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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
Aqsa wrote: "We didn't talk today Hallie. Where are you?!?!?"It's like 4:47 am here. The day just started..
Yeah, I'm too pissed to do it right.
I might or might not have hurt my hand playing the guitar, but who cares, right?
My hands hate both me and my inability to the play the guitar.
That's so sad... :(Guitar pains suck...
Hallie wrote: "I actually like it xP"Like what?
In nutshell, I like pain most of the time.
We were having a conversation about makeup (how? I don't know!), and H2 was telling to Is: "You rarely wear any makeup. Not even lipstick." Iz laughed and began to explain about the time she put eyeliner or something (I legit know nothing about this stuff) to K, and suddenly H2 remembered my existence and said, "You're fine, Iz. At least you've done something; this girl here doesn't use anything." Not the first time I've heard this. Is this a subtle hint to say that I look super ugly and I should put on some makeup or perhaps get plastic surgery to make my hideous face look less hideous for this would to bear? Like, Hallie, even if you don't have a pretty personality, at least have a pretty appearance so that everyone doesn't want to throw up when they think about you.
![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
Hey I've been told that I needed to wear makeup by a guy
I would be told that if guys didn't stay 1426369743 light years away from me.
Hallie wrote: "Aqsa wrote: "We didn't talk today Hallie. Where are you?!?!?"It's like 4:47 am here. The day just started.."
My timings babe
Hallie wrote: "Yeah, I'm too pissed to do it right."I'm glad..but why are you pissed?
Aqsa wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Aqsa wrote: "We didn't talk today Hallie. Where are you?!?!?"It's like 4:47 am here. The day just started.."
My timings babe"
My head at 4:47 am isn't any bit rational xP Forgive me.
Aqsa wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Yeah, I'm too pissed to do it right."I'm glad..but why are you pissed?"
The stuff surrounding Raven and some stuff outside Goodreads.
But Hal, the knives in the kitchen are for cutting vegetables, and your penkife is for dissecting leaves and flowers in the Biology lab.
Although the Swiss army knives are for stabbing people, so that should do.
How do I slit wrists anyway? Do I do it vertically or horizontally?
Wait a minute - which is horizontal and which is vertical?
Please don't try to convince my otherwise.
The one rational cell in my brain thinks I'm crazy and need help.
Ariana is Billboard's woman of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I knew this day would come!
Delphinia (Dhamma ✿) wrote: "Hey Hallie <3"Hey! :)
If I start acting less suicidal and more aggressive or something Un-Hallie-ish, I've been hacked.
I've got to do something illegal, so uh....
What kind of illegal lol 😋
Bleh don't ask! I'm so close to picking flowers for my own funeral.Nothing serious. Just some hacking someone's phone for today :)
Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo
Remember That Girl Hallie?
Before I begin with today's story, let me talk about last evening. Everyone knows how people tend to forget my existence even when I'm right in front of them. Same applies to my friends. However yesterday, whilst I was going some searches on my favourite topic i.e., suicide and my least favourite i.e., my school (and yes, I did find one suicide and another attempt by students from the school, albeit the former happened three days before I was born, and the latter in 2012), I was interrupted by a phone call. It was an unknown number and I couldn't help but think about that idiot, but fortunately, it was just H2. Wait a minute - H2?! She got my number like two weeks ago! And why on earth is she calling me? Apparently she wanted to know what to write in our Chemistry records, and since B and I are her only 'close' friends in the batch, with B being B, she opted to call me. Of course, as expected, I got all nervous talking and did a kind of bad job at explaining, but she managed to understand. My mum was surprised and asked who it was, and when I explained, she was kind of confused. My friends rarely call me. Rarely. Almost never.
Right after that, my dad came home and I went into the room to pretend to study, and my phone started ringing again. I thought it was probably H2 again. It was on my table in the living room, so Mum was the first to see it and she yelled, "Hal, K is calling too!" I was like, what's going on here?! I literally stormed out from the bedroom saying, "How come everyone's calling me today?! Otherwise no one wants me!" And as for K, she wanted to know if my Biology record from last year had any pages left because her record this year got over and so did last year's, and since my handwriting is so microscopic, she thought I would probably have some left. Well yes, I did. I took it to school for her today. Anywho, the point is yesterday was apparently 'Remember that girl Hallie?' day.
Speaking of handwriting, me and a couple of others, including H2 got reprimanded by our Physics teacher yesterday because we had "scribbled" our assignments on waste sheets of paper. Ummmm I legit wrote it in a brand new book I was supposed to write my songs in, and I haven't written that neat in forever, so clearly, even my best handwriting sucks!
Moving on to today, my bus wasn't coming, so we were all supposed to go on our own, and my dad said he would drop me at the subway because her goes that way. However, he leaves fifteen minutes before me everyday, and I couldn't get ready that fast. I was rushing and panicking, wore one earring and began to count the money I had all wrong (I was worse than a three year old!), and my mum was all like, "You didn't wear your earrings!" and began to look for those instead of finding me some change. Obviously, I was pissed.
Finally I got into the car, and he dropped me there. So I decided that today, I was going to get to school on my own like a cool person and not a stupid, naive dork. I stepped in and messed that up by getting confused with everything and the guards had to tell me to put my bag in the luggage checking counter. So much for getting to school like a cool person! Then I was waiting for the train sitting on one of the seats expecting it to arrive at the track in front of me, but guess what, the stationary train in the track behind me that I have never seen move before in my life opened its doors. Everyone who was waiting boarded it and I got confused again. I tried to ask the guard, but inadvertently said the name of the station I was in instead of the station I was supposed to go to. Fortunately for me, someone else also asked whether the train would go to a place two stops after mine, so I got on and decided that after this, I would be that cool person. Well, as my station arrived, I faced the wrong doors when they opened...... I swear when I got out, I nearly ran the front of the train and jumped before it.
Usually I feel worse when I catch the cab from the subway, but my luck - I didn't have to. As soon as I asked one of the drivers there, he immediately said, "Hop on dear!" and was rather happy. Even when I asked him how much it would cost, unlike some drivers who just extort money from everyone going to that school, he said the exact amount according to the meter. I was tempted to pay him extra xD Albeit when I reached school, it was legit 7:13, and my classes don't start till 8. I called Mum to inform her that I reached, and whilst I was walking and listening to her rant about how early I reached, I was stopped by *drumrolls* a closed gate. The outer gate was open but the one that lead to the building was locked and I had to sit there and wait for someone to come open it. Imagine a cold, petite girl with hair all over the place sitting in front of a locked gate saying, "Mum, the gate is locked!" Well, they opened the gates shortly after - even Mum heard it, and I went to my class. Obviously, I was the only one, so I was trying to tie my very messy hair. But. It. Just. Refused
To. Be. Tamed. Five times! Five times retied that high pony tail. This is why I want to cut my hair! I probably looked totally uncool in front of the girl who walked in on my sixth attempt to tie my hair. I gave up after that.
Later, people came one by one. I gave K the record, and H2 didn't come at all. When Iz came, she was really anxious. She told us that someone had texted her demanding that she leave her own cousin alone. Apparently that person thought Iz loves her cousin! And they also knew a lot of her life including where she stayed, and had candid photos of her from her private birthday party which only close family attended. She showed me so the texts, and I took the number and tried calling it, but it's always switched off. I'm going to try and hack it to find a location or something that we can use to get them to stop threatening her because she is really scared.
Classes were boring. The entire day, we only had Physics and Chemistry. 3 hours of Physics and 3 hours of Chemistry. Yes, I want to kill myself. Towards the end, we got bugged up and didn't let the Chemistry teacher take class, so she was just talking in the last second hour. She was telling us about how we should never let anyone control our lives, and that any secret is safe with our mothers. Iz got inspired by this, and after a long day of getting headaches from all the threats, she decided to just block the person and tell her mother if they continued to try to contact her. Apparently the whole story inspired everyone to go talk about their secrets and sorrows to their mothers. Everyone except me. 'Cause if I go and tell my Mum that I want to slit my wrists or jump off a cliff, she would say, "Go ahead! I'd have one less person to worry about." Don't even try to convince me otherwise. I know my mother.
The last hour was the only non Chemistry or Physics hour - English. However, the teacher didn't come and it looked like no one would want to take that class, so we all left. We all just walked out of them building while the rest of the school still had classes running. I wanted some company to go to the subway, and I got 3 people to go with! Even though I was the only one boarding that train while the other three were boarding a different one. It was fun.
So I reached home at 2:45 pm even though technically my classes end at 2:30 pm, and I live about an hour away xD I've been trying to explain the morning subway situation to my brother and Mum here, but they don't understand. They thought I'm talking nonsense, so I had to draw and explain to my brother (yes, he didn't go to work today). Mum got fed up, so she just told me to shut it :(
jellybean wrote: "Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo"Haha yep! xD
Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo"Haha yep! xD"
Oooooo, I'm suddenly interested. God I'm in a really cold mood right now, you know, when all your roleplay responses make people wanna cry. xD
jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo"Haha yep! xD"
Oooooo, I'm suddenly interested. God I'm in a really cold mood right now, you know, when a..."
Lol xD Although my phone keeps failing the human verification and it's really annoying :/ Oh dear, the emotions in your roleplay responses have always been so strong!
Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo"Haha yep! xD"
Oooooo, I'm suddenly interested. God I'm in a really cold mood right now..."
Oof, dang technology! :3
I know. . . and sometimes it's really really strong. So strong that it's bad. God I wish sometimes I could write normal responses. uwu
Hallie wrote: "Ariana is Billboard's woman of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I knew this day would come!"Yay!
jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Ooooo, did I hear the word hacking around this area? owo"Haha yep! xD"
Oooooo, I'm suddenly interested. God I'm in a really cold..."
Exactly! *shakes head*
It's never bad!
So the parent-teacher meeting is tomorrow, and my mum is so scared to go. Um Mum, I'm the one that failed two subjects.
Still feel that I'm better off dead.
Everyone's always saying don't be so negative all the time blah blah blah. Being pessimistic is my key to not bursting into tears every five seconds.
God I think I’m the opposite of you then man. I’m usually optimistic Oof. Also, it’s quite difficult to type when your hands are shaking. :/
I wouldn't be surprised at all. I legit radiate pessimism everywhere, and it annoys every single person.
Hallie wrote: "Still feel that I'm better off dead."NO
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
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I'm warning you... Don't do it.
Please"
Have I heard this before? Yes. Have I ignored this before? 7 times? 8 times? I don't know.