Fuckitall that I'm no where near a computer to find a pic of Nanny McPhee.
Please don't associate me with a child care professional. I don't need anyone encouraging the wif.
Then quit acting like a strict but magic nanny with a heart of gold.
Ill admit i am magical... Where does the heart of gold come from
All that crap about getting your little ducklings in line and teaching them to work as a team and a bit of sadness in their eyes when you have to go.
You're the "tough love" type of daddy.
Their shrink-wrapped tears have nothing to do with me.
I am officially the most hated man in 100 miles. The ongoing lack of productivity has been driving me insaine. After some investigation I learned that there is a sizable portion of people that drive back and forth between delta junction and Fairbanks. On company time. They are in effect leaving Fairbanks when they should be starting work but leaving work early so they are back in Fairbanks by "quitting time". Instead of 12 hours of work bought and paid for I'm getting 8 hours of work but paying for 12. Not to mention all the trips the make back to station because they "forgot" something. So I put an end to it. Formal wright ups on 6 people two of whom don't work for me. Game over bitches. Leave Fairbanks earlier or rent a room in delta like everyone else. .. Or you could just find a new job.
I think the the title of this discussion is misleading.you seem to have exceptional people skills.
