Hyperion Questions for the author (if he stops by)

[Lara Amber]

Now of course, Dan Simmons is free to peruse all the threads (if he does stop by), but if you have any particular questions for him, please post them here.

[Paul]

Mr Simmons

(assuming he does drop by)

two questions, really.

do you have a favorite character in the book?


i have to admit to a soft spot for Martin Silenus. was he entirely made up, or based on anyone - and were his experiences in the publishing industry digs based on personal experience?

okay, possibly three questions...

[Dan]

Not a Hyperion question but "How about another Joe Kurtz book?"

[[deleted user]]

If he stops by, I'd like to know:

Was this one book split into two?(Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion) Or was this written this way?

[Aloha]

You're ahead of me, Ala! LOL

[Aloha]

And was "Ala" because you forgot to add the "n" at the end, or is that your complete name? Or is that some SciFi's character's name?

[Jonathan]

The Cloning of Dan Simmons: A Proposal

Mr. Simmons, I take this opportunity to propose something radical yet inevitable: I would like to clone you, and raise young Dan Dan Simmons as my protégé/child.

Hear me out.

The purpose of this endeavor is the preservation of humanity itself, nothing less. What if you were to get hit by a car? What would your millions of fans read? Sure we have "paper" copies of your works and "electronic" backups, but what if catastrophe strikes and we are truly robbed of your words? The only way to be absolutely positive is to create Dan Dan. Your knowledge and skill would be passed down for generations to enjoy.

Dan Dan would get the best education I could afford; Wabash College, if possible. His care would be next to none. I would feed him and change the wood chips and shredded newspaper in his crate weekly. He would grow strong and tall on a diet of ground inferior authors. If you prefer, you can email me your daily eating routine for a 3 month period and I can replicate your diet, in case literary talent is a result of a high levels of fruit loop consumption or something. Dan Dan would be placed on a strict physical regime. He would cut my lawn, shine my roof and clean my garage floor with a toothbrush. All in the name of humanity!

It's likely not the first time that someone has asked for your genetic material so you know the drill. I'll fire off a package including a self-addressed envelope. In case you think I'm some sort of weirdo (for some reason) I can send it to a neutral third party. I'll need the following to ensure that the lab can construct a reliable clone capable of winning the Hugo award:

- 3 toenail clippings, one from each pinkie and the left big toe
- 4 strands of hair (from head thank you)
- signed copies of the entire Hyperion Cantos
- left eyeball
- letter of reference to Mr. Richard Curtis (I can provide a template and a photoshopped shot of us fishing off the coast of British Columbia - you were awesome!)
- the pen or Commodore 64 you used to write Hyperion
- right eyeball

I'm sorry for the long list but the lab told me it was better safe than sorry. The last time they tried to clone Stephen King using only a few strands of hair they sent me Justin Bieber.

You can have Mr. Curtis review the financials of this proposal but they are sound. Trust me. Dan Dan will go on to publish a series of four books in which cloned versions of the Pilgrims will seek out the "Thrike", a large cow covered in popcorn. After the series receives 2030's Pulitzer Prize, the book tour and movie deal will cover the Wabash tuition, woodchip debt and there will be plenty left over to fund both of our retirements. Plus Dan Dan would be tax credit heaven! Everything in cloning is deductible (except return of the eyeballs). I ask so little.

Thank you for your consideration.

Jonathan

[Aloha]

I'd say it's a great proposal. How can Mr. Simmons turn down such a great opportunity to make sure his genetic material lives on undiluted?

[Paul]

Brilliant!

[Sandi]

I just want to know how one author can write so many genres and do them all well. My husband hates science fiction and horror, but likes history. I passed my copy of The Terror to him and he is totally overlooking the horror element. He loves the historical realism.

So, you've gone from horror to science fiction to historical fiction. I also understand that you've written some mystery/thriller novels. What's the next surprise?

[Timothy]

Hi Sandi,
I normally write action thrillers, but my latest published book is a 'grow your own fruit and veg book' written at my publishers behest, it is my 'proper trade'. I found it was good writing something completely different, and you won't get two books more different than 'The Day the Ravens Died' and 'Beyond the Potting Shed'!
All the best Paul Rix [oldgeezer]

[Jonathan]

Jonathan wrote: "The Cloning of Dan Simmons: A Proposal "

Holy crap!!! I sent this diatribe directly to Dan Simmons and this was his answer:

"I accept. Give me the address where I should send the eyeball and other items."

!!!!!

[Aloha]

I love a guy with a great sense of humor! LOL

[Lara Amber]

Man I really do hope he stops by.

[Mawgojzeta]

Brilliant, Jonathan!

[Mawgojzeta]

My question: Why is it that every book cover that includes the Shrike only gives him 2 arms? Was this something outside of your control?

** It is one of the things that drives me bananas with sci-fi and fantasy - often the artist has not really read the full description of things/people in the book and then proceeds to misrepresent them on the covers.