I hate people in general. (This thread is actually about knitting and smoking)

[John]

Humanity is the worst. Wouldn't you agree?

[matthew]

kinda

[smetchie]

I would.

[Rusty]

I've always been anti-humanity.

[Erika]

Animals are way better.

[smetchie]

Also television.

[smetchie]

Also books.

[Erika]

And video games and couches.

[smetchie]

Wait, did you say video games? Because you know Alfonso is trying to drum up some interest in a Haters Club Call of Duty clan or some such shit over there on another thread.

[Rusty]

Also pancakes.

Sorry, but I has some really bitchin' pancakes this morning at a restaurant down the road.

[Erika]

I haven't joined the age of technology. I got stuck back in Super Nintendo Donkey Kong days, so much so that I got a Wii just because you could downloand that old school shit. Also I have no idea what is Call of Duty... do you?

[Harry]

Peanut Butter.
Roller Skates.
Ice Cream.

[smetchie]

Also I have no idea what is Call of Duty... do you?

I do now. Unfortunately, I do now.

[Erika]

Did you play????

[smetchie]

No way!

[Harry]

You know you want to. It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

[smetchie]

I'm perfectly content with my knitting thank you very much.

[Erika]

I want to learn how to knit. But it seems like it takes a lot of hand to eye coordination. I don't have much of that.

[smetchie]

I don't think I'd call it hand to eye coordination. Maybe.
Put it this way, if you throw me a ball it's going to hit me in the face. But I can knit like a motherfucker.

[Erika]

Well those both help although I'm not too keen with patience either.

I quit smoking about 6 months ago and last month went home to see my family so I secretly started back up again. I hate going on trips to "the library" or "grocery store" to get a pack and smoke secretly while taking out the trash. I figured knitting would be good for that because I really need to quit again.

Would either of you have a good book to recommend for learning?

[smetchie]

I do but you have to IGNORE the cheesy picture on the cover and all the horrible 1980s patterns. It's a great book. I promise.

I Can't Believe I'm Knitting!

In addition to the basics, it has lots of pictures of how to do different decreases and buttonholes and bind-offs and is very easy to follow. It also has a good 2-needle mitten pattern.

[Erika]

That's ok Oddrun. Smoking makes you cool.

The cheesy picture makes me want it more. Thanks Gretchen. I don't know what a decrease is or a bind-off but I'm ready to make some mittens? They will slow my smoking I'm positive.

[smetchie]

Totally. It helped me. Drinking heavily also helped me a quit. But now I drink.

[Denell]

I really liked this book it has drawings for ssk, k2tog, etc. I needed the visual aids.

[Erika]

Huh? You quit drinking too?

Thanks Denell I'll check out that one as well. I do a lot better with visual aids myself. I do even better with someone actually showing me how to do it exactly (I'm not the smartest cookie), so we'll see how the books fare.

[smetchie]

I meant: Drinking helped me quit smoking. But now I drink.

[Erika]

Ah. I'll take drinking over smoking anyday.

Or would you rather be smoking? How long ago did you quit?

[smetchie]

No. Drinking is way better. Smoking is cooler, though. I quit on February 5th 2001 so nearly 10 years. But it really doesn't feel so great to say anymore since now I smoke sometimes.

[smetchie]

I went for a long time. But recently if I'm in a bar and someone is smoking, I'll bum one.

[Erika]

Smoking is cooler for sure. And really I've found it helps in so many situations. I think 10 years of no smoking absolutly deserves a smoke in a bar every once in a while, don't you Oddrun?

And now on to my new goal, heavy drinker! Yeah!

[smetchie]

THERE'S your pretty face again, Erika!

[Erika]

Thanks, but I already miss Mr. Ross.

I don't blame you. I quit smoking once. Now every single time I have a cigarette I can't even enjoy it because I feel so guilty.

[smetchie]

I used to watch The Joy of Painting on PBS when I was a kid. Instead of cartoons.

I think that's when my parents first knew something was wrong.

[Erika]

The Joy of Painting was the shit. I watched cartoons too though.

Since I quit and I knew how much better I felt and how much better my health was, then I felt like I was doing something horrible every time I smoked after that. Including now. And I still can't quit again.

That's tough though when the kids start talking about it. Maybe if you scratch their heads with a hammer they'll forget all about it.

[Erika]

Alfonso fucked me over and told me a new way to smoke and drink all in one fell swoop. I think this might be the beginning of my loss of smoking guilt.

[smetchie]

Does that actually work?

[smetchie]

Congratulations!!

[Erika]

I'm ashamed to say it was awesome. I had been drinking for a while before I tried it though, so it might need a sober test.

[Erika]

Is that true? Why doesn't that sound true? Where did you read it Oddrun?

[smetchie]

Erika wrote: "I'm ashamed to say it was awesome. I had been drinking for a while before I tried it though, so it might need a sober test."

You're lieing? That disgusting thing he put on your profile? I think that may have just taken all the romance out of smoking for me! I didn't think that was even possible!

[Erika]

Not the bong shit. Just dipping the tip of your cigarette into your drink before you smoke it.

Thanks Oddrun, I was firmly in the make believe world that smoking was OK again.

[smetchie]

that's what I meant. But he said dip the butt so I thought it was the sucking end (if you will). That sounds awful. Then again, how do you get drunk if its on the lit end?

[Erika]

Haha... sucking end.

Actually I tried it both ways. You have to let it dry out a little if you do the not sucking end. But even though the other way sounds gross it was good. Just don't look at it. DON'T look at it.

[Erika]

Honestly I don't know, I was already intoxicated. Maybe tonight needs to be test night. I've smoked since I was 16 and I have never ever seen a cigarette butt look the way it did after I had the booze on it. Ever. But if you want to quit - look at it.

[smetchie]

Sweet! The creep magnet avatar is back.

I got knitting needles through tsa. Whoo!

My phone is gonna die. Boo.

[Erika]

I don't know what tsa is. But whoo!
I'm getting knitting supplies tomorrow. Whoo! I'm gonna learn! Do you have any pictures of anything you've done? Also don't answer this now as your phone is probably dead.

[Reads with Scotch]

I abruptly started smoking again two months or so ago.




It is great. I feel like shit but I really love smoking.

[Erika]

How long had you quit?

I have to admit I really love it too. Except for the guilt thing.

[Reads with Scotch]

Not sure... I think two years. Maybe a year and a half. I really don't have a solid grasp on time. It could have all been a horrible nightmare and I never actually quit.

[Reads with Scotch]

After.... But as I say it all comes down to how you precieve time.