The Mystery, Crime, and Thriller Group discussion
Fun & Games
>
Five Word Build-a-Story
"why, it's a fifth elem-ant!" exclaimed Joe, sobering instantly. "I detect my life is about to change," he said, bewitched by the ant. The clerk eyed him carefully. "if it's mystics you want, check out the seven-eleven down the street. Computers don't do feelings." Joe quickly left the computer store, thinking the clerk seriously needed some Jojoba oil. Walking down the street at a troT, he didn't notice the figure all in black behind him. "Stick 'em up!" a low voice said. "Yikes! A yegg!" Joe screamed. The thief straightened up fast. "What did you call me? Was that dirty?" he menaced. "Oh great," Joe moaned, "Not only am I being robbed by a thief, he's illiterate too." "Illiterate! That's ok, then. But how do you know I can't drink milk products?" the man in black wondered.Mathematical
Advertisements
Incidence
Innate
Underlying
Joe briefly wondered what the 'mathematical' odds were of being jumped on by a travelling burglar-the 'incidence' of such attacks couldn't be high in a town like this? 'I get bumps and boils if I so much touch a drop,' continued the thief. 'It's been an 'innate' reaction, an 'underlying' curse since the day of my birth.' His voice cracked in emotion. 'And I love it, the creamy, yummy...cowyness of it. All those 'advertisements' I see for it, every damned day. It's torture, man!'astonished
egotistical
jade
cola
marching
Just then, Joe's gal pals (Sheila, April and Elaine) wandered down the street, "astonished" to find Joe hanging out with this "egotistical" nutjob who was repeatedly dipping his "jade" necklace into an open can of "cola", while "marching" to the beat of the Barney song's 'I love you, You love me, We're a happy fam-i-lyyy'.....Sensation
Dream
Catatonic
Celestial
Dormant
Well at least the nutjob didn't turn "catatonic" yet. His illness was "dormant" during the morning hours so he was able to enjoy the taste of the bead-soaked cola, and listening to the "sensation" of the Barney song. But later in the evening, he became "catatonic" and could only hear a "dream" of "celestial" music.glasses
sound
wonder
cool
calm
The girls tried to "calm" Joe down after his exciting day. They gave him a pair of 3D "glasses" because they heard it would help him chill and "cool" down. But they "wonder"ed what effect the "sound" of the Barney Song would have on Joe and the nutjob. Clam
Coaster
Clubhouse
Campfire
Crass
Joe told the nutjob that he hoped he didn't come across as "crass" but that he felt that nutty should return to his "clubhouse" and build himself a "campfire". The nut liked the sound of a campfire and proceeded to light a fire with the "coaster" he had taken from Wylie's Pub next door. Wylie stormed outside and asked what the &%#@! was going on. Joe, remaining quiet as a "clam", merely pointed at nutty.
Sheila, April and Elaine sat around a campfire talking over whether Joe was worth helping anymore. April said, "I remember when I first laid eyes on him in our neighborhood clubhouse. I was dripping mocha over a frenemy's dress and he came over with a coaster. He gave her the coaster, but looked deep into my eyes. So good looking, I fell all over myself giving him my cell number. Little did I know what a crass, vicious, drug addicted, drunk he was. Why do I adore him so?" Elaine and Sheila stared at her vacuously. Perhaps it was the clam juice mixed with a little hair of the dog. Then, they stirred and smiled. "You know why we all adore him. It's the money of course!" they slurred in unison.Diseased
Decoupage
Decrepit
Decry
Dedication
But Elaine continued: "I don't know. It could also be his 'dedication' to 'decoupage'." "Isn't that just women's bosoms?" asked April suspicously. "Nah," replied Elaine. "That's a different D word. French. Not that I'd 'decry' him if he did. Sometimes a girl's got to work with what she's got." "Even one as 'decrepit' as you?" said Sheila. "We ain't none of us Charlie's Angels," said Elaine. "'Sides- the man's diseased. Like that T- shoving us all in the narrative together!"Elegant
Emery
Endure
Basketball
Smelly
Just then, the "elegant" T waltzed in, jabbing her honed "emery" board at them and pretending to hiss like an angry cat. "I just came from a pro "basketball" playoff game, and NutJob over there is more "smelly" than the sweaty big dudes who had to "endure" a quintuple overtime! Where's the Febreze?!?!"Dangle
Bling
Death
Hysteria
Caboose
The girls decided to leave both the nutcase and Joe to their own devices and decided to go to an "elegant" fundraiser "basketball" game. I think we need to go to the manicurist first, we all need to have someone use an "emery" board on our ratty nails. Maybe a perfume store after that since we will have to "endure" those "smelly" but cute b-ball players.Holster
Macaronic
Court
Training
Glum
(Okaaay...rolls up sleeves and attempts to tackle a double whammy). T laughed in 'hysteria', the 'bling' on her elegant fingers catching the light as she waved her arms. "This will be the 'death' of me! Have I been to the basketball or not? Is it a flashback? I have no idea! It's like watching Tinket Tailor Soldier Spy all over again! Except the colour's better and it's not so 'macaronic'." "You have no idea what that word means, do you?" asked April. T let the question 'dangle' as her hand went to her 'holster' "Enough already about the b-ball'court'," she said. "Ladies, you are now in spy 'training', so don't look so 'glum'. Now, hurry! We need to jump on that 'caboose'!" (Phew)
Sand
Jug
Excitedly
Joe
Metal
< good job, elaine! always fun to throw a 10-word masterpiece together, isn't it? > Just then, Elaine, a new gal-pal-in-waiting rolled up with a "jug" filled with "sand", "excitedly" waving at our boy Joe, who by now was wearing a "metal" colander over his head in order to keep his brains in and the crazy thought waves out, never mind the holes in the colander causing leaks in both directions.
Cabbage
Porcine
Doodles
Almond Joy
Pastina
The basketball players kept glancing up into the stand. One of them completely missed his pass looking at Joe and his colander. "Hey, you porcine cabbage!" screamed April, forever getting the words not quite right. T passed her an Almond Joy, uncertain of what she'd do, but more fearful of what she'd scream next. Maybe whatever was wrong wih Joe wasn't too much drugs, but something catching. Elaine was drawing. "Watcha doing?" T asked, to distract herself from watching Joe's eyes rolling and April accosting strangers seated next to her with the candy bar. "Doodles. I'm bored. Want to go get pastina?" April turned and said "Sure. Can my new buddy Val come?" Sheila, T, and Elaine smiled. Joe put the colander on her head. "Welcome to my entourage!" T whispered, "Just go with it."Exclusion
Excavate
Etcetera
Estrogen
Ergo
"Love the new colander" Val said. "I am skilled in spy. Spy am I." She kept rambling on, "etcetera", etcetera, etcetera. Was it just "estrogen"? or did the colander really do weird things. Was it "excavating" her brain? Would we ever find out? Just then April reminded them that time was quickly passing and she was getting hungry, "ergo", the piece of pizza in her hand. She tore off a small bite and passed it to Val "excluding" the others.
< Val - remove the colander, and quit having so much fun and give us 5 more words please! >
oops, that darn colander!privy
surreptitious
dragonfly
Val wrote: "oops, that darn colander!privy
surreptitious
dragonfly"
Need two more words on this game. : )
April the Cheshire Meow wrote: "Val wrote: "oops, that darn colander!privy
surreptitious
dragonfly"
Need two more words on this game. : )"
hahahaha eegads I need to go to sleep
so sorry
privy
surreptitious
dragonfly
conceit
reckless
Val, good sport that she seems to be, was not "reckless" or full of "conceit", and so she was a tad "surreptitious" as she took that bite of shared pizza. Was she "privy" to a special secret with our boy Joe? Or did she maybe need to go to the privy in a sudden bout of stomach cramps? Was that "dragonfly"overhead really a dragonfly or was it a spybot?
Lurk
Smurf
Turf
Hurl
Purl
While Joe was quietly sitting on the "turf", he saw someone stick a knitting needle into a "smurf". Maybe that person can teach me how to do a "purl" he thought. Do not "lurk" in the distance he heard someone say and saw someone "hurl" the knitting needle towards his face.splat
smear
tongue
adventure
plague
Joe, forever deep in difficulties wondered if this last" adventure" might have left a "smear" on his dossier that would "plague" him for years to come. His musings were interrupted by a flying knitting needle with smurf stuff on it that quickly and with a loud "splat" embedded itself into his forehead. "At least it missed my "tongue", Joe said as he slowly toppled over.maffick
traffic
pipe
ripe
clear
Joe found himself in a beautiful white pavilion with lilac gracefully winding around white posts carved with figures looking like T, Elaine, a cat, Val, Sheila and someone he hadn't met but he thought she looked like a Cam. There was a clear tinkling noise coming from all around in the scented air. "I'm dreaming," he thought. Then, a bull and a wolf riding in a tractor came out of the swirling mist, being chased by a cook with a cleaver. "This is is a lot of traffic for a dream," he wondered. The bull, a bit ripe, danced up to Joe. "Come and join us. We need more to maffick properly," he snorted. Joe laughed. He felt a pain in his ribs. He opened his eyes. "Finally," said the man standing next to Joe's body on the floor, smoking a pipe and tossing a messed up knitting needle.Confession
Redundant
Intractable
Forecast
Sleeves
Poor Joe, once again suffering from that "intractable" T, whose escapades were getting somewhat "redundant". At least you could reliably "forecast" that Joe would have some wild-haired adventure and know that T would always have a reasonable "confession" up her "sleeves".Sympatico
Synthetic
Synergy
Sereptitious
Copacetic
Will T find "sympatico" feelings for Joe and leave him alone? Joe was scared and held onto the "synthetic" smurf, feeling much comfort and "synergy". Everything was "copacetic" after T left and went to lunch. Joe tried to find the word "sereptitious" in the dictionary, but had no luck doing so.time
depleted
destroy
monkey
see
"It's time," Joe announced to no one in particular. "I must destroy the monkey!". "Monkey see, monkey do," he muttered to the smurf. "Luckily I have not depleted my bank account and still have resources available to hire a hit man." stupid
brainiac
gardener
peacock
forgiveness
Joe shook his head and opened his eyes again. "Hello, stupid," said the man flipping the knitting needle. Joe stood up and realized he was at the b-game still. But where were the women? Who won the game? Was he in London, because somebody used the word maffick which ATCM had to look up earlier since she's an American, and as usual hadn't a clue, an occurrence that happens a lot especially on this thread, and do basketball games happen in London? "I'm no brainiac, but I saw a smurf," Joe stuttered. The man, wearing a black suit to set off his platinum white hair, said "and I'm not your employer but a gardener who raised a peacock. Where are my genetically engineered glowcats you were hired to steal from that lab about 50 comments ago?" "Well," said Joe," I must ask your forgiveness. I got sidetracked." The man leaned in close. "If you don't have my cats that glow in the dark, where's my money?" Joe thought about a lot of the past paragraphs, and gulped. "I'll get the cats." or monkeys, as the case might be.Epic
Survival
Maudlin
Crystal
Buttercup
Cam wrote: "Will T find "sympatico" feelings for Joe and leave him alone? Joe was scared and held onto the "synthetic" smurf, feeling much comfort and "synergy". Everything was "copacetic" after T left and w..."mainly cuz i spelled it wrong.....surreptitious....i think.
"Say, BUTTERCUP,", leered the weird dude, "are you up for attempting an EPIC SURVIVAL run while in your MAUDLIN frame of mind?" Joe wished he had his magic grow CRYSTALS that could grow into a fortress to protect him from Weird Dude.mango
morbid
maltese
malt balls
moth balls
Weird dude, whose name was B. Fool, pulled a mango from his pocket and began to eat. "Next time I see you, have my cats or my money." He walked off. "Whew!" Joe sighed. April strolled in from the concession stands with a strange woman."Why so morbid, Joe?" she asked. "Unless I come up with cats that glow in the dark, my malt balls will be moth balls." he moaned. April grinned. "This is your lucky day. Val here was telling me she found a box addressed to Maltese Island, a mysterious island near Hawaii, but she heard a mew. It was a glowing cat!" Val held a leashed cat. "I found it in front of my apartment. It glows in the dark." Joe yelled, "get the girls! We're going to Maltese Island!" T walked up. "Look what I won on the slots. Money." "No," said Joe, "plane tickets!"Crash
Sunburn
Beach
Root beer float
Cheesecake
In the back of his mind, Joe figured he was in for a heckuva CRASH when he came down off this high, or was it up from this low? But for now, he dreamed of laying on the BEACH, working on his SUNBURN, with what he thought of as his CHEESECAKE gals, enjoying the largest ROOT BEER FLOAT in the world.Feministaa
Bollywood
Dimsum
Yoga
Tankini
Joe and the girls, now calling themselves Joe's Feministsaa gang, boarded Hawaiian Air. Naturally, they were mistaken for Bollywood stars. They ordered dimsum, but not too much. After the meal, T started putting her feet behind her neck, while April stood on her head. The attendant hurried over. "What are you doing?" he gasped. Joe, his brain sizzling because of the altitude, said "Yoga, I think. Right?" Sheila and Val pulled out a tankini. "We all bought these in medium." Cam said. Suddenly, the jet sputtered.Swallow
Singe
Sniper
Scream
Society
< hmmm....think i'll leave the next entry for cam, she might have somthin else to say.... lol.....>
A "swallow" had flown into the engine, how a swallow got to that altitude is beyond me. The plane was one big "scream" and the "Society" for Safe Flight was flipping out. Maybe the swallow was sent by a "sniper" who was afraid to fly. With the plane going down the only thing Joe could think about was whether the fire would "singe" his beautiful beard.Cam
Humid
Blast
Reflux
Float
Luckily everyone had a parachute and life boats. It was a "blast" heading directly into the life boats from the parachutes. Look I can "float" said "Cam". Everyone enjoyed the cool breeze as it was a "humid" day and T was so happy she forgot about her "reflux" disease.seagull
seaweed
dart
coast
guard
The COAST GUARD cruised up to the rafts to check on everyone and a SEAGULL flew overhead dropping strands of SEAWEED on our friends, and a load of poop on poor ol' Joe's head, with the force of a DART thrown at a dart board. Good thing the Guard showed up, poor ol' T was first an alcoholic and now it seems she has digestive issues too, no wonder why she's so crazy cranky!Spittle
Corpse
Machete
Suppository
Trajectory
April the Cheshire Meow wrote: "Joe and the girls, now calling themselves Joe's Feministsaa gang, This made me laugh out loud (funnier than lol).
The Coast Guard captain took action. "Throw the corpse overboard!" he shouted grabbing T. "I'm not dead" she whimpered, spittle running down her chin. Joe, always the hero, grabbed a machete from his life raft survival kit and brandished it at the captain. " Stand back -- I'm armed with this machete and a suppository!" he sneered waving the suppository in a strange trajectory which the Feministaas understood was a signal.
Five words, Val? I may or may not be in a lifeboat with my beloved Joe, so I need to progress the acton:)
dementiarock and roll
superstition
children
uzi
< go on, elaine, put yourself where you want to be! lol >
be careful of what you wish for..."Stop!" shouted the captain. "Waving a sharp object in a lifboat is a terrible 'superstition' for us sailors!" "Have you got 'dementia'?" demanded the salt-caked, dehydrated and narky April. "It's waving an 'uzi'!" "9mm?" croaked T through parched lips. "Oh, don't be such 'children," snapped Elaine from her under-reported presence in the lifeboat. "This is a pirate radio ship, playing 'rock and roll' radio. That means we have to stay tuned for more rock and roll."
Ramones
eloquently
whale
underpants
spotted
Rockin' out to the RAMONES in her SPOTTED UNDERPANTS, our friend April ELOQUENTLY introduced each of the Cheesecake Fashionista gals to the WHALE of a Coast Guard captain and his crew, expounding on each gal pal's strengths.Shenanigans
Dolphins
Grave
Scintillating
Dividend
"Elaine is perhaps the most scintillating of us ladies," April pimped, realizing she was generally too salty to entice anyone for long, despite the French cut briefs. Joe, suddenly reminded of certain shenanigans with Elaine and a bad tempered elephant, a Red Devil vacuum, dolphins and whipped cream, slowly grinned. The Captain tried to continue his grave posture, but the other Feministaas turned up the wattage of their eyes, making duck lips, except April, who licked the salt on hers. "All right, if you want a lift, come on board," he said. "But I have to report an illegal radio ship." T's smile was devastating. "There is a better dividend for you and your handsome crew playing ball with us," promised T. Suddenly Val, Sheila, and Cam were dazzling slinky, moving to the Ramones. Joe, looking at them, strangely turned a bit glum.Vixens
Yo-yo
Flutter
Flugelhorn
Zucchini
The first mate started playing the "flugelhorn" while the "vixens" danced around the boat. T,who is very talented, was walking the dog with her "yo-yo" while doing a stimulating dance. Cam was doing her famous "flutter" dance, a take on the Dance of the Seven Veils. The Feministaas had the captain so rattled he was trying to blow music out of the "zucchini". Incorporated
Ultion
Evoke
Amazon
Opium
< april, do you hang out with the bodice-ripping book fans, as well? lol.... >Joe thought that perhaps the OPIUM was exacting ULTION on him and he really should give up the drugs, but then again, maybe he could INCORPORATE the Feministas and if they wrote and he edited, this whole trip could EVOKE mucho dinero from AMAZON.
Stud muffin
Dancing with the Stars
Groceries
Robin Leach
Tattoo
The "stud muffin" "Robin Leach" happened to be on the ship and offered everyone special drinks of an unknown mixture. One person (I'm not mentioning who) overindulged and got so tipsy she decided to get an eagle "tattoo" on her forehead. The "groceries" on the ship became spoiled due to the power outage. Robin loved the way Val and Shelia were dancing and offered them auditions for "Dancing with the Stars".shoes
angry
June
revoked
books
The new season started in "June" but the dancing "shoes" weren't going to be ready then. Robin was "angry" about that and "revoked" the offer. The Captain decided to check his "books" just in case the power outage was caused from lack of payment. Rank
Unload
Capsule
First
Taxpayers
Hawaii was on the horizon. The Feministaas cheered. The Captain and his crew were sad, but they knew the first thing they had to do was restock the liquor. Robin was still sulking, and when he saw the rescued gang all up on the top deck excitedly talking about shopping for beach and hotel wear, he groused, "Are you going to repay the taxpayers for your rescue? Rank useless wankers, the lot of you! I'm happy to unload you witches." The Captain winked at the stunned girls and told them, "Never mind him. He's an old crank who needs to be given a capsule of something to put him in a better mood." April asked, "you're giving out Mai Tai's?" T quickly spoke, "down girl! Look, see? The dock! Look!" Safely distracted, April turned and saw they were docking. "hooray!" everyone cheered. April got so excited she ripped her shirt's bodice open.Powerful
Dazzling
Deafening
Fretted
Trust
Oh dear, our friend April is a "powerful" "dazzling" one, isn't she? While Robin "fretted", Joe knew that he could "trust" his Fems and joined them in some "deafening" rousing cheers of delight.Pistol
Gutter
Snipe
Wicked
Naughty
Yegg
Bewitched
Eleven
Detect
Jojoba