This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
That I have to keep arguing as opposed to just shutting my door!
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I just ask them if they want a Watchtower magazine, which are readily available in most laundromats and barber shops. That usually ends it.
I just say "I'm not interested." over and over again until they leave. If they don't leave I just say it one last time through a tiny opening in the door barely large enough for my mouth as I shut it in their face.
Harry, you could always answer the doro in your underwear. maybe paint a pentegram on your chest?That way, you don't have to be rude and turn them away.
FYI, "doro" is Spanish for door. Or maybe it's Italian, I'm not sure.
FYI, "doro" is Spanish for door. Or maybe it's Italian, I'm not sure.
My house has three doors. I only use the side door, and anyone i want to see also uses the side door.* If anyone comes to the front door, i ignore them. Sometimes i'll look out the window, to let them know i see them and know they're there...then don't go to the door. Nobody ever comes to my front door that's not selling something, and i don't want any.Another option that i've been wanting to try, but haven't gotten around to because of the aforementioned not opening the door thing, is to claim total ignorance of the English language...in English. "Oh, i'm sorry, i don't speak English. I don't understand. Nope, not a word. No, i don't speak Spanish either. I'm sorry, i don't understand. I speak an obscure dialect of Tibetan No, you won't be able to find a translator, there's only 5 other people in the world who speak it, the other 4 live in Tibet, and 3 of them are Yetis."
*This did backfire on me once, when some JWs knocked on the side door.**
**Footnote!
hah!The JWs probably cased your house first to see which door you use.
I miss my JW that visited me at my old place. That lady was crackers!
If you need another taste, I can dig out my old bag and knock on your door!(as a former JW child, I know all the tricks including knocking on the more commonly used side door)
Awesome. I'm going to have some questions for you. I have a friend who was raised JW and he won't answer any of my questions. You won't be like that will you, Eh?
[should that be "will you, Eh!?" your name is kind of difficult in certain situations.:]
Gretchen wrote: "[should that be "will you, Eh!?" your name is kind of difficult in certain situations.:]"I am Eh!, but my nickname is Eh.
Oh alright. That's much easier thank you.
Okay, Eh, how about this one; do JWs have to wear mis-matched suits, or is it a fashion statement they each make independently?
Eh!, do they like the song "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle?
Eh! I have a friend who has a JW hairdresser. This hairdresser talked to said friend about God confirming his presence by having objects start talking. She specifically mentioned a rock, as in if a rock starts talking, that's God. I decided that was pretty badass and that if a rock ever DID talk to me, I'd probably think it was God and I'm a TOTAL non-believer. Then I realized those JWs had gotten in my head with their clever trickery. Did you learn how to do this too, or has that lady been sniffing too much hair dye?
That reminds me of the TV show "Wonder Falls" which I loved but got cancelled instantly. Inanimate objects talked to the main chick and told her to do stuff to help people. If she ignored them they would torment the living shit out of her until she cracked.
Hahaaaa! I love it! Okay, here goes:Rusty, JWs get their clothes off the clothing lines of people who aren't home. It's impossible to steal matching sets.
Montambo, that's the JW theme song! It is like a pep rally song, performed before the group splits off into pairs of knockers.
Kristina, I never made it to the advanced classes on trickery.
Harry, hear me out. After you refuse, and they refuse your refusal, ask them in to "win you over". With a smile on your face ask them to take a seat at the table. Offer them a drink... walking around all day must be tough; you know the fucking face of civility and all that, act all sympathetic and shit. Sit close to them... really close. Respond to every statement they make with childish excitement. Think a kid that just learned mommy and daddy are going to take them out of school 3 days early this week to go to six flags/Disney... Just to make the door to door asshole realize he messed up, every time you take a drink be sure to spray him a little... just a little spurt, maybe even dribble the beverage down your chin. And for the cherry on top.. stroke your chest ever so slutty like. With a smile, always with a smile.
Please do that, Harry, and report back.
When in doubt "It puts the lotion on it's skin... It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again."
It's a beautiful plan! It truly is. I'll let you know how it goes.
I knew I could count on you to do the right thing... Gretchen, take notes this is how you hone your evil/hateful traits.Just remember never get too friendly with anyone... you never know when you are going to have to kill them.
I can't be bothered to invite strangers into my home and make their life miserable. I'm too busy making my own family miserable. I'd rather just send them on their merry way. Live and let live, I say. I don't make it my business to cure the world of assholes, only to avoid them* as much as possible.*unless they amuse me. Amusing assholes are welcome in my world.
Damn I guess I'm out. So much for digging the Gretchen... never liked that one much anyway.
First it was Verizon. They were relentless in their door to door marketing of FIOS for a while. We had at least one a week at one point. I hate when people come to my door in general but I will usually be polite and listen to the opening pitch. But, when I say I'm not interested and you insist on pushing me, I can't just close the door on them...I feel the need to argue with these guys! WHY!? Close the door! Be done with it!
The Verizon guy asked why I had DirecTV and acted as if I were a moron for not having Verizon TV. He tells me, “It’s cheaper and better. It makes no sense to keep DirecTV.” I tell him I like it and will keep it. To paraphrase his response, “You’re an idiot and are wasting money” To paraphrase my response, “You’re a dick and I’m not going to buy you crap because of it.” This goes back and forth for several minutes until he finally shrugs and leaves. It got to the point where I had to restrain myself from stepping outside and smashing his little clip board over his head.
Last night, it’s the home remodeling/window replacement guys. He starts off very polite and professional. He made it seem like he was just introducing himself and the company and was happy to leave his brochure and a smile. NO!! After saying thanks, but I’m not getting new windows. He tells me that he understands it’s a tough time financially for a lot of people… WAIT! You little F’er! If I wanted to buy some damn window I would…times aren’t that tough! I just don’t WANT new windows. He starts writing my address down, asking for my name and phone number. When I refuse to give him my number he comments that his mom is the same way about giving out her phone number so asks for my email address instead. I refrained from telling him I had no problem getting his moms phone number and in fact the whole neighborhood had it. Instead I simply said you’re not getting any of my personal information, because I DON’T WANT YOUR WINDOWS!! So he backs off a bit and says, “well our team is out here working on one of your neighbors houses tomorrow and our boss could come by and give you prices. I tell the guy fine, he can leave them on my doorstep. Douchebag says, “well, will you be here?” THIS IS MY HOUSE MOTHER F*&%ER! Of course I’ll be here! I LIVE here!! Fuckwit responds, “They will just come by and take some measurements” The idiot who just can’t slam the door in someone’s face says, “I don’t want anyone knocking on my door, I don’t want them measuring shit, I don’t want to talk to you, them, or any of you swindler friends either! Go AWAY!”
Please God, give me the strength to not pummel the next door to door sales guy and/or the strength to just say “NO!” and close the door immediately!!