This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

I hate crowded trains…

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The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Well actually I don’t I never give a fuck about anything that goes down on the subway*… I mean I have a freaking book for that, but today the book IS the problem… Q:But Alfonso how can a book be a problem??? A: Well quite simple imaginary person who ask me stupid things… I’m reading New Moon… Q:WAIT, WAIT, WAIT YOU READING WHAT?. A:Dear god, not you too!! Just shut up and listen! Ok? Back to the subject… I’m reading fucking twilight and of course I need to keep it hidden! And there is no way in hell that I’m reading that shit standing up for the whole world to mock me!! so there was I facing the most difficult decision of the day! Should I; A) pull he biggest I don’t give a fuck in modern history (Diogenes got the biggest one from ancient history) or B) get inside the train and take advantage of my height and hold the book up and read from above or C) wait for the next train like a bitch so I can read my crappy book while I hide the cover against my leg so nobody will know my shame!!! now If you are so kind to step into my head for a second so you can understand my decision making process a little better. What’s that you already live there imaginary person…. Silly me of course you do! anyway this is what went down in that creepy (now gay) little place that is my head:

Option A: oh hell no!! No way, Jose!! That aint gonna happen I aint got the balls to let anyone see me reading that shit!! I could already see some jock looking at me and yell something like: “ dude! this guy here is reading twilight! In public!” and then some hot chick will ask her hot friend: “did that dude say there is a Guy or a Gay reading twilight in public” to which hot girl #2 will respond: “I don’t know, but if it is a male reading Twilight, on the subway, in NY city, I don’t think it matters…” and I’ll just die of shame… so nop! Option A is not an option!!!

Option B: I start reading looking… and people start wondering what the fuck am I doing… then some chick gets curious and looks up and after reading two lines that proly say something about Bella smelling really good I get back into the same scenario from Option A… Option B is not an option!

Option C: fuck! fuck! fuck!!! if only I was smart!! I could come up with something better than the above… but I aint! Cuz I read books like fucking Twilight instead of some make smart shit!! damn you gods of knowledge damn you to hell!!!!!! (planet of the apes)

P.s. yes, I’m back y’all deal with it!

*: except for people eating… I do have issues with that!

message 2: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) you don't own any books with slipcovers the same size as the twilight books?

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I know this is going to sound stupid… but I don’t want to get a jacket for the book… I get so much pleasure of knowing that I’m doing something taboo in front of everybody. When I forget while turning the pages and I accidentally lift the book and I realize what I’ve done and I quickly put it back down… dude it feels so good!!!

message 4: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) In other words, you're not quite out of the closet but you keep peeking out the door.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I hate that that analogy can be apply here =(. Still man why don’t you read it and tell me if it makes you gay!

message 6: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Pass, but thanks for the suggestion. I've got a sneaking suspicion, though, that it's not so much that the books make you gay as it is that they enhance pre-existing gayness.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Dude, WTF! This feeling is completely new for me… I’ve never been concerned about what other people think about what I’m doing… I’m perfectly ok with sitting on the floor and falling sleep right there on the streets (I actually got a couple of pesos while doing that that), I wear rags I mean literally wear rags people keep giving me clothes all the time cuz they think I aint got none, I talk to myself I laugh by myself, etc, but I’m so afraid of people finding out about me reading that crap that I don’t know man! It feels good!

message 8: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Try reading Little Women next.

message 9: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Hell, he might as well. Or go see the Vagina Monologues.

message 10: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Carry a man purse to keep his Twilight books in when he's not reading them.

message 11: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments What's your problem with people eating on the subway?

(you're not allowed to do it here and people are always bitching about it so I'm just curious.)

message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

Remember when I got Alfonso to watch The Virgin Suicides? Hahaha!

Alfonso, I swear I would not notice if a guy was reading Twilight on the bus. And if I did, I wouldn't give a shit. Nobody cares!

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Tambo there is a say among my people it translates to something like “thieves judge over their condition” if I see a dude (and specially a manly looking one like me) I’d laugh…

message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay, but who cares? I just don't really care if someone laughs at me. I laugh at all kinds of people. Especially 'tards*.

*Just kidding, God! You're the one who gave me this sense of humor!

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Cuánto me cuesta sobrevivir
Cuánto sonreír
Sin poder quitarme el antifaz
Que me disfraza de normal

Fuck it I’m too drunk I’ma go to sleep!

message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

Night, Bones.

message 17: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Hymmm you don't have much power over what people think. Most of them probably don't care and are too busy contemplating their own problems. Besides all those people on the train are strangers, you won't see each other ever again, or even if you do, you won't remember the previous meeting. So who cares. As long as you have fun it doesn't matter. Whether you simply enjoy the read, enjoy judging the book, take some twisted masochistic pleasure in it, or simply get an exhibitionist thrill out of reading Twilight in public - that's your business.

message 18: by smetchie (last edited Jun 20, 2009 10:52AM) (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments I agree. Actually, I think you should take it one step further and read it out loud on the train. That would be great.

In all seriousness, I totally get it. I was embarrassed to buy those books and I was embarrassed to read them in public. Same with Eat, Pray, Love. I wanted to tape a big sign to that book that said: "I have to read this for bookclub." I can't stand for people to think I'm a sheep (even when I am).

message 19: by Kasia (new)

Kasia I just realized I don't have this problem anymore. Ha! eReaders have advantages.

message 20: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Ok, another point for the Kindle.

message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

My wife and sister talked me into reading Twilight. Here's my advice on that; whenever anyone catches you, just say you thought it was a Rod Serling biography.

message 22: by [deleted user] (new)


I don't want to ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever read Twilight.

message 23: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu Do it, 'Tambo! You must!

message 24: by [deleted user] (new)


message 25: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments You really should.

message 26: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Don't do it, Tambo. Don't give in to queer peer pressure.

message 27: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Oh, but you've seen the movie, right?

message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

On the plane home from visiting Alfonso!

And I know the entire plot line of all four because three of my students (9 and 10 year old girls) were obsessed and came to the library every recess to talk to me about it.

message 29: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Yeah, so you have it covered, no need to read it if you don't want to.

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