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Will Once - somewhere and back again
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Patti (baconater)
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Jan 16, 2016 05:31AM
I'd be wary of paper cuts.
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Will wrote: "Here's the next installment, in which Mickey wants a shazam and the Devil provides one ... after a fashion.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0..."
Well done - your devil is getting almost, well, human in fiendishness.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "I'd be wary of paper cuts."Is that what they call "coming into some money?"
Just a thought.
Alicia - glad you're enjoying it!
I think you really will have to get young Mickey into print
Will wrote: "I feel the need for some more calculations! Excuse me while I get my spreadsheets out.By my (very rough) reckoning, the British public have paid around £120 billion to the National Lottery over t..."
So glad I packed it in a couple of years ago. Just wish I'd done it sooner.
Patti wanted cash porn, so here it is. For adults only, this is money fornication ...https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0...
Will wrote: "Patti wanted cash porn, so here it is. For adults only, this is money fornication ...https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0..."
And then they have another, and another, and another. Rubbing two pennies together leads to a whole lot more little...
Lesson: never go into capital.
Loved the part about 'whose turn it is.'
Should be read to children to teach them the facts of life ;-)
I've just gone and done a silly thing. My wordpress dashboard told me that someone got to my blog today via the search engine term "generous tits".This tickled my curiousity. Not so much that someone might google such a term. I think we all know what that means. No, the thing that intrigued me was how google in its wisdom would send such a search in my direction. My blog occasionally strays into the realm of smut but never (I hope) pornography.
So I had to try for myself. I googled the term "generous tits". And, no, I don't recommend that you try this for yourself.
And what google gave me was page after page of ... well, I am sure you can guess what it gave me. I didn't need to click on any of the links. The descriptions were enough. But no links to my blog.
I tried again. This time I searched for "generous tits will once". And there I was as the second suggestion, for a blog I wrote about tennis advertising by way of bosoms.
This prompted another thought. What on earth did they type in to their search engine? Do folks really want such specific filth that they type in a whole sentence detailing exactly what they want to see? Is that how it works?
Then it struck me. Google watches what you search for and will tailor its adverts to show you products that it thinks you want to buy.
And I have just typed "generous tits" into google. Twice.
I dread to think what adverts it is going to show me from now on. I remember searching for "star wars onesies" as a joke and getting month after month of Chewbacca and storm trooper PJs.
Generous tits. How the hell am I going to explain that one to the Mem?
Ha!Laughed so much Dave took my iPad off me to read it himself.
LOL! Yes, you have to be careful what you type into Google :-D
I did that inadvertently when lady wife was told by daughters to buy herself a nice M&S jumper for Christmas. So she went on line to look at themFor weeks after I got an endless stream of M&S knicker adverts!
I wrote a blog about it called M&S knicker adverts and it gets a steady trickle of hits over the years :-)
Jim - that's an intriguing thought. Because you wrote a blog about it, the internet search engine bots will keep on directing people to your blog, rippling through future history like a tear in the space-time continuum. If we talk about something often enough the internet notices and tells other people that we are talking about it. There was a weird thing on the BBC News website where people started talking about Leslie Nielsen being dead as part of the current spate of celebs dropping off their perches. The only thing was that he had actually died in 2010.
Then the website started to show that news item as a "trending" story and people thought it was current. More about it here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trend...
Odd. Most odd. The internet is a weird place sometimes.
Anyway, it's about time we had another Mickey story. This is the tale of Mickey's new trousers.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0...
Will wrote: "Jim - that's an intriguing thought. Because you wrote a blog about it, the internet search engine bots will keep on directing people to your blog, rippling through future history like a tear in the..."Bacon.
Bacon bacon bacon
Bacon
I think there's an art to blog post titles.
It's a watch pocket, innit?
My watch lives on my desk. I dont need a pocket for it.
Will wrote: "Anyway, it's about time we had another Mickey story. This is the tale of Mickey's new trousers.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0..."
I have the feeling Mickey is going to outwit the devil one of these days, but it will purely be by accident.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "It's a watch pocket, innit?"Not sure. I think the "pocket in a pocket" in jeans is for tickets.
Alicia wrote: "Will wrote: "Anyway, it's about time we had another Mickey story. This is the tale of Mickey's new trousers.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0..."
I have the feeling Mic..."
Perhaps, but I bet he still gets bit on the arse in the end,
I have had several pairs of jeans in which that 'pocket' was sewn up. In other words, purely decorative. And others in which it was too small to hold anything but a sim card!
Alicia/ Patti - ah, but that would be spoiling the ending! It will all come to a head with the great riddle-off. I know how it ends, but I'm not telling.We might never get to meet Rosie though, like "er indoors" from Minder or Charlie from Charlie's Angels.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "What sort of tickets?"Hmm ... maybe I was wrong. I've done a bit of googling (not looking for generous tits this time) and apparently that pocket was originally as a ticket pocket in traditional trousers or jackets and was used for tram tickets, opera, theatre, cloakroom, etc, but in jeans it is reckoned to be where cowboys kept their fob watches.
My dad had a favourite joke about a certain talcum powder that was advertised as making you 'feel rosy all over'. And the guy who went into a shop and bought some, then came to the counter and asked 'Where's Rosy?'
Will wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "What sort of tickets?"Hmm ... maybe I was wrong. I've done a bit of googling (not looking for generous tits this time) and apparently that pocket was originally as a tic..."
Damn, I'm cleva.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "Bacon.Bacon bacon bacon
Bacon"
Bacon is the perfect food. If I had to pick ONE food to eat for the rest of my life, it would be bacon.
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "My dad had a favourite joke about a certain talcum powder that was advertised as making you 'feel rosy all over'. And the guy who went into a shop and bought some, then came to the counter and aske..."Ah, yes, that's a variation on the Snow White joke. Apparently she woke up one day feeling grumpy. Until the other dwarves complained.
Alicia wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "Bacon.Bacon bacon bacon
Bacon"
Bacon is the perfect food. If I had to pick ONE food to eat for the rest of my life, it would be bacon."
Alicia, I believe we are become bosom friends.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "Alicia, I believe we are become bosom friends."That would be lovely, but I still get at LEAST 50% of the bacon.
Sigh. I don't think there's really enough in the world.
I've discovered the wonder of Hormel bacon bits (in the States - don't know what you guys have), real bacon crumbled with some of the fat removed. We put it in eggs, salads, sandwiches, quiches, quesadillas... So easy. So fast. So yummy. Ready instantaneously. Buy it in restaurant-size bags.
Taking a break from Mickey and the Devil, here's a musing about burgers. With a bit of bacon thrown in just for Patti.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0...
A) A burger should NEVER be eaten with a knife and fork. Neither should pizza, nor chicken wings. The utensils suck out the flavour.B) A martini should ALWAYS be stirred, never shaken. Shaking bruises the gin.
C) There wasn't nearly enough bacon in that post.
Okay ... the next post will be about bacon. The piggy kind, not Francis or Kevin. Any special requests? Fried or grilled? Butties or wrapped around sausages?
I am currently eating breakfast. 2 and a half rashers of bacon, microwaved for 3 and a half minutes and then rolled in a wrap . The roll is then folded in half so both the open end are pointing upwards. Then I eat it from the top down.
Nope, I just stick with what works so I can do it when I'm not awake yet.
Yeah, Dave does the same. I prefer being awake,
It takes me a while to wake up fully. I am more or less there now.
Just for Patti, today's Mickey and the Devil story is entitled "Mickey gets a lardon."Fnar fnar.
https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0...
Thank goodness you ended the post before the milking began.
Got to leave some things to the imagination.
Will wrote: "Just for Patti, today's Mickey and the Devil story is entitled "Mickey gets a lardon."This MIckey is a village boy, and doesn't understand farm animals?
Excellent, Will. Excellent. And where did you get that lovely picture of golden eggs?
Mickey is indeed a farm boy, but very gullible in the way of the world. He's so lazy that he doesn't pay much attention to anything other than Rosie.The picture of eggs was just a quick google. Type in something that you need a picture for, then choose the images tab.
Mickey goes horse racing, and the devil explains the secret of gambling.https://willonce.wordpress.com/2016/0...
I've placed a bet once in my entire life. Canada against Wales in a rugby match. I put a tenner on Canada.I didn't win.
Most folk who bet regularly don't win. Even if you get the outcome you were betting for, you will generally not beat the odds set by the bookies.The thing that gets my goat at the moment is all this online inplay betting on sports events. Who will score the first goal. What the final score will be. That sort of thing.
One thing you can bet on is that the bookies will have calculated the true odds of each of these eventualities. They now keep very detailed stats of every game that is played, so they have a good idea what the odds are. But the odds they offer the punter (who doesn't have all these statistics) are much worse than the true odds.
It's all one big con.
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