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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
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Jonathan
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Jan 10, 2011 08:46PM
[Four and counting.]
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Oh Great and All Knowing... Will I ever grow up and become a card carrying adult? Or will I always giggle when dogs start humping each other?????
gail - uh. embarrassing as it may be, i seem to have misplaced your last question....
LG - 1) silly string, which is neither a part nor a labor.
2) sorrow at the death of a friend
3) anything more than 23 is extraneous
next?
janice - your get up and go got up and went. it went to someone younger who might use it more dangerously
britt - no. he will not call. we say we will sometimes and intend to. we also say we will call sometimes and do not intend to. we also occasionally so drunk we don't know what we are saying.
suefly - you do not want to be a card carrying adult. when you stop giggling at dogs humping or seeing a monkeys red ass you may as well realize you are in a rut. and a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out.next?
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all the questions? And is there a question you don’t know the answer to?
no and yes. (the question you just asked is it)
Mod
good question sally. A) kiss sally's behind
B) don't be stupid
D) don't hawk your own agenda
E) be older than say 16 (more is better)
C) have an opinion but don't be a jackass
7) lavish gifts and praise on moderators
8) don't be stupid
I heart this thread...you should do a new one every Tuesday.
carol - ok....watch closely. starts with this. two wiggles, coupla these. then you do this, this and moonwalk backwards three steps. shake like this. do the blue steel look, cross eyes and finish with a pound.next?
how many days until baseball starts?
ok, multi part answer:Feb 14th pitchers and catchers
Feb 23rd all players
Mar 31st MLB opening day reg season
of course for me baseball season started last saturday when the colts lost...
Kevin, is my friend Andrew, who lives in Brisbane, safe and well?
hmmmm. with all my smart ass answers and flip remarks on this thread all i can say is i hope so. friends double our joys and half our sorrows. may your friend be safe and around for years to come to bring you joy. blessings to all those in australia who are suffering in this recent tragedy
Thanks, Kevin. I posted here mostly because I felt like a flip answer would reassure me that I was being silly to worry. Not the most reasonable of thoughts, but my brain has been out of control today. Stupid brain.
as for your friend andrew, he, being an aussie, is on the underside of the world. the flood waters will then flow upwards toward the sky (from the ground) leaving everyone in his area safe and sound (with the bottom of their chins and underarms wet from the uprush of h20). the downside is the snow in the united states midwest is experiencing due to flood waters from australia falling down on us in below 32 degree temps.next?
Jammies, we'll all send good thoughts & prayers to your friend Andrew & the rest of those in Brisbane. Then maybe your brain can let go of the worry a little. :)"All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well." — Julian of Norwich
Thank you, Kevin and Sher. I just heard from Andrew, he and his wife and cats are all safe!
Especially the part about the cats! :D
Please describe your approach to cartwheels.If you were the grand marshall of a parade, what waving technique would you use, and would you rather be on a float or in a car?
Also, would you want a sceptre? Scepter? One of those?
cartwheels - no delicate, graceful maneuvering on my part. i run full bore for approx. 11 yards before thrusting both hands straight upwards then flinging them to the ground forcefully. this either breaks my wrists (thus ending the gymnastics) or propels me both vertically and horizontally. from here my legs go all crooked (but my toes are still correctly pointed) making a safe landing an improbability. as my legs get all cartwheely they over-rotate to the point of me catching one toe on la tierra before tumbling out of control into a tree or sign that i thought was not in my landing zone. i then leap to my feet (with leaves and grass clippings stuck to me) with my knees and hands bloody, step forward with one foot slightly bending one knee , throw my chest obscenely forward with my back arched and artfully bringing both arms upward and over my head (palms back) while waiting for the judges scores.
Once softball season starts in April, will we have our usual trash-talking problems with Our Lady of Loretto or will those assholes finally realize their high-school dreams are over and actually play nice?
def not the princess wave as it draws little attention anymore. i instead go for the "goober/gomer" wave which is a vastly over-dramatized side to side motion with a stupid grin. it is memorable. def a float. with the openness and height you can get more velocity on the treats as you pepper the kids with hard candies. with some training and effort you can make it feel like rock salt hitting them.
no scepter. those seem especially flamboyant. plus i need my non-waving hand free to whisk my cape around.next?
So many things taste like chicken...what does chicken taste like?
Mod
easy. queen mother loved oatmeal in the mornings with a side of canadian bacon and a shot of tequila. when the quaker company decided to begin making oatmeal they wanted to pay homage to the QM and her love for oatmeal by using her image in the logo. they got rick from shipping/receiving and had him wear a white wig and frilly shirt. they didn't have a "sunday in the courtyard" hat available so they absconded one they had leftover from a drunken village people routine the guys from accounting used in a christmas party village people skit. thus, the QM's connection to oatmeal.next?
Mod
#247 cartwheels:: Bravo, bravo! 4.3 high score.
while both have contributed greatly to humanity, i would have to say MLK who continues to inspire hope more than 40yrs after his death. when i see the image of MLK i immediately think of peace and equality. sometimes when i see the image of oprah i think it is al sharpton.tryptophan
no, i would not. while MP is married to my main crush i still would not like to have an "insiders" view.
when is ann bishop's new black jewels book, "Twilight's Dawn" due out?
march 1st. but don't hurry out and buy if you like jaenelle and saetan. oopsie. i've said too muchnext?
kevin, thank you. I've put that into my diary: 1 trip to barnes & noble on mar.1st or 2nd.
when is ann bishop's new black jewels book, "Twilight's Dawn" due out? Are you flipping kidding me Michele? I am so excited now! Off to put this at the top of my wish list. :)
my library has had "Twilight's Dawn" listed for 2 months on it's computer but will not allow any holds for it. I try every other day. But this one, like the next Anita Blake book is on my "to buy" list because they are both keepers as far as I am concerned.
The two best novels ever written (keepers)?
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