Reason 101 Why I hate Miley Cyrus

[smetchie]

*gags*

[[deleted user]]

I have noticed lately that many celebrities, as well as “celebrities” think they’re deeper than most people. I guess being pretty and having no marketable skills (besides maybe waiting tables) makes you deep. Who knew?

[smetchie]

Shit I'll bet you anything MC doesn't even have table-waiting skills.

[Rusty]

I really don’t care what idiot kids say. And here are a few reasons I can barely muster hate for this particular oxygen-waster:

MC Timeline

2014: After a string of albums with lackluster sales, Miley releases a “Greatest Hits” album. Half of the songs included are actually new releases, because……welll……..you know.

2017: MC stages a very public breakdown, hoping it will generate some buzz. She comes out of rehab several months later, with a whole new attitude, new look, and a new album. But still, nobody cares.

2018, early 2019, late 2019, the entire year of 2020, and 2021: MC has genuine breakdowns and ugly scandals, the last one involving lots of Jack Daniels, prescription meds, a Burger King bathroom, and four or five of the Denver Nuggets.

2023: A rotund MC appears on the newest VH1 hit show, Let’s Watch Fat Has-Beens Try To Lose Weight, hosted by Ryan Seacrest. Between crying fits and bouts of uncontrollable rage, (during which she destroys tens of thousands of dollars worth of property) Miley does well. She loses a good amount of weight. She’s now at about a “thin” Delta Burke weight. Then she falls off the wagon. During one of the bi-hourly rolling blackouts (this is CA, after all) that lasts a little long, Fred Durst (who has managed to gain weight during the course of the show) convinces everyone that it’s the end of the world. Overwrought and hungry, the contestants devour Seacrest.

2023: Cyrus has the remaining fat liposuctioned, with money she borrows from the bank, claiming she's going to start a small business. She begs Heffner (now kept alive by nano-bots and constant penicillin injections) to let her do a centerfold. He reluctantly agrees, but later, realizing there's no interest in such a layout, he relegates Miley's shots to the back between a couple of slightly funny "real-life" anecdotes mailed in by shut-ins.

[smetchie]

The future looks bright.

[Kasia]

I hate that I don't know exactly who she is. I mean I've seen her name thrown left and right. I've even seen her face in number of things, but I cannot really picture her right now, nor can I think of what she's done. Music movies? Who cares.

I even hate the fact that I know this much about her. Like I need to clutter my mind with this useless information. Hate you MC! Die, die, die.

[[deleted user]]

It's Hannah Montana.

[Kasia]

Another thing that sounds vaguely familiar but I wish I knew nothing about.

[smetchie]

If there's anything you should be able to escape by living in Poland it's Hannah Montana.

[Kasia]

I hear about it, I guess if I tried I could watch it. I don't wanna. Don't make me.

[[deleted user]]

Disney Channel is the devil.

[smetchie]

That's what it took to drag you out of hiding, Kaput? Miley Cyrus?

[The Crimson Fucker]

ohhhhhhhhhhhh! so that's hannah montana!!! shit finally i get to know who she is!!!

[Reads with Scotch]

Rusty wrote: "I really don’t care what idiot kids say. And here are a few reasons I can barely muster hate for this particular oxygen-waster:

MC Timeline

2014: After a string of albums with lackluster sales,..."

this thread, topic included, is lame... the only redeeming factor is your post.

[smetchie]

@nick: why don't you come around more often and write some cool threads then? If we're lame, you're partly to blame.

[Reads with Scotch]

My action/in-action has no bearing on your lame-ness... I refuse responsibility for the state of your social ranking.

[smetchie]

All of it is completely your fault. All of it.

[[deleted user]]

And how.