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message 501: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Ehrhardt (aliciabutcherehrhardt) | 4845 comments M.T. wrote: "Why would you have kids if you didn't want to interact with them? ..."

Accidents happen. Circumstances change. Good intentions aren't enough. People get addicted to drugs or alcohol or... and become very bad parents.

And letting the State take those kids and rear them isn't a panacea - they have to depend on foster parents.

Even reasonable parents get overwhelmed, and some have no resources.


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments Sadly MT, a lot do it to get benefits, houses etc, saw some sights in my time at the DSS. That's certainly a way to learn a lesson Patti


message 503: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Yeh, I read a really good book called Freakonomics, it’s about looking at stats in a different way. They were looking at crime rates in the US and linking it to abortion. The theory that once abortion became legal, people who got into trouble didn’t bring up unwanted kids, who knew they were unwanted and turned to crime. On the other hand, you have the barbaric US health system where, according to a Doctor’s blog I read, it’s quite usual for someone who has an unplanned pregnancy to have an abortion because their health insurance doesn’t cover pregnancy or childbirth.

Truth of it is, I’m sure that many damaged people pass their damage on to the next generation, even when they don’t intend to.

Cheers

MTM


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments M.T. wrote: "Yeh, I read a really good book called Freakonomics, it’s about looking at stats in a different way. They were looking at crime rates in the US and linking it to abortion. The theory that once abort..."

That last sentence is so true


message 505: by David (new)

David Edwards | 417 comments This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin


message 506: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 16799 comments It's a society pressure, to be viewed as fully successful you have to have the high-flying job and the perfect family (or appearance of). A friend of mine was married to a guy with that mentality, he wanted the family to be able to show them off but he didn't want to be a dad. He now has no contact with either of his sons through court order because of his manipulative and abusive behaviour towards them. Thankfully their mum isn't like that.

You can see it in the way people automatically assume couples will have children. It's a standard question for non-mothers to be asked, especially if they have recently been married. More people should really think about whether or not they actually want kids before they have them. Although, as stated, circumstances change. Having kid is just what you do.


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments That's also very true Kath, and partly why I don't want to have children. I do think that we need to change as a society, we are expected to get married, buy a house, good job, car and have children, but it isn't for everyone - I've often thought of saying I can't have children rather than I don't, at least people seem to have given up asking about relationships. Poor children Jud, at least they have a good mum.


message 508: by David (new)

David Edwards | 417 comments Desley (Cat fosterer) wrote: "... we are expected to ... buy a house ..."

I don't think anyone is expected to buy a house any more in London :(


message 509: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Ehrhardt (aliciabutcherehrhardt) | 4845 comments If it's anything like San Francisco or New York City, buying a house in the city is prohibitively expensive.


message 510: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Jud wrote: "It's a society pressure, to be viewed as fully successful you have to have the high-flying job and the perfect family (or appearance of). A friend of mine was married to a guy with that mentality, ..."

I've had mums ask me about my children. On several occasions I've said something like 'after dealing with your's all day, I haven't the energy to deal with any of my own'.


message 511: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments David wrote: "Desley (Cat fosterer) wrote: "... we are expected to ... buy a house ..."

I don't think anyone is expected to buy a house any more in London :("


It is slightly cheaper than Cambridge. ;-) UK Cambridge, I mean.

Love the Larkin poem, I’d forgotten about it.

Cheers

MTM


message 512: by M.T. (last edited Jun 28, 2018 11:36AM) (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments I used to tell people I couldn’t have kids. I thought they were fucking impertinent to ask and deserved to be made to feel a bit shit about it, if only for the sakes of the other women they might not ask from that point on.

Personally, I wanted children when I was young but once my friends and family started having kids I was just like, Lordy no! They were hard to deal with. You’d go see them, the kids would never go to bed, completely dominate the conversation and shower you with ear piss, there’d be no quiet time and you’d get home and just sleep for a day.

Plus, McOther was adamant he’d never have them. Ever. The same way he was adamant he’d never fall in love or get married. I just had to decide if it was as much bollocks as the first two and if not whether I wanted him enough to not have kids. I did.

Then I got pregnant by mistake and we lost the baby almost as soon as we found out and were both very sad. McOther decided he did want a kid after all and something was switched on in me; I knew I’d implode if I didn’t have a child after that. So we had a go, failed and the day we gave up we had a drunken bunk up and along came McMini.

Once I had a child of my own, I realised that different people bring up their kids different ways and that what works for someone else may not work for you. It helped that I had a kid who needs time alone and isn’t a morning person, like me. We’re a perfect fit. It also helped that I didn’t have to be constantly on the go and doing things to keep two fighting siblings occupied enough to not fight.

I am also glad I had my lad late, so I was confident and robust enough to hear all the people offering me unwanted advice take the good bits and ignore the rest ... or tell them to fuck off! ;-)

My mum brought me up to never ever ask people why they have no children. She said it would make some people very sad. So I never did. Over the years, the odd person has volunteered the information without my asking, usually in tears, so I know that she was right.

Cheers

MTM


message 513: by M.T. (last edited Jun 30, 2018 04:45AM) (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments I've set myself up for a complete lashing today by going uncomfortably close to politics in a discussion about editorial bias, or at least, our inability to allow for it it anymore.

https://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/06/30/lo...

Enjoy.


message 514: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Enjoy it, I did.

Dave's year group did an eight week unit on understanding the media last year.

Schools need to be doing more of that.


message 515: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Enjoy it, I did.

Dave's year group did an eight week unit on understanding the media last year.

Schools need to be doing more of that."


Just give them links to our blogs, we'd learn the little beggars :-)


message 516: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Funny you should say that. I've quoted snippets of your blogs many times over the years.

Which reminds me...

I may be leading an after school activity next year about writing, so I may be calling on you authory types to Skype with munchkins.

Or I may lead a book group with them. Dunno yet.


message 517: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Funny you should say that. I've quoted snippets of your blogs many times over the years.

Which reminds me...

I may be leading an after school activity next year about writing, so I may be calling..."


how do time zones fall?
Also how about the suggestion of letting them reader writer blogs and stories and such?


message 518: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Ehrhardt (aliciabutcherehrhardt) | 4845 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Which reminds me...

I may be leading an after school activity next year about writing, so I may be calling..."


What age groups?


message 519: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Dunno yet. Upper primary, I hope. 7-10 year olds.


message 520: by Patti (baconater) (last edited Jun 30, 2018 07:56AM) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Jim wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "Funny you should say that. I've quoted snippets of your blogs many times over the years.

Which reminds me...

I may be leading an after school activity next year about wr..."


Five and half hours ahead there. So an ASA would occur in the morning here.

I think the language level of the blogs may be a bit high. Will have to see.


message 521: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Ehrhardt (aliciabutcherehrhardt) | 4845 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Dunno yet. Upper primary, I hope. 7-10 year olds."

I'd read Jane Eyre by that age, I think, but most kids wouldn't.


message 522: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments English will be their second or third language, for most.

I'll know more after I get to know them.


message 523: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments I really can't wait. :D


message 524: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Ehrhardt (aliciabutcherehrhardt) | 4845 comments Good to see excitement in teachers.


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments Interesting blog. Glad you are getting excited about corrupting your new pupils Patti


message 526: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Patti, happy to help with anything you think I can help with. K’Barthan one and two would work but three and four might be a bit dark. Then again so is Harry Potter and my nephew had read those by the age of 8.

Glad the blog went down well and yes, news appreciation would be a good topic in schools. I think they’re beginning to realise that some kind of grounding needs to be done before young folk head onto social media and there is stuff taught about fake news etc at McMini’s school in Health and Social Education classes.

Cheers

MTM


message 527: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Tallis would provide excellent career guidance!
Benor on the other had might not be for the immature or excitable :-)


Rosemary (grooving with the Picts) (nosemanny) | 8590 comments It was a misprint, you know, that Larkin poem. Actually read “They tuck you up”


message 529: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Mwahahahargh! Yeh right. ;-)


message 530: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 16799 comments This has totally passed me by. I now get why some people buy 2 or 3 different news papers!


message 531: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Jud wrote: "This has totally passed me by. I now get why some people buy 2 or 3 different news papers!"

I'd love the time to read them :-)

I just make do with being opinionated and cynical


message 532: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 16799 comments Nothing wrong with that, Jim.


message 533: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Jud wrote: "Nothing wrong with that, Jim."

Probably better than being self-opinionated and cynical :-)


message 534: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Cynical? You?

You're as cynical as I am sarcastic.


message 535: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments I apologised about it to somebody and said that cynicism is an industrial disease in agriculture.
She just looked at me and said 'no Jim, it's an entry qualification' :-)


message 536: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Mwahahahrgh! Like it Jim.

I have done a blog post today, there's even an excerpt from a short I'm putting the finishing touches to: https://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/07/07/wr...

Woot!


message 537: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments I have some McMini-isms for you today. Among other things. Enjoy.

https://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/07/21/chip/


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments I do love the McMini-ism's - I like you trying to be respectful but saying bugger to the priest!!! :-)


message 539: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Cheese nightmare!

Hehehehe


message 540: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Desley (Cat fosterer) wrote: "I do love the McMini-ism's - I like you trying to be respectful but saying bugger to the priest!!! :-)"

We had a session where we made a Fridge with lots of good things in it as a metaphor for ... something the kingdom of god? Something like that. I made the fridge while they made the food. I wrote ‘SMEG’ across the door and the vicar started giggling.

I said I’d bought a smeg oven because I found it so hilarious. Nobody knew what smeg was ... except for me and the vicar.


message 541: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Cheese nightmare!

Hehehehe"


Yep, indeed.


message 542: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Gingerlily saw this title

We decided it was more likely to be one of yours than one of mine :-)

"Derelict Space Sheep"


message 543: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments I can just see it, entangled in an abandoned satellite, mewling pitifully.

Needs to be drug out backward with a sonic space crook.


message 544: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments So that's Mary so utterly distracted that she loses here place in the four other books she's writing :-)


message 545: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Yeah, we're kind like that.


message 546: by M.T. (new)

M.T. McGuire (mtmcguire) | 8051 comments Jim wrote: "So that's Mary so utterly distracted that she loses here place in the four other books she's writing :-)"

I can’t even keep up with my own thread! Let alone my novels. The shorts are good though. It’s easy to make up stories about The Pan of Hamgee delivering things although I’ll have to be careful not to make them too samey.

I might have to switch to non-fiction for the holidays while my brain melts.

Cheers

MTM


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 12614 comments Sorry you have had such a bad week, and hope you can find a good solution to the finance issue. Your last bullet point did bring a tear to my eye, I did wish that for my nan


message 548: by M.T. (new)


message 549: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments I did, a lot of very useful stuff in there


message 550: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21813 comments Stuck it on facebook because people will find it useful


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