Book Buying Addicts Anonymous discussion
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In Defense of the TBR Pile
Personally I'm proud and excited about my TBR pile. All those books still sitting there, waiting to be read.
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I agree with all the previous comments. I, too, have many books on my TBR list and many of them are on my shelves at home. If I ever start to feel guilty, I try to compare my hobby to others. Have you ever seen the tubs of craft supplies or fabric swatches of people who enjoy sewing? they never know when they will need a certain button or scrap of fabric for their project. How about the fisherman who continues to buy lures even though his tackle box is full. No one would question the amount of supplies they keep on hand for that "just in case" purpose, but for some reason a pile of books is different?! Not to me.
I don't think I have problem just because I have TBR shelves and a TBR pile on the desk. I enjoy reading and owning books just like some people enjoy collecting Hummel's or cookie jars or whatever. At least my books serve a purpose beyond collecting dust. And I do have a few Hummel's and piggy banks I collect.
I sometimes feel bad about the stacks of books I have purchased that I know I don't have anyplace to put since they are now stacked in boxes or in neat stacks on the floor, if I ever get more bookshelves bought that guilt will quickly go away. I don't mind a big TBR pile because I know I can always find a book that will be interesting regardless of the mood I'm in.
It's good to have a lot of TBR. Who knows what mood you will be in when next you want to choose a book? I get antsy just thinking about not having a large variety of choices. And the remark about the crafter stockpiles hits home here too. Who knows when I'll need that interesting bead, ribbon, piece of fabric, silk flower, cigar box, paint color.......
On my goodreads accounts...I gave listed over 1300 books that I own. I have 955 listed as read, some of those are owned, some are from library. I also have 830 listed as to read. Lol. Do I feel guilty? Hell no.
I have 380 odd books in my TBR pile almost all of which I own and no I am not ashamed. Why the heck should I be? I am, in fact, proud of my collection.
There is never a need to be ashamed of one's book collection, TBR or already read. On my TBR list are books that I entered when they caught my eye in a review, etc. As time passes, they may not be of interest to me anymore and eventually I might delete them.I occasionally purge my owned books in aid of the booksale at the library. This is also not an occasion of shame,just changed, matured or whatever interests.
I have mixed feelings about my TBR pile, which right now sits at 38 books owned and not yet read. I have another TBR list that I keep on Amazon and I do plan on owning those books in due time. That list can get as long as I need - its a wish list after all. I don't often read by mood - sometimes I read my books in alphabetical order or by time period, or just by whats on top on the shelf. I do feel bad for owning so many that I haven't read yet and I'm trying to get the number down before I buy more. When I have a smaller TBR pile I find that I savor the books more, where as when there is a big pile I feel like I need to get them finished. As if I have a responsibly to the books and to the author to not let them lie dormant on the shelves for too long. I might be a bit batty.
But on the other hand I get a real high out of buying books and they do all get read - eventually.
It's an interesting topic and certainly food for thought.I have been thinking about this for quite some time since it's a recurring topic here and on some other book groups I frequent. It's true that if your collecting does not impinge upon your ability to carry on the life you want to live then it's really not a problem, but I do know that for me there will always be a little self-imposed twinge of guilt in my book-buying because of my tendency to obsess over a subject once I get interested in it - books are just the latest of my serial obsessions, though hopefully along with my interest in nature it will be a long-term one.
Looking at my bookshelves and leafing through the unread books assuages that guilt about not having read the books somewhat but I do feel that with my tendency to go overboard in collecting stuff (a theme in my family) it's not a bad thing to have my conscience on my shoulder and I've often felt that it's made me look more carefully at potential purchases and over time I feel I am now buying a little more wisely rather than just spending on a whim, which I used to do. Guilt is a terrible thing, but it's not 'always' a negative force.
TBR currently 326, including some box sets...
My TBR piles give me something to look forward to. The dishes piled up in my sink, that gives me shame that I will take care of in a few minutes.
MissJessie--former librarian wrote: "It's good to have a lot of TBR. Who knows what mood you will be in when next you want to choose a book? I get antsy just thinking about not having a large variety of choices. And the remark about..."
This is so true. I remember in older days when I just had a limited (to me, was actually a hundred or so) books laying around. They tended be like one or two genres mainly, and if I wasn't in the mood to read those genres, I couldn't find anything to read and would get into a slump.
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I'm not a tiny bit ashamed of my TBR stack, but we're moving, and now I have to pack it. Maybe I'm a little embarrassed that I have not stopped buying books even as the movers go through the house making their estimates of what it will cost.
Patricia wrote: "I'm not a tiny bit ashamed of my TBR stack, but we're moving, and now I have to pack it. Maybe I'm a little embarrassed that I have not stopped buying books even as the movers go through the house ..."Depends what you're buying… if it's special priced stuff or books you are finding which are out of print and harder to source then it would be perfectly understandable. Regular mass market books, possibly less so, but as long as they don't turn up to find a whole van load of extra books to shift you should be fine. ;-)
I plan to retire in about two years and where we will move to after retirement is still up in the air. Destinations range from Australia to the U.S. and everything (with pleasant weather) in between. With this in the future you would think that it would have an influence on my buying habits. Nothing could be further from the truth. It doesn’t figure in at all and probably won’t until the final decision is made. I have been acquiring more eBooks but that is more due to a natural developing transition than a contemplated future move. Like the rest of our furniture, the costs of moving will also include the books. Thoughts of leaving them behind or (God forbid) selling them don’t figure in the equation. As an example, I went to Australia eight years ago and found myself on a book buying spree. When I packed to return to Europe I found that I was vastly overweight. Instead of dumping some of my recently acquired books, I opted to leave my clothes behind and never regretted the decision.
Thom wrote: "I plan to retire in about two years and where we will move to after retirement is still up in the air. Destinations range from Australia to the U.S. and everything (with pleasant weather) in betwee..."Moving may be happening for me in the next few months and I'll simply have more boxes of books than furniture so I figure it all balances out in the end. I'm getting rid of the living room set so surely the books would weigh less and hopefully take up the same amount of room in the moving van. Anyway, I've convinced myself it would come out all the same.
Why Australia Thom and where are you currently living?
Thom, I totally get you, lol. Is your significant other a reader also or just very understanding? For me a suitcase of clothes would be easier to part with than a suitcase of books.
I only ask because it is my desire to live outside of Australia, so I am very interested in people's' point of view about living in another country and their reason for leaving. I love the UK to bits and really want to immigrate there one day, even if it just ends up being for a few years.
I own over 200 unread books, and I'm not ashamed at all. When I tell people that, they are like "wow"; I'm the girl who reads. I feel happy that I have stockpiled so many books when I could because I have less money in my budget for books now.
I'm American my wife is Australian and we live in Holland.
Now I understand wanting to live somewhere warm :) The coldest I have ever felt was one rainy June day in Holland. Penetrating damp, windy and about 48 degrees F.Love the country though, the flowers are wonderful.
Thats the worst thing about living in London - wearing a sweater in June! I'm from the east coast and sometimes I just crave one of those horribly stifling hot days.
I am born and raised in Australia, lived in Europe for a while, hate the heat and love European and UK weather.
I think its a real case of the grass is always greener!
Lol probably. I just really want to live somewhere cold.
I want to live where it is sunny and 80 degrees on any day that I don't have a hangover. That also has world class museums, amazing restaurants and eons of history to check out. And (not to be to over the top here) has amazing travel connections allowing me to get anywhere I want to go quickly and cheaply.
That's what I love about Europe and the UK. I am also a huge history buff.
It doesn't always rain in Holland (most of it falls in the UK before reaching us). Holland also isn't very cold when you compare it with many European countries to the north and east of us. I've travelled most of the world and if you are looking for cold, Lithuania, Korea and northern Japan are much colder in the winter time. The Netherlands are known for their windmills, tulips and wooden shoes not their deadly spiders, snakes and crocks (because there aren't any).
P.S. My wife hails from Geelong and it took my unbelievable powers of persuasion to get her to move to Europe. We enjoy the seasons either outdoors of comfortably behind glass.
You must both have an adventuresome spirit. Good fir you. How wonderful that you have had the opportunity to pursue living in a foreign land. I live in the Deep South. Even when I have left the US, I have just traveled farther South. Would live to have the opportunity to visit Europe some day. To see some if the cities or place that I have read about
My husband lived in Holland for three years (for business) back in the last century, down in Eindhoven. I visited there for several months. I really liked it there; the people were wonderful. You never were in doubt about what they thought of things and the tolerance for all types of people and ideas was wonderful. The weather, no so much. It may not rain all the time, but our friends had an outdoor pool and if it hadn't been heated it would never have been used. Warm it isn't.But carnival (Fat Tuesday) was always a blast and the central location for Europe was wonderful. It's really nice when you can say to your significant other, OK, 3 day weekend...Paris or London? and drive there in a few hours.
Loved it.
I lived in Zurich for a year almost 10 years ago and I absolutely loved it and the weather and re fact that you are so close to everything you ever heard of. Lol. I also visited Amsterdam whilst living there, but only for 1 night. It was a very interesting place and spelled the end of my motherly-influenced prudishness.
That sounds interesting Kiera. Would you care to elaborate on Amsterdam’s effect on you? I’ve heard many people say, “I’ve been to Amsterdam” and figure that what they saw was typical of all of Holland. This simply isn’t true. As an American (and Texan to boot) I wouldn’t appreciate being compared to a New Yorker. Every American is and feels unique (and that goes double for Texans) and don’t want to be closely compared with another. This said (I feel a bit better with that off of my chest), Amsterdam is a beautiful, unique and very busy city that we are proud to call our capitol.
Well, I was in a tour when I was in Amsterdam and we went to the red light district and went to a... "show" and it was the first time in my life that I realised that sex and sexual preferences and all that wasn't necessarily a bad thing and that it wasn't something to be ashamed of. Up until that point in my life I had always been taught to believe that it was bad.
Especially by my mother, who is a nurse and to dyer me from having teen sex, she told me all of the bad diseases etc. I understand her motives, but it has led to psychological problems in that area, so I am a bit mad at her. I am grateful even now for my night in Amsterdam for helping me to open my eyes a bit. It was very helpful to me. :)
I've been to Amsterdam many times now. I've seen the sights and gotten to know the city. There is nothing like my first trip there when I was 21. I was living in Dresden at the time and terribly home sick. Amsterdam gave me the travel bug. I was so entranced by the beauty, history, people and just the heartbeat of the city that travel became my drug.It was there that I knew I'd never stop exploring the world. 12 years later and I've been privileged to have visited 63 countries, many if those several times. Plus, I live in London now - so travel is cheap and fast.
I still make it to holland about once a year and always find something new.
I love London, but if we ever did get the chance to emigrate over there, we'd really like to live in South Wales. We love Cardiff and Caerphilly- just outside of Cardiff- looks like a wonderful area. :)
The only things I would take with me would be some clothes and my books! Lol
I love Wales as well - but the international travel connections are much better in London. As are the job opportunities. A lot of my books are still at my parents house, patiently waiting in the basement. Each trip back sees more of them migrate over the pond. When I was packing I wanted to bring my travel related stuff (photos and souvenirs), clothing, kitchen stuff and books. I love my books, I brought over the favorites right away and I've rebought a few that I didn't realize I'd miss so much. At this point there is little but books left to come over. If only they were lighter!
Oh yeah photos are a must and of course I bring my travel memories. I forgot about those. Lol
I love this thread! Now I will start to be proud of my ever-growing TBR pile (actually, shelves)... that get rid of that little voice in me that was telling me "you're crazy" whenever I was getting out of the bookshop with a bag of books in my hands, or just after I had hit the "send" button at Amazon!
By Amanda Nelson
May 20, 2014
I’ve been diving into the BookTube recently (the community of book vloggers on YouTube) where “hauls” are common- videos about all the books the BookTuber has purchased over the past week or month or whatever. There’s common language across these video channels when it comes to adding these books to TBRs (To-Be-Read lists): language of guilt or embarrassment, “I’m so bad,” language that you see on any blog post/Twitter discussion/comment section about a TBR. It’s not surprising to me that people feel automatically defensive when exposing the books they own that they haven’t read. One of our own recently wrote about her TBR and had to be defended from accusations of being a hoarder,* a term that comes up frequently whenever someone talks in public about having a personal library.
I say: let’s put an end to TBR shame.** Not just the shaming of people who own a lot of books they haven’t read yet, but the guilt from the people doing the owning. If having a TBR stresses you out or your physical TBR is so large that it’s reduced the functionality of your living space or you’re spending money you don’t have on an increasingly large pile of books you won’t read, by all means, re-evaluate your choices and ditch the pile. But if none of those things apply to you, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your reading life.
Because here’s the thing: you shouldn’t feel badly about something you enjoy. I have about 160 unread books in my house- enough to fill to overflowing an entire IKEA bookshelf-and I just like the sight of it. Will I get around to reading all of those books? Who cares! It’s an ever-evolving pile: stuff is constantly being culled out and discarded, or read and moved to the other shelves, or being added as I pick up new books I want to read. That shelf is part of the daily rhythm of my life, it’s something that brings me a measure of contentment, and I don’t see why I should feel badly about those things just because someone else (usually on the internet) might express disapproval.
There’s not a number at which a TBR becomes suddenly immoral. You’re not in an objective safe zone at 99 and in the Very Bad Person Zone at 100. You don’t need to apologize for loving an activity and owning the items you like in order to do that activity. A reading life is a rich experience that isn’t limited to the actual act of reading- it’s also wandering through the library and being suddenly aware of how loudly you walk. It’s petting a cover with an interesting texture. Picking a new ereader and a cover for it that has some pun on it. Discovering new reading apps on your phone. Building up a library (or not, if you don’t want to) of editions that make you happy, whether those are digital or physical. Developing a TBR (or not, if you don’t want to), that might *gasp, the horror* contain books you never actually get around to. There is no one-size-TBR-fits-all-readers wrong or right choice. There’s no good or bad book pile. There is only your reading life and what is right for your situation and your preferences.
So (TBR) pile on without shame, my friends. In the wise words of Dave Grohl, “I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it.”
*And before anyone starts comparing having a library to hoarding, this article about the difference between collecting and hoarding from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America might be of use. Let’s not use a term for an actual mental illness to make self-righteous statements about readers who have different reading lives than we do, kthanksbai.
**Especially if you’re a woman. Not that men don’t feel TBR guilt, but I see this sort of apologizing-for-expressing-joy-in-a-thing more often from the ladies and that’s a whole other post for a whole other site but seriously, stop apologizing.