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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
message 351:
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Sally, la reina
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Jan 24, 2011 11:19AM
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Well everybody knows it's "good intentions." We don't need to bother the all-knowing with that one, Johnathan.
Michael wrote: "What's happened to me that I seem to Michele Bachmann oddly physically attractive?"Michael, for me she's like a bad wreck. I am horrified, but I can't look away.
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Cynthia wrote: "Well everybody knows it's "good intentions." We don't need to bother the all-knowing with that one, Johnathan."I was hoping Kevin might have a new take on that one, Cynthia. The received wisdom says good intentions, but who knows, could be mortgage debt, drink, bad diet, failure to floss after meals...
Sally, how old is Leah? My Madeline didn't get a tooth until she was one. Her baby teeth stayed in forever too. Poor girl was 18 when she finally got her braces off. Supposedly, the teeth that come in slowly hold up the longest. Or maybe that's an old wives tale.
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Jonathan wrote: "Cynthia wrote: "Well everybody knows it's "good intentions." We don't need to bother the all-knowing with that one, Johnathan."I was hoping Kevin might have a new take on that one, Cynthia. The r..."
True, "Mr. Wizard" Kevin manages a new spin on lots of things we just take for granted.
I thought the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Is the road to hell the same as the road to ruin?
Let's ask Kevin. He'll know. He knows everything!
Janice wrote: "Is the road to hell the same as the road to ruin?"Oooh, good question!
366 - detroit. (please see current trending thread in TC)yes, south of santo domingo, east of pavas right on 27
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "367 - sex and candynext?"
i'm having candy now, not sex. will that work too?
368 - she has teeth already. they just are not lowered into proper biting positionnext?
376,377,377 - the road to hell is not the same as the road to ruin. technically there is not a road but a highway to hell. it has a slow lane and a fast lane but both end up at the same place. the road to ruin is a less scenic drive without all the stuckey's and XXX truck stops. it is usually traveled alone.next?
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "367 - sex and candynext?"
Thanks Kevin. Now I'm going to have to listen to that song. *shake fist*
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Hopefully it's more than the amount of licks that it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
sally - after a really good one 4. after an especially nasty one, 27 followed by a warm bath in the kitchen sink complete with use of the dish sprayer.
I was talking NUMBERS, lmao.
What exactly is disco lemonade?
stacia - blue curacao, vodka, lemonade
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Sally wrote: "The KITCHEN SINK? Ew! Are you talking Leah? because I'm now imagining a large bald man squatting over my wooden cutting board, dabbing his dangle with my orange sponge."Mr. Clean or Mr. Sprinkle?
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "stacia - blue curacao, vodka, lemonade"Do want. I love blue curacao.
Was def talking Leah. For an adult just shower in neighbors shower
How do I tell someone that I don't want to talk to them?Nicely.
My company if fixing to start fundraising for the March of Dimes, I said wouldn't a bowling tournament be fun. Now I'm in charge of putting it together. My question, will it be successful?
Why do all the girls in my fem theory class insist on wearing bottles of perfume??? They fuckin with my allergies.
399 - unfortunately there is no real "nice way" to do that. it is not in what you say but how you say it that matters. it will prob catch them off guard and will be hurtful. just be honest, firm and brief. get it over with and move on.or you can be a man and have someone else do it
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lyzzibug - i'm inclined to say it will be fun but not especially successful (in terms of dollars raised for charity). the cost (unless you get the bowling lanes to give free bowling) will offset much of the money raised. some friends of mine recently did a fundraiser for a children's home in mexico where they sold cookie dough. been done you say. well, they actually made the cookie dough themselves and froze it then put it in plastic 2# containers that are really cheap. almost 100% profit. how about a company karaoke night where people pay to hear other sing songs (ie: president, HR person, etc). would be fun, low cost and cool. (an idea i just had). all that being said, anything you wind up with to help others is amazing. def a win win. plus you get people to get out and give together.does anyone have a pair of size 12 bowling shoes they would sell me?
next?
402 - 
Sorry I wear size 10 but you are welcome to borrow my purple ball :)
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "does anyone have a pair of size 12 bowling shoes they would sell me?"No, but you can borrow them.
And that girl doesn't look anything like Britt.
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sorry, missed this question so it has already happened. the answer was no but of course you already know that.next?
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I did not see that coming. Interesting.
One day you're at work and a limo pulls up. Out steps Connie Chung. You and your colleagues are standing around the coffee machine as Ms. Chung strides confidently into the room, puts her hands on her hips, and says "Which one of you is Kevin?" Stunned, your colleagues point at you and back away, leaving you alone in the middle of the room. Ms. Chung says, "Kevin, your reported love for me has spread far and wide, and I have come to find out exactly how much you love me. You might not know this, but I am a finger puppet enthusiast. In order to win my love, you must put on a finger puppet show in which you describe or otherwise represent your love for me. You may use these three finger puppets...1) a moose, 2) a mouse, 3) Jennifer Aniston. You also must use music. It can be any music you want, as long as 1) it's by Toto, and 2) it's the song 'Africa'. You have one hour to prepare, then you must perform this finger puppet extravaganza in front of me and all your colleagues."Please describe your finger puppet show.
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