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⌇вяσкєη ωιη∂σωs, sтαιηє∂ glαss sкιη⌇
message 12001:
by
[deleted user]
(new)
Jul 07, 2019 09:18AM
5 days till surgery. I’m gonna jot down my fears and my excitements to try and sort out my brain.
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Fears:
•Surgery. Just the whole thing.
•Apparently it’s kinda major like a lot of work.
•I’ve watched videos and it’s kinda invasive.
•I wake up during surgery.
•my nipples look even worse.
•The sharpie they use gets tattooed on in the process of slicing and stitching.
•My blood is thin and I bleed out and die.
•Surgery. Just the whole thing.
•Apparently it’s kinda major like a lot of work.
•I’ve watched videos and it’s kinda invasive.
•I wake up during surgery.
•my nipples look even worse.
•The sharpie they use gets tattooed on in the process of slicing and stitching.
•My blood is thin and I bleed out and die.
Excitements:
•VN bought me a cute front clasp bra.
•Back pain who?
•Neck lain who?
•Underboob rashes who?
•Shoulder cuts and bruises from straps who?
•I can purchase reasonably priced bras.
•I will look thinner bc I can wear my actual clothing size.
•I can go running for fun again.
•My prom and homecoming dresses for senior year will be so much easier to find.
•VN bought me a cute front clasp bra.
•Back pain who?
•Neck lain who?
•Underboob rashes who?
•Shoulder cuts and bruises from straps who?
•I can purchase reasonably priced bras.
•I will look thinner bc I can wear my actual clothing size.
•I can go running for fun again.
•My prom and homecoming dresses for senior year will be so much easier to find.
Anyway Shiv made me cry bc I said that there needed to be a south Asian princess bc our kids deserve the representation and he told me that they’d be more white than south Asian anyway.
I was like THEY STILL GET REPRESENTATION YOU DUMB HOE
And then I cried bc my children are being told by their father that they aren’t brown or white enough.
Bruh I don’t know how I went from a literal far right hoe to being more liberal than My California man.
Like we used to have issues with politics getting between us bc I was so far right and he was pretty left. Oh how the tables table.
My Twitter is like my goodreads but with people I know irl
I’m wearing a button up donut shirt and dirty sweatshirts and my family forgot I just had surgery and I’m DYING out here
Like I’m like “guys please slow down. Guys I haven’t walked this much.” So now I’m on a bench in the back of Walmart.
I need water but I can’t move I’m so tired.
Should I wear a white sari to my wedding?
Cuz like traditionally they’re red but Christians in India oft do white
White sarees are pretty af tho? And like idk like I just??? They don’t care if we have a white Christian wedding but I do?
Like I’m going to have beautiful brown children and I want them to be proud of who they are and how do they do that if they look back at their parents wedding and see people who aren’t?
Should I work on my novels? Since I’m basically bedridden?
Haha jokes on y’all I probably want going to anyway
I wrote this literally 8 months ago why is it so FUCKIGN CRINGEY
I just got a giant needle shoved inside of me and they sucked a bunch of stuff out and maybe it’s dumb that I’m crying but I keep calling and you’re not there and I’m so alone.
I really need to sleep but like?? I also just want a hug??
My closest friend lives 300 miles away but it’s like 6 hours because Colorado traffic
It’s a 12 hour drive to see my boyfriend and friends there. I’d have to drive 22 hours to see J.
Like even a video call helps but god I’m so alone
I wish someone had been there.
Nobody just steps out in front of a semi but he did
And on Monday my brother in laws coworker did the same thing
And it’s like why does the world push people so much you know?
You don’t walk into oncoming traffic on a freeway unless you don’t have any other choice.
At least it feels like you don’t.
I did have my first real convo with Shiv about when I move there.
Idk why but NF posting so much makes me feel a strange loneliness and I don’t know what’s wrong with my brain tbh
Why am I always so lonely lately
The last week of July will always be the worst
Remind me who let me be alone with my thoughts right now?
Damn what a dumb hoe lol who let them be in charge
Oh yeah me I let them be in charge
I don’t particularly want to keep living
But I have no pressure to die
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
A Midsummer Night’s Dream (other topics)The Great Gatsby (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
