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message 1: by Brittomart (last edited Jul 30, 2010 05:24PM) (new)

Brittomart Where the only thing you're not allowed to say is "I didn't want to know that."

Read this thread at your own risk. In the Apropos OF Nothing thread, I wondered if I was about to share too much information. It was suggested that I make a TMI thread, so here it goes.

Here's the 2AM thought that helped inspire this thread:

I just came twice and then I basically inhaled this bowl of ice cream at two in the morning. Yep, my period is starting later today.

(It did.)

message 2: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Well stated, Britt!

message 3: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11669 comments Have I mentioned my dog's penis yet?

message 4: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11669 comments A friend asked if I could watch her two boys for a couple of hours today. While they were here, the younger one slipped into our toy room and pooped in his pants (he's two, but is potty training). He took the poop from his pants and tried to hide it under a toy truck. He then wiped his hands all over the rubber pads I keep on the floor in that room, and also on a couple of toys. When I found him, he was hiding behind the door, smiling, and touching things with his poopy little hands.

After a bath, a good hose-down of the toys and mats (including disinfectant), and a little talk about letting me know when he needs to go poo-poo, all was well.

We have both Lysol spray and Febreze to get rid of lingering odors. I chose Lysol for this one.

message 5: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17337 comments Mod
I have stinky toots tonight.

message 6: by Brittomart (last edited Jul 30, 2010 09:42PM) (new)

Brittomart Hooray for the edit button. I got a little too bold. It'll be our secret.

message 7: by Félix (last edited Jul 31, 2010 06:29AM) (new)

Félix (habitseven) As if you had to ask. (Nice save, Britt.)

message 8: by Cosmic Sher (new)

Cosmic Sher (sherart) | 2234 comments I really want to participate in this thread, and I just don't know if I can cross my good lil' proper Mormon upbringing to do so. I can do naughty & sexy & even shocking, but I just don't know that I can do potty humor/TMI without my Grandma Dorma's ghost breathing at me. (And she's a gusty breather!)

message 9: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11669 comments Cosmic Sher wrote: "I really want to participate in this thread, and I just don't know if I can cross my good lil' proper Mormon upbringing to do so. I can do naughty & sexy & even shocking, but I just don't know that..."

Go with naughty and shocking. Maybe tell about that time you were with the guy who was so small that.......

message 10: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Ah, Phil, that's awesome...I know that behavior...teh poop one, I mean.

Today my son stepped in dog barf and covertly rubbed it on a blanket on which the dogs sleep in the corner. He didn't think I saw, but I did, and I didn't say anything. I'll wash the blanket later.

message 11: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24281 comments Mod
Phil, that's hilarious. I love child-poop stories. And the perp was smiling! The GALL. I'm so glad that happened at your house and not mine.

Anyway, I said I probably wouldn't participate in this thread so I'm gone...

message 12: by Brittomart (last edited Jul 31, 2010 05:30PM) (new)

Brittomart Would he fuck me? God, I wish. Don't be afraid of the weight, boys.

message 13: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Boys will be boys.

message 14: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Boys have been boys, and I'm sick of them.

message 15: by RandomAnthony (last edited Jul 31, 2010 05:44PM) (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments I think sometimes guys, ahem, think they should be gentlemen and not try to fuck a girl they like, even if they want to do so and she does as well. Maybe he thinks he's doing the right thing, treating you respectfully, etc. I don't mean to sound like you've done anything wrong, Britt. Just sometimes the pace of a relationship, etc. can be confusing for guys, esp. younger ones.

message 16: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Haha wait. There's no boy interested in me. I just met a friend's roommate, and I was wondering would he fuck me or not. I wouldn't ever voice that; I'm not that forward, and I don't think he's that promiscuous.

I'm just generally frustrated at boys because they've always treated me like some......god, gender-neutral being. Like I have zero sexuality at all, and I'm just fed up. I mean, damn, it would be nice to be treated like a girl for once. I wish I could be in a relationship of any pace at all, but fuck it, I give up.

message 17: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Ah, got it...makes sense, Britt...

message 18: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Ah, I just had an epiphany.

Haha. How much is TMI for the TMI thread? Fuck it.

I think that's why I'm attracted to men who are over twice my age. Because they treat me like I have a fucking vagina. Granted, that is probably the only thing they want, but at least they want it. Not that I'd ever do anything like that though.

message 19: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments assumes Britt's friend requests will increase dramatically

message 20: by Brittomart (last edited Jul 31, 2010 06:16PM) (new)

Brittomart Hahaha, wait, should I delete that? I'm not trying to be that girl at all, I swear. I just need an outlet.

message 21: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) An electrical outlet?

message 22: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Zap!

message 23: by Cosmic Sher (new)

Cosmic Sher (sherart) | 2234 comments You know Britt, right before I met my dh I basically told the world "fuck it, I just want to fuck around & not worry about finding mr. right" and tried really, really hard to be that girl just for the fun of it. It was way harder than it seemed and I couldn't find hardly any of those guys to be crazy with. I think it's the universe's way of really fucking with our minds... or keeping us really horny & frustrated.

Phil... "Go with naughty and shocking." yea, not much to tell with that. He was too small so I didn't sleep with him again, end of story. Sorry guys, size does matter if it's under or over a certain dimension. But make us laugh and that aspect doesn't matter as much.

message 24: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart I don't think you're doomed. I hope I'm not doomed. I just don't want to turn 40, and one morning I have a 5 minute piece on GMA dedicated to me because I lost 200 pounds and finally got my first boyfriend.

message 25: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) love yourself and everything else falls into place....

message 26: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11669 comments One of my friends a couple of decades ago was a lady who was probably 150 lbs overweight. She was also one of the friendliest people I knew, and didn't seem to have problems getting dates. Additionally, she was adventurous in the sack (though I don't have personal knowledge) and liked sex A LOT.

If good sex is what you want, get out there and take it. There are plenty of non-creepy, non-fetishist guys out there who would LOVE to be with you. The caveat is that they don't all look like Brad or Denzel. Many of them look more like that somewhat lumpy, slightly nerdy guy from Lit class.

message 27: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart I like nerds! I'm turned off by guys that look too pretty.

message 28: by Cosmic Sher (new)

Cosmic Sher (sherart) | 2234 comments Phil, I think part of the problem with the non-creepy, non-fetishist, nerdy-cute guys out there is that if you're looking for something that is decidedly NOT of the long-term persuasion they don't usually fit the bill. They want to fit the bill but they usually are romantics at heart and expect a fuck-buddy relationship turn into something more. That was my experience (over and over and over). And many of them were too insecure for my taste to actually have a relationship with.

I do agree with ms. petra's sentiment about loving yourself, but it's not that cut & dried either. The weight thing is a hard one to get over the social stigma, but I also have seen women who have such confidence outwardly that it didn't seem to matter. I straddled that line a lot, and I think the better I felt about myself the more sensual vibes I put out the more men (& women) seemed attracted to me. But it's hard to get to that point when you don't feel sexy in the first place.

message 29: by Brittomart (last edited Aug 01, 2010 02:56PM) (new)

Brittomart Okay, so I just took my first birth control pill...ever. According to the reviews, I'm going to gain weight, be depressed, have no fucking sex drive, and have periods that last for months. God, help me. As soon as I stop wanting to touch myself, I'm not taking it.

message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

I was a little wary of this thread. However I think you guys have offered Britt with tremendous support.

Britt the side effects are just possible side effects, not everyone has them.

Can I tell my funny cat story now?

message 31: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Haha yes

message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

A friend had a friend who was not able to keep their cat as they were moving into an apartment. My kids had been nagging us for years to get a cat and it suited us to get an adult cat.

The cat arrived. His name is ‘Bulldog’. He seemed nice natured enough so we agreed to take him.

After he had settled in, he discovered one of my daughters stuffed animals, a small snow leopard (Snowie). Bulldog started to carry the thing around in his mouth like a kitten. It was the cutest thing we had ever seen. I had never really seen a cat with an attachment to a toy before.

The relationship between Bulldog & Snowie progressed. He started to hump it. This was shockingly amusing the first time it happened, the kids were not around. He was at that poor snow leopard every chance he got. It progressed to the stage where he needed an audience to get his rocks off. His favourite spot was the living room floor while we were watching television. At the time I wasn’t a hundred percent sure whether the kids knew what was going on. We always took the toy off him risking life & limb to rescue it. The toy is now safely locked away in the toy box, my daughter put it there. Poor Bulldog, he has never found a replacement.

Probably not really suited to TMI, but Phil's dog story reminded my of it. :)

message 33: by Cosmic Sher (new)

Cosmic Sher (sherart) | 2234 comments LOL I think it's entirely suitable Gail! Oh my.... :)

message 34: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) Cosmic Sher wrote: "Phil, I think part of the problem with the non-creepy, non-fetishist, nerdy-cute guys out there is that if you're looking for something that is decidedly NOT of the long-term persuasion they don't ..."
I struggled with my weight when I was young and my daughter struggles with her weight. What I realized later in life is exactly what you said about confidence. If I am confident and feel good about myself, I send out an aura that is unmatched by some bubbleheaded barbie. It has taken me a while to figure everything out and it is not cut and dried, but do what makes you feel sexy. Is it a manicure, getting your hair done, your clothes? When I was in my 20's I didn't really pay very much attention to my appearance because I thought that was self indulgent and shouldn't matter, but it does to a certain extent. Believe me I am not some fashionista, for God's sake I am a mail carrier, and that is far from glamourous. But getting my hair done is my indulgence and it makes me feel good about myself. My job is very physically demanding so I have shaped up by default. I feel better about myself. But it is for me, not for anyone else and that is the key. Also at my middle age, I have decided not to compromise as much as I did when I was younger. I know what I am looking for in a partner and I am not going to settle for less than I deserve again. If that means I fly solo for a while, so be it. I hear my daughter in Misha and Britt and it really breaks my heart because I know you ladies are selling yourselves short. You do not need a man to complete you. As I said your confidence and independence will have you turning guys away. Take the time to know yourselves and have fun doing the things you want to do. It really does all fall into place.

message 35: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart I want to believe it's all going to fall into place.

My problem is more than my weight. That's the one thing that I'm finally taking steps to gain control over. I went to the doctor last month and got some tests done to see if I qualify for this drug that curbs your appetite and helps you lose weight. My mom is on it, and she raves about it, but she didn't tell me that it's for pre-diabetes. My test results came back, and I don't qualify. It turns out that I'm healthy, just fat, so now I have to lose weight the hard way. But I can deal with that.

I think my real problem is that I crave male attention and approval. Maybe I didn't get enough of it from my dad, maybe it's from being the ugly best friend since elementary school, but I crave it, and I can't help it. I've tried to not obsess over it, but I don't know how not to. I've always had crushes on each of my male teachers. What makes me feel sexy? When a man smiles at me. When I wear something I hope will get a man's attention. And if I do, it makes me feel like I'm doing something the right way.

I don't know, maybe I'll get better. I hope so.

Thanks, everybody.

message 36: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) Britt, I was the same way at your age. The thing is you are seeking approval from someone else. Do you approve of yourself? Do you like yourself? That is the tough question. If the answer is no, then you need to fix what you don't like about yourself. If the answer is yes, then just enjoy college and your friends. Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Give yourself the attention you seek from others. It is a balancing game for sure, but your worth fighting for. :)
Now draw the names I need in bingo!

message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

You can't bribe her that way ms.petra, Shame on you.

message 38: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) :) JK!

message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

:) I Know!

message 40: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Well, someone is going to win either today or tomorrow, so I really need to start thinking of a prize.

How do y'all like the bingo game? Is anyone up for a round two when this one is over?

message 41: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) definitely! But i need to hit the sack.. work in the morning. TTFN.

message 42: by Cosmic Sher (new)

Cosmic Sher (sherart) | 2234 comments "do what makes you feel sexy"
That is my favorite motto of the month! And since it's Leo month, sexy is on high order. :D

message 43: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) agreement from a fellow Leo!

message 44: by Dr. Detroit (new)

Dr. Detroit | 6030 comments Britt wrote: "It turns out that I'm healthy, just fat, so now I have to lose weight the hard way. "

I fared reasonably well in the genetic crapshoot, blessed with the metabolism of an ADHD cheetah on crack, so by no means can I say I know what you're going through, but I ADMIRE you for having the courage to even try to push back from the table. I don't think I could do it. No willpower whatsoever.

You can do it! Think positive.

message 45: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments i'm glad this TMI thread is working out well, even though most of it isn't that TMI.

*pats self on back for suggesting it*

britt, i think you're great, for having the courage to be yourself with us, i know i could never be that open about my problems, or so determined to deal with them in a constructive way.

message 46: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) When I try patting myself on the back, my rotator cuff complains and jabs me with pain for a couple of weeks. Part of getting older, I guess.

message 47: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Paschen | 7131 comments Gail I loved your story about Bulldog. We adopted a 7-pound yellow Tabby, Roxanne, from the shelter a few years ago and she had recently had a litter of kittens. She was a teen-aged mom, I think. She came home from the shelter and discovered my daughter's Beanie Baby collection. She would pick one up and carry it around in her mouth, leaving it elsewhere in the house. I think she missed the kittens. She is not interested in the Beanies any more. Now she hunts chipmunks.

message 48: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart I feel like making out.

message 49: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Go ahead.

message 50: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart Haha, I need a partner for that.

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