An extra survey for bonus points

[Kasia]

Tom wrote: "SomethingAwful.com I somehow thought this was Kasia's survey. Fark.com instead. "

No Tom, my survey would be more immature. But, if you insist: (break your leg)


I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?

III. What are you listening to lately?

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?

VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

IX. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?

XII. Stick or automatic?

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?

[[deleted user]]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?

Matthew McConaughey. Because he's gross. I don't like big muscles (and defined abs are a definite turn-off). I like a fit guy, but if you look like you spend all your time looking in a mirror, it's not sexy. And his whole frat-boy party scene (not literal frat boys) with a bunch of pretty boys! And his movies!!! I hate romantic comedies.

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?

Oh, I couldn't call one or the other, "higher," but if you want to know my preference, it's for the symphony. I like other Munch stuff better, though.

III. What are you listening to lately?

Michael Jackson (not really).

Bonnie Prince Billy, Neko Case, Lily Allen (her new album is not as good as her first, but I love the song, "Chinese"), Lucinda Williams, Great Lake Swimmers, Holly Golightly (so good for summer), Santagold.

Like Sebadoh said, "JUST GIVE ME INDIE ROCK!!!"

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?

Vibrators. Unnecessary. And probably, for many people, unsanitary.

I don't tweet, either, but I don't despise it.

I HATE my cellphone (I really want to punch its lights out), but not cellphones in general.

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?

Things aren't just going to "happen" for me. At least not the right things. I have to make an effort to get what I want.

And that most people are good. I knew that, but I unlearned it and had to re-learn it.

VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:

Jackass movies.

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?

Yeah. I'm not modest. If it wasn't gratuitous or pornish, of course (I hate porn).

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Same. I was 21. I thought he was going to be my forever and only, so I loved that.

IX. What's your most embarrassing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.

When I was a kid, I suffered from bloody noses--especially in the heat. I hated getting bloody noses during P.E. or something. All over my clothes. Boys asking me if I picked my nose. Jerks.

There have been more entertaining things, but that is what popped into my head as being the worst.

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?

O_o

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?

A pile of chicken fat that I had cut off with shears.

XII. Stick or manual?

I have a manual, but my first car was a stick, and it's the only car I've ever l♥ved.

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?

I've been told that I smell great. I wonder what I smell like? Like shampoo, coconut lotion, montamboness, cigarettes and library books?

I like smelling people. One of my exes had the best smelling head I've ever smelled. I could've just sniffed that thing, constantly.

[Stina]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?
I HATE Penelope Cruz... the only good thing about her is that I like to pronounce Penelope as Pee-nah-lohp. I hate her eyes, her face, her tiny body, her squeaky voice... I hate it all.

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?

The Symphony... I appreciate visual art more, but I think writing tunes when you're deaf is amazing!

III. What are you listening to lately?
Summer Tunes... Credence, Counting Crows, Jimmy Buffett, Guns and Roses, Jon Bon Jovi, a little Will Smith. I love summer music.

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?
I HATE first-person-shooter video games. I think they are beyond ridiculous...

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?
That having a personal timeline (like married at 27, kids by 30...) is a great way to make you feel real shitty about yourself.

VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:
The movie Step Up... and fries that have been dipped in a Frosty.

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?
Sure, why not? It's a real movie and not someone's basement porn, right?

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
I think it was a good time... I was 18 and I'm glad I had gotten it over with.

IX. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.
I had an appointment for a gynecological exam one morning and the night before, I got WASTED. We were so drunk we were drinking straight vodka out of pint glasses and using frozed raspberries as ice cubes because we were out. That night, I hooked up with my ex and didn't remember a whole lot about it. The next morning, I hopped my hungover self into the shower with about 40 minutes to go before my appointment. When I hopped out of the shower, I had hickeys and BITE MARKS all over my chest... on a normal day, that would have been embarassing... but on a day that I was having a breast exam, it was WAY WORSE. I didn't say anything to my doctor and she didn't say anything to me, but sometimes I still wonder what was written in my chart.

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?
Farting in gym class... my friend Jolene did this in 7th grade and still hasn't lived it down.

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?
Crime scene photos... anything with maggots, whether in real life or in a photo is HORRIBLE.

XII. Stick or manual?
Stick...

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?
I smell like shampoo, Ed Hardy perfume, cigarettes and gum. I've been told it smells good... but the best I ever smelled was when I was wearing Lolita Lempicka perfume and smoking menthols. It was an intoxicating blend!

[[deleted user]]

Poor Jolene! And now she's got some growth on her neck, or something. :/

Mmmm. Menthols. When are we going to hang out, Kristina?! Isn't Shelley having some BBQ or something? I thought you quit smoking? Or did I make that up?

[smetchie]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?
--Paris Hilton. Dumb bitch.

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?
--Ninth

III. What are you listening to lately?
--Drive By Truckers

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?
--Twitter. But only because I don't get it and I feel like everyone is talking about something cool and leaving me out.

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?
--You should go ahead and just do it and not worry what people will think. People are basically good and won’t judge you. Those that will don’t matter that much.

VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:
--being in The Haters Club.

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?
--Absofuckinglutely! I'm married and plan to stay married forever. How else am I gonna get some strange. (oh wait, am I just nude? i assumed i got to do a love scene. if I'm just nude, NO WAY!)

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
--I’m fine with when it was. It really doesn’t matter either way. In my experience, Virginity and Non-virginity are both grossly over-rated by those parties on either side of the fence.

IX. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.
--it's not that i don't want to share, but i tend to block this stuff out so it's hard to remember. i'll ask around and come back to this one.

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?
--the latter....BY A MILE!

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?
--a guy break his leg playing soccer. you could hear it and then his ankle flopped over in the most unnatural way.

XII. Stick or manual?
--stick, but i wish it weren't.

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?
--I can’t smell myself, which is maddening because I really want to know for sure. I’ve been told I smell good, but who knows if they're telling the truth? The thing is, I’m convinced I have a really odd body chemistry because there’s virtually no perfume I can wear. It can smell fine when I first put it on, but after 15 minutes I turn it into something awful and super sweet which gives me a headache. The only exception I’ve found is Aveda, which smells AWESOME so I guess I can’t really complain. In short. Yes, I smell good.

[Stina]

Montambo wrote: "Poor Jolene! And now she's got some growth on her neck, or something. :/

Mmmm. Menthols. When are we going to hang out, Kristina?! Isn't Shelley having some BBQ or something? I thought you quit sm..."

Yes, I tried super hard to quit, but soon realized I just REALLY like smoking... and it looks cool, so there's that too.

We do need to hang out!! Whatcha doin' this week?

[[deleted user]]

Going to Idaho for a funeral, tomorrow. :(

But I'll be home Saturday. Next week, maybe?

[Stina]

Montambo wrote: "Going to Idaho for a funeral, tomorrow. :(

But I'll be home Saturday. Next week, maybe?"

I will also be home tomorrow... I'm sorry that you have a reason to go to a funeral. It's bad to see a Dad be sad.

[[deleted user]]

It's the worst. I love my dad.

[Stina]

Gretchen wrote: "I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?
--Paris Hilton. Dumb bitch.

Paris Hilton is a super dumb bitch.

[smetchie]

I like smelling people.

me too. I love smelling people who smell good. I love to smell my daughters. They smell great!

[Matthieu]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?

Ben Affleck. He's absolutely terrible.

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?

They're both fine. I prefer music to visual art, though.


III. What are you listening to lately?

Bat for Lashes, Hank Williams, Erik Satie, Red House Painters, et al.


IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?

Twitter is fucking pointless. I hate it.


V. What's the most important thing you've learned?

Dunno.



VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:

Fried Oreos!

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?

I guess. Depends on the film. And the attractiveness of the leading lady.

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Nah.

IX. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.

When I showed up late to the baccalaureate rehearsal?

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?

I never went to church, so I don't know how to compare them. Both are nasty, I guess?


XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?

The bathroom at the NY Port Authority?

XII. Stick or automatic?

Stick!

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?

I smell great. Or so I'm told.

[Harry]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?
*Tom Cruise. I hate that self-important midget!

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?
*Beethoven's Ninth! By far.

III. What are you listening to lately?
*Jamey Johnson, Kings of Leon, Michael Jackson (for real!)

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?
*Twitter! Lame! I don't give two shits that you're picking up your dry-cleaning! And that vibrator doesn't intimidate me.

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?
*Baltimore is a horrible town. Don't be fooled by the "Charm City" B.S. or the "Inner Harbor" ... it is a pit of despair.


VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:
*I hate to repeat an answer, but Montambo nailed it with Jackass movies! Oh and anything Sasha Baron Cohen does.

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?
*About 50lbs ago, no problem.

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
*The same time would be fine, but I would like to not had such a dry spell between the first and the next!

IX. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.
*Why does this question follow the question about losing your virginity? Can't say that was the most confident moment of my life!

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?
*For guys, I'd have to say belching in church would be worse. Passing gas is a rite of passage for young men.

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?
*The awful video of Daniel Pearl being beheaded. Don't ask why I watched it! I couldn't do it again.

XII. Stick or automatic?
*Automatic...too much traffic around here for the other.

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?
*It's hit or miss. I'm kickin' like jujitsu right now!

[Rusty]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?

Carlos Mencia. Maybe it’s just me, but I prefer my comedians to be funny. In addition I don’t give a shit about hearing the comedian’s life philosophy. You’re a comedian, so make with the jokes, joke monkey. And if you can’t think of funny ones, find a writer who can.

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?

I don’t mind Beethoven

III. What are you listening to lately?

Linkin Park, Johnny Cash, The Fray (yeah, yeah, shut it), Gary Allen, Louis Armstrong, Drowning Pool, etc.

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?

All of them. But I begrudgingly use my cellphone when absolutely necessary.

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?

No matter how well you plan and prepare, life will still knock you on your ass and try to have its way with you.

VII. Would you do a nude scene in a movie?

Not a chance in hell. Yes, I may walk naked in front of the window from time to time, but that’s different.

VIII. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

No.

X. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?

I don’t embarrass easily.

XI. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?

I went to a birthing class with the wife the first time around, and they forced us to watch videos of natural births. What the hell is wrong with those masochistic women?

XII. Stick or automatic?

I know I’m supposed to love standards because they have more power, but I don’t care much what I drive. I drive an automatic ’97 Corrola with one remaining hub cap and paint peeling off the hood.

XIII. How do you smell? Do you smell good?

That’s a queer question.

[smetchie]

I went to a birthing class with the wife the first time around, and they forced us to watch videos of natural births. What the hell is wrong with those masochistic women?

AMEN SISTER!

[[deleted user]]

*It's hit or miss. I'm kickin' like jujitsu right now!

What the heck does that mean?

I drive an automatic ’97 Corrola with one remaining hub cap and paint peeling off the hood.

That is so endearing to me. I don't give a fig for cars. A necessary annoyance.

[Georg]

I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?
Benedikt XVI (called "J.R.")

II. Which of these is a higher form of art: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or The Scream (Edvard Munch)?
Looking at a picture takes less time. And: "The scream" makes no noise. So Munch is it.

III. What are you listening to lately?
My neighbor's lawn-mower

IV. Which technology do you despise? Twitter? Cellphones? Vibrators?
Vibrating cellphone activated by one of my million followers

V. What's the most important thing you've learned?
Lying to survey questions


VI. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
Still waiting

VII. What's your most embarasing experience? Share it with your fellow haters.
Das war, als ich mit der schwedischen Referndarin beim Hotelfrühstück war. Sie sprach kein Wort, und ich dachte schon, sie ist stumm. Dann holt sie sich vom Buffett eine Portion Möhrensalat. "Aha", sage ich, "Kaninchenfrühstück." Sie sieht mich an und grinst, und ich sehe ihre riesigen Schneidzähne.

VIII. Which is worse: belching in church or passing gas in gym class?
I've never been to a church or to a gym. Good idea, I will try both and will tell you what makes more fun.

IX. Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?
The mouth of the tiger I killed with my swiss army knife last summer

X. Stick or automatic?
I stick to automatic

XI. How do you smell? Do you smell food?
I can smell food within a mile when I am hungry

[Rusty]

Das war, als ich mit der schwedischen Referndarin beim Hotelfrühstück war. Sie sprach kein Wort, und ich dachte schon, sie ist stumm. Dann holt sie sich vom Buffett eine Portion Möhrensalat. "Aha", sage ich, "Kaninchenfrühstück." Sie sieht mich an und grinst, und ich sehe ihre riesigen Schneidzähne.

Those wacky Swedes! If I had a nickle for every time that happened to me..........

[smetchie]

I've always been told I have rabbit teeth, but recently my gay dentist said my teeth were "youthful" and that people actually had their teeth fixed to look like that. weird.

[Malbadeen]

Gretchen - Patterson Hood of Drive by Truckers is playing here this Friday, should I count you in?
Matt - Bat for Lashes is coming here - can't remember when?

so come on everybody come here!

[smetchie]

Sure. I missed him when he was in DC. I'm not sure what that band he's touring with is all about, though.

[Malbadeen]

He'll be here with some of the Drive by Truckers.

[smetchie]

Is it Patterson Hood and The Screwtopians?

[Malbadeen]

yep.

[Malbadeen]

It's good we're getting to the bottom of this issue, no?

[smetchie]

Yes it is good. I have a friend who saw them in DC and he didn't seem overwhelmed, but he's never seen the Drive by Truckers WITH Patterson Hood so I can't use him as a reference. Have you ever seen them, Marie. They're so great.

[Georg]

"I've always been told I have rabbit teeth, but recently my gay dentist said my teeth were "youthful" and that people actually had their teeth fixed to look like that. weird."

Gretchen, can a gay dentist hurt as much as a hetero dentist? My dentist is lesbian, but I am sometimes worried since she has all De Sade books in her office and always welcomes me with the words: "Glad to see you."

[Kasia]

funny, Georg.

[Kasia]

Montambo wrote: "I. What celebrity tops your most hateful list and why?

Matthew McConaughey. Because he's gross. I don't like big muscles (and defined abs are a definite turn-off). I like a fit guy, but if you loo..."

I don't like him in the movies, his acting is so overdone. But I don't mind the muscle.

[Kasia]

Kristina wrote: "I had an appointment for a gynecological exam one morning and the night before, I got WASTED. We were so drunk we were drinking straight vodka...."

Great story Kristina, but undoubtedly a shitty day for you.

[Kasia]

Gretchen wrote: "Twitter. But only because I don't get it and I feel like everyone is talking about something cool and leaving me out..."

You're not missing out on anything Gretchen. Twitter is lame. Like I need to know what Ashton Kutcher had for breakfast.

[Kasia]

Matt wrote: "VI. As we know, nothing in life is very good and appalling at the same time. Except:

Fried Oreos!"

Now, I'm intrigued.
PS. I miss Oreos, there's none of that stuff here.

[Kasia]

Rusty wrote: "I went to a birthing class with the wife the first time around, and they forced us to watch videos of natural births. What the hell is wrong with those masochistic women?"

You mean women that give birth the natual way, or the women that watch it on tapes?

[Kasia]

Montambo wrote: "*It's hit or miss. I'm kickin' like jujitsu right now!

What the heck does that mean?"

From that I got: old goat odor.

[Harry]

...I'm kickin' like jujitsu right now!

What the heck does that mean

It meant that I was stinky!

[Stina]

Harry wrote: "...I'm kickin' like jujitsu right now!

What the heck does that mean

It meant that I was stinky!"

Stinky like shit, or stinky like THE SHIT?

[Harry]

Please, let's continue to discuss my body odor from yesterday. I was not smelling very fresh. Not so much like shit, but not much better either.

[Kasia]

:::inhales:::

Exhale. EXHALE. EXHALE!!!

[Malbadeen]

I assumed "kicin it" like anything was good. Thank god we drug it out so I don't embarass my self next time the expression comes up.

[Tom]

Do you often feel "not so fresh," Harry?

[Malbadeen]

are you going to offer him some of your products, feminine hygiene commercial style, tom? I can see you two on the daisy covered hillside now.

[Harry]

After a long day, I sometimes feel...less than fresh. Nothing a little baby powder can't cover up.

Are we holding hands running through the flowers?

[Matthieu]

Oh, Kasia... fried Oreos are absolutely ridiculous!

Marie: I wanna go. I'm really trying to work out a Portland plan.

[Malbadeen]

not holding hands silly. sitting on the top of a gently slop, making daisy chains, having soft conversation, no direct eye contact but definitely soft laughter with occasionally tossed back heads.
It's really quite lovely.

[Malbadeen]

matt - here's a date for you to aim for ya youngin you
http://www.musicfestnw.com/soon.html

or for the reader in you
http://www.wordstockfestival.com/#/pa...
you can wave hello to Sarah and I as we check in authors with our super unattractive red volunteer shirts on. What more could you hope for?

[Matthieu]

Oh, they're both in the autumn! I'll be back at school by then! :(

[Malbadeen]

school.
pish!

If you insist on letting that silly patriarchal-middle-class-generating-suppressor -of-dignity rule your life, you'll have to settle for this
http://www.pdxpopnow.com/history
and some good old fashion out door activities.

[Dave]

school.
pish!

What is it you do for a living, again?

[Malbadeen]

BunWat - is it still a malaprop if it doesn't actually (when spelled correctly) at all the same? Thank you, though. I could fill a room with those babies!

Dave - professionally, I am a "Literacy coach" (at a grade school...in the 2nd biggest school district in Oregon). But really I feel my life's true purpose is to exercise hypocrisy whenever/however possible. I'm surprised you didn't know this about me.