This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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I HATE when I barely make it to the bathroom

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The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments So I did it again I drank too many “sodas” and my phobia of public restrooms it’s kicking in… I’m running to the bus but of course is late!, I try to run home but guess what every single cross the street sign its conspiring against me. I get home… can’t find my keys, cant open the freaking doors, I’m trying the wrong keys!!!! Run to the bathroom and there’s somebody in there… with running water… the wait… the agony!!!!!! The looking at the ceiling asking God why me father???? Why have you forsaken me???? Then they finally they open the door I rush in barely manage to lower the zipper and BANG surprise the 3 streams of pee!!!!!!!! WTF! I hate it I hate it!


message 2: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) I hate that too! Right now, for some reason, I have to pee as soon as the first feeling comes. I am having to wear diapers right now, because I don't always make it. It depends on how close the bathroom is.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments Wait... I was just being funny... diapers... wtf! I rather take out my larger than average penis (don’t ask how larger exactly) and do it on a corner…



message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

I understand your loathing of public restrooms A., I share your pain!

Though I have peed in the street in Deep Ellum...it was drunken, post-concert pee. It seemed preferable to peeing in the club, and I knew I'd never make it back to Denton! You gotta do what you gotta do...(I've never tried diapers, I'd rather buy roid cream!)


message 5: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Mar 24, 2008 09:51PM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments amy, lol i forgot about the post concert pees =( buaaaaaaaaaaaa i miss going to concerts!!!!


message 6: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) Hey guys,

Come on! You don't think that I, too, hate the diaper thing, but it's better than wetting my pants.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments if you have that female bladder problem its cool... i just dont wanna know about it =(


message 8: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to gross you out, I was just going with the subject.


message 9: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) I was walking home from a bar not so long ago and decided to pee in the bushes in front of a baptist church. (The same baptist church where they make me vote, incidentally...) I said, Take That, People Who Use Jesus Against Me!!! But then I peed on my pant leg and still had to walk the rest of the way home. Karma.


message 10: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Seth, you have some strange way of making me laugh uncontrollably. And all you had to do this time was capitalize the word God. How is it that you can float across time and space (well, space at least) and zap my brain the way you do? I suspect that it is some sort of magic given you by Faerie, and that you neither want it nor know how to control it.


message 11: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (ingenting) Here you go Alfonso:
http://www.bladderbuddy.com/
Now you never have to worry about using public restrooms again!


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

No...Don't do it man! Sedaris talks about that thing, and how he didn't think it through. The hot pee against your thigh, and walking around smelling of steaming pee! It's funny as hell to read him go on about it, but...it's not good dude, not good at all.

Michelle, (shakes head disappointedly...you know, like yer mom when you were a kid.)


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments LMAO!!!!!!! Looks like i'm not the only one with this problem! still i aint walking around with a bag of pee!!! ewwwww....


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Um...no...as much as I hate public restrooms, I will use them before I pee myself! I will (as proven earlier) pee in the street before I pee myself!!


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments guahahahh KD, once i was peeing in public... and a friend was looking out for me (back in my country you can get in big trouble for that) and lucky me... there was a police car passing by and when my friend told me i freak out and try to hide the tools of my crime...well long story short i had pee all over me not a fun day... not a fun day at all!


message 16: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (ingenting) Did you guys read the FAQ's?
"Q. What happens when the bag gets heavy?
A. The two hospital sheet clamps that hold it to your boxer shorts have been tested holding 32 ounces of liquid for 72 hours without slipping."


"Q. Is it conspicuous to wear?
A. When worn on the inside of the leg and with casual fit pants it is not detectable."


1. What if you wear briefs?
2. What about when you wear it outside the leg?



The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments Michille do you have one...? i think you trying to lower your cognitive resonance here


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

KD, Why?

Better?


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments amy a lot better... i watch the video yesterday funny but creepy.... that picture was weird!


message 20: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (ingenting) Why would I have one? I'm not a man.

That's the last time I try to help your ass. Have fun holding your pee in public!


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments it says that women can wear it too...


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

Just because a guy wears make-up does not make him creepy...Eddie is brilliant, and funny and has really amazingly blue eyes. I'd date him! As long as he liked girls, I can't compete with a guy, I don't have the, uh, equipment.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments Donald.... ewwwww


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay, Don...I was expecting him to drink it!


message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

I love those alternate endings!


message 26: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) There is something to be said for slinging your rump out the window and letting fly.

Obviously this works best in the back seat and you need to get your butt out pretty far.

The road to and from Alaska and in between Georgia and Tennessee probably still contain minute traces of my DNA.


message 27: by Lori (last edited May 10, 2008 12:38AM) (new)

Lori Men have it far easier than women do when it comes to having to find a discreet place outside, like in a park with no bathroom. I've always been jealous of that! You don't even have to pull down your pants.

That is the only time I have penis envy. Otherwise I sure wouldn't want anything swinging between my legs!


message 28: by Lisa (new)

Lisa a) There's a road between Georgia and Tennessee that can be identified as being "to Alaska"???

b) I'm fine with most public restrooms. But dirty, dark, creepy gas station restrooms freak the shit out of me. If I have to get the key, go outside again, walk to the back of the building (facing a huge agricultural field filled with rats and corn snakes, I'm sure), then unlock the door and go into a tiny, dark, concrete closet that smells like piss and death and has walls splattered with shit, I'm just going to hold it (in terror) for another hundred miles until I can find a clean, bright gas station with a squishee machine and a big, indoor restroom with six stalls and clean floors. And once I'm done, I'll hand the cashier the key on a hubcap from the last gas station and thank them for their time.


message 29: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Those were two distinct routes

To and from Alaska (from starting in California)

And (the operative word)

Between Georgia and Tennessee

Sheesh.


message 30: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | -1 comments O lordy, I will pee anywhere. Nothing really creeps me out about unloading some bodily waste in a filthy dark gas station bathroom. I don't sit, I don't touch, and I do a great big wiggle to keep the drips at bay. I'd always rather pee outside (like between parked cars) than deal with the whole gas station rigamarole, however.


message 31: by Not Bill (new)

Not Bill Worst road trip of my life last year....driving to So Cal with a case of food poisoning. I pulled over and ran to what I could barely recognize as a very scary bathroom. I barely had to time to drop trou and squat before I hosed the interior of the stall with the entire contents of my bowels....or what passed for contents. I teared up as much from the unbelievable stench as from the gut-wrenching pain. I had to avert my gaze from the gas station attendant upon exiting.


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

I hate it when I dump in my pants. It sucks.


message 33: by Asia (new)

Asia there's something called old people diapers....


message 34: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | -1 comments I almost always wait too long to go. I used to say that I would be in those diapers before I was 30. Now I'm 30. I once had a catastrophe involving poo in the Disneyland parking lot.


message 35: by Lori (new)

Lori Sally! I was just coming here to post a similar thought! I find myself holding in my pee til I'm about to explode, even at home. Oh, I'll just finish one other thing before I go pee. And then another thing. Until I'm practically peeing in my pants. wtf? How long does it take anyway?

My gyn once told me women are very prone to do this, but men? When they gotta go, they just go. Why do women do this?


message 36: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | -1 comments My mom used to always greet me with the same phrase "Don't they have bathrooms at school, Sally?" But the thing is, I would go then too, or I didn't have to then, etc. It's really not that I'm picky about where/when I go. I actually think it's a relaxation of ahhh, finally home that my insides, bladder, sphincter, colon, whatever relaxes and I have to go right now right NOW!

I dunno, but it is definitely a thing with me and other women I know.


message 37: by Lori (new)

Lori Yep, funny how when I arrive home with keys in hand that I have to start doing the holding in the pee dance!

I once overheard a woman saying to another woman, isn't it almost organismic when you are about to explode and you take that pee? I cracked up cause it's true!


message 38: by Mama'sGurl115 (new)

Mama'sGurl115 I KNOW!!! that is SO annoying!! u have to go SO BAD and then all u get is enough to fill a water bottle lid. ALL THAT FOR THIS!!?? i mean come on!! lol :)


message 39: by Nessiebear (new)

Nessiebear Well the worst is you have been holding it ALL day long, rush into the bathroom, finish your business and reach for the toilet paper and........nothing is left. Then you turn to see if you can reach the cabinet where there is more, and if you can find none and have to yell for someone to bring you more.


message 40: by Erin (new)

Erin yes times like this make me sad


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