This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
I hate that I have to go and pick up Montambo!
message 51:
by
Malbadeen
(new)
Mar 24, 2009 03:51PM
NICK! "when they get their visa" you're killing me!!!
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The first time I ever had sex, the guy kept his socks on. I have seen and ignored zillions of red flags in my life, but in retrospect that one just might take the cake.
BunWat wrote: "As I have previously mentioned someplace around here I have permanent mental scarring from having to see Donald Sutherland's concave ass wandering around in Animal House in the top no pants attire...."I thought that was super sexy. For real!
Kristina, you can remember the first time you had sex? Lucky!
Amanda wrote: "Kristina, you can remember the first time you had sex? Lucky!"It sounds like somebody has an interesting story to tell… please tell me you about to share it with us!!
I never told you the story? Really?Anyway, it's not a good story. Typical naive American girl crap. (And I was exaggerating when I said I couldn't remember. I remember enough.)
Some dude named Nick Somethingorother (I forget his last name) was a cute cinema student that I took a class with in college. He wore a bike chain around his neck (HOT!) and had moderately long hair. One day, I was out at a bar with some pals, and Nick was there, so we started hanging out. He came over to my house one night and we made out and I touched his penis! Then a few nights later, he and his friends came over to some other friend of mine's house and we all got drunk. So then Nick and I went back to my house. The only things I remember are:
1. He took his bike chain necklace off and I said, "You're taking your necklace off?" And he said, "I won't if you don't want me to." To which I answered with silence (I still do that all the time. Sorry all current and future boyfriends. Um, I'm a bad communicator). I do NOT remember if he put the necklace back on or not.
2. I was tired of waiting for "it" to happen so I got out a condom and gave it to him, but he didn't put it on. He just tossed it on the bed. So then 5 min later I was still tired of waiting so kicked the condom closer to us.
3. He tried out some moves. Circular motions. Whatever.
4. I was eager for it to end.
5. He never spoke to me again.
I have no idea whether either of us was wearing clothes (including socks). I'm pretty sure the lights were on, but I can't be certain. I think it was around Valentine's day, maybe. I have tried, VERY hard, across the years to remember his last name, but I just can't. All I know is that it starts with a Z. I do NOT know who drove us home from my friend's house earlier that night, but it was either him or me. And I was Deee-runk. So was he.
Wait no horrible premature ejaculation issues??? No “wait a second this is not like in the movies” moments? No wtf is he doing moments of uncertainty??? Dude, no wonder you want to forget all about it!!! Fun fact about my love life memory: I can’t remember my first kiss.
I think you need to clarify that this "Nick" was not "The Nick" ans since you can not remember his last name I think there is a good chance you are forgetting his first name as well. Nicks are well known for our superb sexual prowess. Mick,perhaps...
This is my favorite thing anyone has said all week:3. He tried out some moves. Circular motions. Whatever.
Nick, I was pretty sure it wasn't you. It takes a special type of hedero to be gay enough to wear a bike chain around his neck.
I like how Amanda's first time has become a group discussion...
Rusty, my man, you read my mind! I think Amanda should have realized that the dude was gay the second SHE pass HIM a condo and he didn’t take the hint…
Gretchen wrote: "Or maybe it was Dick. "Nop, that’s homo behavior right there (no that there is anything wrong with being gay) but dude if you like dudes don’t go around hurting chicks with your gay sex maneuvers (circular motions ?? Wtf is that!!!?)
Hmmm... I'm pretty sure his name was Nick. The bike chain was the best part!
Alfonso wrote: "Rusty, my man, you read my mind! I think Amanda should have realized that the dude was gay the second SHE pass HIM a condo and he didn’t take the hint… "That was probably ME being lame. We probably weren't more than 2 minutes into making out before I was like, "Let's get this party started!" "NOW"
maybe he was contemplating: internal monologue "This is going to be the only time I make it with a girl... I better try for a baby so I never have to rub my penis on a woman vagina again"
Amanda, ha!! You being lame!!!!! ha! haha!!! You have any idea how many times I’ve been making out and shit wishing that the girl would go full throttle on my like that… I’m telling you that dude was gay!!!
Fooz how crooked was Montambo's arm? Was it crazy mutant like?
Oh, hell, wait, I was wrong. He DID speak to me again. I saw him at a party in 2004. He told me that he's living in an apartment somewhere across town and he has to take the bus and get rides from friends because he got his license revoked for blah, blah, blah (I forget what) and spends his weekends in jail.
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "Fooz how crooked was Montambo's arm? Was it crazy mutant like?"Dude, it was normal… it turns out that I am the freak!! Apparently I’m double joined or something like that… my arms are freak arms!!!!!
So maybe he's just gay on the weekends then.
Why do girls always go for gay losers with bike chain necklaces? I mean necklaces alone should be a disqualifying factor... women are strange.
Nah, he's not gay. He's a man-ho. He thinks he's smooth. Remember when Donna said she wishes she could curse some guys with horrible sex for the rest of their lives because they don't care about the women they're with? Well, this guy was kinda like that, only he cared enough to go slow because he probably heard somewhere that women like foreplay.
That dude was gay!!!! (oh god I just said that out loud) I’m telling Amy he was a homo!!! (again not that there is anything wrong with that)
defensibility not a nick; it is settled
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "Why do girls always go for gay losers with bike chain necklaces? I mean necklaces alone should be a disqualifying factor... women are strange."It was practically still the 90s. He probably had a chain going from his belt loop to his wallet, too.
Women are strange. I've gone for some gay losers myself. It happens.
Alfonso wrote: "That dude was gay!!!! (oh god I just said that out loud) I’m telling Amy he was a homo!!! (again not that there is anything wrong with that)"I've made out with enough gay men to know--NICK Zsomething was not gay. ;)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AMANDA IS A FAG HAG!I mean that in the non-derogatory way...
Well there is your problem Amanda, you keep trying to date gay guys... it is not a choice their born that way! duh.
Amanda wrote: I've made out with enough gay men to ..."Wait, you mean like acting and stuff??? Or you go around kissing gay dudes in bars or something (again not that there is anything wrong with being a gay dude)
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "Well there is your problem Amanda, you keep trying to date gay guys... it is not a choice their born that way! duh."Dude, one of my gay friends from college told me a long time a go that dick is an acquired taste… (no, seriously not that there is anything wrong with that… if you a dude who enjoys the taste of dick on your mouth is your busyness…)
Anything goes in Theatre Department spin-the-bottle.Plus, I did go out on one date with a boy from high school who was gay (though I didn't know it at the time.)
I do NOT keep dating gay guys! I have NEVER dated a gay guy (except that one date in high school!!!)
I was about to show you a picture of one of my first college boyfriends, but now I'm not.
This is the worst thing I've heard all week:dick is an acquired taste
Gretchen wrote: "Alfonso what the fuck?!"Well I was trying to understand how can somebody like dudes when dudes are so ugly… and well he explained it to me =P.
Alfonso wrote: "Dude, one of my gay friends from college tol..."
Somebody needs to tell my friend Dwight this. Because he's the biggest closet case in the universe. Time to come out, buddy!
Amanda wrote: "I do NOT keep dating gay guys! I have NEVER dated a gay guy (except that one date in high school!!!)"and everyone that followed... yer still single, and since you are erupting with drunken kewlness, the only feasible explanation is either you are broken or they are all gay.
I side with they are all gay... they have acquired the taste of dick. :D
Well, shit, Nick. I KNOW they're not gay, so that only leaves me with one option: I'M BROKEN!God damn it all to hell.
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "I side with they are all gay... they have acquired the taste of dick. :D"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAH! You saved it Nick. I was feeling all icky but you made it funny. thanks for that.
Cross post.Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I ever found out that a person I'm dating is gay.
What would you guys do?
Amanda wrote: "Well, shit, Nick. I KNOW they're not gay, so that only leaves me with one option: I'M BROKEN!God damn it all to hell."
Nope... your opinion on this matter is invalid... you are to close to the situation to be objective. Trust in the Nick Amanda, they are all gay.
