Dwayne Fry - Fifty PLUS Free eBooks!

[Lyra]

Jane wrote: "Pompoem, pompoem, pompoem

This writing, said Dwayne, is a chore
I've been at it a fortnight or more
The rogues and the suckers
Are obstinate f****rs
And they treat me like I was a whore

This wasn..."

Haha! Love it.

[Nat]

Dwayne wrote: "Nat wrote: "Sounds good then! Yeah, longer introspective works don't work for me. I like short introspective, but there is only so much in the narrator's head I can do with nothing actually 'happen..."

Hahaha! Thanks for the warning. :) I do appreciate your honesty! *Tips hat*

I don't have enough books out to want to go and rewrite things, but I could understand the urge.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Jane wrote: "Pompoem, pompoem, pompoem

This writing, said Dwayne, is a chore
I've been at it a fortnight or more
The rogues and the suckers
Are obstinate f****rs
And they treat me like I was a whore

This wasn..."

Simply marvelous, Jane! Hugs!!

[Christina]

Giggle

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Jane wrote: "This wasn't so easy because I had publication rhyming with mast*******n masturbation in my head. And it would not go away... "

Jane, Jane, Jane.

First, the poem is lovely and funny.

Second, we're adults here. Adults who swear like children. So, enough with the fucking censorship.

Third, there is a whole huge section in the chapter of Suckers & Rogues I was editing today about masturbation, if that will help you complete a poem.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

*rolling on the floor laughing my ass off*

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

M.L. Roberts wrote: "I have to admit, I agree about the shorter length for ebooks, 40-60K words, but that cover for Suckers and Rogues has (to me) an epic feel about it..."

I will be on vacation in a week. Three weeks off! (But, for now, I'm stuck - eight hours into a 72 hour shift - yes, I can hear the tiny violins playing sad songs). Okay, sad story over. One of the things I want to do while I am off is to learn how to set up paperbacks. I think my novels may work better as paperbacks than ebooks (although they would still be available in both). Also, I would like to start donating them to local libraries and seeing if I can get them on the shelves of local book stores.

I love and hate the cover. I think it's a fantastic photo and the three kids do resemble a major character and two fairly minor characters. But, I keep wanting to tweak around with it, see if I can give it a little more character. I tried the other day and it looked... blue. And dumb. I will keep messing with it and see what I can do.

[Jane]

Well. Dwayne did say

Will Dwayne ever achieve publication?
Or fall victim to procrastination
He worries and fumbles
And sentences jumbles
Is it editing or masturbation

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

*applause*

*standing ovation*

[Jane]

Dwayne wrote: "*applause*

*standing ovation*"

*attempts to look humble whilst grinning from ear to ear *

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Three of my short stories will be free starting tomorrow, Monday May 22nd and running to Friday May 26th!

The three are Ladybug Boy, Party At Larry's and Snipe Hunt. All three are part of the Grove County Short Story collection and all three feature characters that will appear in the upcoming novel Suckers & Rogues!

Ladybug Boy:
https://goo.gl/KxHYvQ

Party At Larry’s:
https://goo.gl/GIA1ko

Snipe Hunt:
https://goo.gl/bNYNZa

Thanks and enjoy!

[Christina]

Remind me tomorrow. I will shout from the rafters. Which would probably be good if pigeons had Kindles.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

If I am home tomorrow, I will be screaming about it here and there in various parts of the Internet, so you're sure to get bombarded by some of the Spam.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

And pigeons DO have Kindles. They just try to keep them hidden or the crows will take them.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Ha, ha. You should have overstuffed that ashtray on the cover. Thanks, Dwayne! Hugs

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

I actually had a cover made up that was full of cigarette butts. But, I changed my mind about the style of the covers and that cover no longer fit.

[Nat]

Yay free books! I will try to get on twitter and retweet. I know some of these folks here are probably already on it.

Have an awesome vacation!

[Christina]

Okay, I tweeted up the place! Gave my commentary and yelled at the pigeons. Hope this gets you something!

[Jane]

Will do stuff when I'm home. Currently away. Drinking. Lots

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Snagged 'em. Thanks, Dwayne! Hugs

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Thanks all. I've been busy today, but I'll be home tomorrow morning and will be doing my own shouting. You guys rock!

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Silly and stupid update for Suckers & Rogues. I now have, right here, the finalized chapter list for the book. Interested? No? Here it is, anyway:

1. Martin Elder
2. Jim Bowie
3. Debbie Adobe
4. Tuyet Thi Nguyen
5. Freddie Tremond
6. Alexa Smith
7. Roger Cantwell
8. Joshua Regal
9. _______
10. Loretta Carlisle
11. Nat DiRusso
12. Kevin Ryan
13. Ken Masters
14. Robert Babcock
15. Terry Rash
16. Gale Meriwether
17. Howie Brewer
18. Lola Grimes
19. Joe Starn
20. Tiffany Taft
21. Simon Zeller
22. Larry Van Der Voorde
23. Nicky Grimes
24. Ben Starn

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Dwayne wrote: "Silly and stupid update for Suckers & Rogues. I now have, right here, the finalized chapter list for the book. Interested? No? Here it is, anyway:.."

Not silly, Dwayne. Good mix of solid name. Nice. Hugs

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Thank you, sweet Sam! *hugs*

[Jane]

You Dwayne. Intriguing. You messing with our heads?

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Nope. Do you want them messed with?

[Jane]

Mine would probably be improved. But that's just me. Maybe I need to do more filth in limerick form..

[Jane]

When Dwayne does a list of his chapters
You better not ask what he's after
Are some of the suckers
Impertinent fuckers
Or is he just rolling with laughter?

[Christina]

Sweet! Chapter 9 is quite the intrigue.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Christina wrote: "Sweet! Chapter 9 is quite the intrigue."

I thought that might get someone's attention.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Oh, I noticed it, too. I figured you would reveal it in due time. Hugs

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger) wrote: "Oh, I noticed it, too. I figured you would reveal it in due time. Hugs"

Nope. That's the chapter title. I'm sure it will get readers curious about that chapter.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Jane wrote: "When Dwayne does a list of his chapters
You better not ask what he's after
Are some of the suckers
Impertinent fuckers
Or is he just rolling with laughter?"

There are a lot of impertinent fuckers in the book. One of the main topics is bullies, after all. And, frankly, all the characters, even the nicer ones, have their moments where they're jerks.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Well.

I am mostly happy with the first half of Suckers & Rogues. I'm going to spend a few days doing some minor cleaning up of a few issues I know it still has, then I will be ready for betas to start reading it.

Yes, Christina. I know you are interested.

Anyway. If anyone else is interested, shoot me a PM and let me know, along with your email address.

I have your email address, Christina. Settle down.

Some stats about Suckers & Rogues that might make you more or less interested:
Genre: General Fiction / Coming-Of-Age
Word Count: 132,638 (for the first half, yes)
Pages: 258
Chapters: 12
Setting: Central Iowa - A school bus and various corn fields
Central Plot: Seventeen-year-old Ben Starn joins a roguing crew for some extra money in the late spring / early summer of 1985. There he learns much about the nature of human-kind and himself.
Warnings: This would have a strict R rating. I don't know for sure what all in it might shock and upset readers, but some things that could - Violence (against people and animals), attempted rape, profanity, many characters who are not "politically correct" by today's standards...

If you have specific questions, leave a comment here.

Thanks.

[Christina]

*slaps on a fake mustache and sunglasses*
Well, hello there good sir! I have heard your cry for help and I would like to beta read. My name is Chris-ti...uh... Christopher! Yes, my name is Christopher and I am definitely a dude who is not Christina. My email is definitelynotmcmullen@somekindofarobot.com

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

So, I have Christina a robot named Christopher and... crickets. I seem to hear a lot of crickets around here.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

*steps out from behind rock, hands behind back, looks at ground, kicks at dirt with toe*

I hope you know how much I care about you, Dwayne, and would like to help you. I apologize for not volunteering to beta read your book. However, my reading list is compiled with indie authors, GR giveaways won, and a few odd books in between. I even have more of your books I look forward to reading. I'm trying to be fair to everyone. Unfortunately, I read slower than most. I have two eyes. Why can't I read more than one book at a time? I'm able to multi-task successfully in other areas. I hope you find the beta readers you need. Hugs

*sees Christina hiding behind a tree fidgeting like a minion and laughs*

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

I have some ideas of places I can kick around for some readers. I know a lot of people have stacks of stuff to read already and I know it's gonna be hard to work in a novel that is threatening to cap at a quarter million words. Thank you, Sam!

[Jane]

Dwayne. This depends a lot on what you want. I'm sworn never to do any more line edits because I spent twenty fucking years.... However if you want impressions, suggestions and that kinda malarkey. I'll just stand behind Christina (err Christoph) shall I?

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Jane wrote: "Dwayne. This depends a lot on what you want..."

I want whatever a beta is willing to give. Christ... opher has read the first chapter and gave me minimal notes, saying it is intriguing and brief impressions of a couple of characters. That is fine. But, if someone wants to go into great detail, feedback on every character, the flow of the story, nitpicking over word choices, ANYTHING they want to share, I'm fine with it. I realize it is long and is not the kind of book most people are used to reading these days, so I will be understanding if betas do not have a lot of input. I would appreciate anyone who is willing to give it a read and give me some quick feedback if that's all they can muster.

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Oh, and I have decided to send it a chapter at a time instead of huge chunks, so it's not quite so intimidating.

[Jane]

Okay. If you want me I'm in. Only caveat is that it's summer which means we piss off in the camper quite a bit. So I can be awol now and again. If that ain't a problem...

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Not a problem, Jane. The way this is going, it could be well into September or October before the book is ready for publication. A great deal of it is still not "beta ready". So, yes, I can be patient with busy betas. Could you PM me your email address and I'll shoot you the first chapter? Thank you so much!

[Jane]

Dwayne wrote: "Not a problem, Jane. The way this is going, it could be well into September or October before the book is ready for publication. A great deal of it is still not "beta ready". So, yes, I can be pati..."

PMing right now

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Love the email addy. Tee hee! Thanks!

[Angela]

Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger) wrote: "*steps out from behind rock, hands behind back, looks at ground, kicks at dirt with toe*

I hope you know how much I care about you, Dwayne, and would like to help you. I apologize for not voluntee..."
This is so funny. I have two eyes too but I only read one book at a time and very slowly. I like to internalize everything. Right now I have a couple reviews I’m working on plus some other things. Hope you get enough readers.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Angela wrote: "Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger) wrote: "*steps out from behind rock, hands behind back, looks at ground, kicks at dirt with toe*

This is so funny. I have two eyes too but I only read one book at a time and very slowly. I like to internalize everything. Right now I have a couple reviews I’m working on plus some other things. Hope you get enough readers.
..."

Angela, while I support indie authors as much as I can, I wish I could read faster. Thanks for understanding my humor. Hugs

[Dwayne, That's Dr. Cannibal To You]

Snipe Hunt has had some sales lately, especially the last three days. I don't like to give exact numbers, so we'll say that the number is low enough that most of you would shrug and say, "Eh. I sell that many in an hour", but for me the number seems really high.

HINT: It is not high enough to put it on any top lists.

Still, I have never seen one of my short stories perform this well in such a short period of time.

That is all.

Unless you didn't know I was looking for beta readers and you are interested. If so, go up to messages number 500 and 506.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Wonderful news, Dwayne! Hugs

[J. Daniel, Nibbly-No-Nails]

I think I got an email from Amazon about Snipe Hunt either yesterday or today - due of course to my previous purchases of Mr. Dwayne Fry's works.

Congrats on the numbers - you totally deserve it.