Damn you all for talking me into this...

[Reads with Scotch]

I hate that I have reached 240 hours…14,400 minutes… 864,000 seconds without nicotine…. And I hate even more I did it because of a stupid poll on goodreads.

I think I am past the worse of it though. I think I have not quit in all these years because I psyched myself out about how difficult it was going to be. The truth is after the 3rd day, it was a little more then a nuisance.

But not smoking after 10+ years is more disgusting then smoking; I have all kinds of things with the consistency of used motor oil, and the colors ranging from brown green and crusty blood oozing out of this and that. And the lightheadedness is annoying too. And I am eating like a starved pig.

Are you folks sure this is the healthy thing to do?

[Reads with Scotch]

Well This better improve my axe wielding skills Donna, or I'm coming to look for you...

[Reads with Scotch]

I have always been competent with all of my tools, but I seem to recall you claiming to gain miracle like superpowers when you quit...

[Reads with Scotch]

No I think you are attempting to glaze over the finer points in the conversation, I clearly recall you implying superhuman abilities.

[Reads with Scotch]

and the immediate availability of chocolate comfort food.

[Reads with Scotch]

Is inflation going to get that bad {:-/

[Reads with Scotch]

What will I buy with all these saved moneys...

[Reads with Scotch]

[Reads with Scotch]

[image error]

[Reads with Scotch]

huh?

[Amanda]

Oh, Christ on a cracker. An arsenal?






I mean, ROCK ON, S.S.! Don't worry about the phlegmy stuff coming out of your lungs. It'll stop in a few weeks.
Ten Million Dollars...!!!

[[deleted user]]

Now ALL the moderators are quitting smoking, simultaneously!

[Reads with Scotch]

Technically I think I already quit. So you know, I win.

[David]

I quit before you, do I end up with Charlton Heston's gun collection? It's not safe to give to a newly oxygenated organism.

[Reads with Scotch]

it's perfectly safe... just don't make any sudden movements.

[smetchie]

No! Don't resize the photo. It makes me giggle every time I scroll past it.

[smetchie]

Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "I hate that I have reached 240 hours…14,400 minutes… 864,000 seconds without nicotine…. And I hate even more I did it because of a stupid poll on goodreads.

I think I am past the worse of it tho..."

That poll had the opposite effect on me. I went to a bar and smoked 2 marlboro reds.

[Rusty]

Gretchen, why do you have to mention my Achilles' heel? No, not mom's fresh-baked cinnamon rolls, or Monica Bellucci, the uh.....oh yeah, the Marlboro Reds.

[Reads with Scotch]

Feh! On MArlboro's I'm a was a Camel wide guy...

[smetchie]

sounds just as great to me. I'm not picky anymore.

[smetchie]

ummm Nick? you got a patch on? or some gum or something?

[[deleted user]]

What about Capri Ultra Slim Menthols?

No?

Yeah. That's what everyone says.

[smetchie]

I'd smoke it.

[Reads with Scotch]

Nope, no patch, no gum, no lozenges. I decided on the drop to quit. I gave my two cartons of smokes away (well ok I sold them at a fire sale price to a friend) and just sat in my office shaking for a couple of days.

[Tom]

Nick likes to suck on camels?

[Rusty]

Dude, you don't wanna know what he does to llamas.

[smetchie]

WOW! You instructed a teen to off herself WITH nicotine in your blood stream!

::rubs hands together gleefully::

I can't wait to see what's going to happen now!

[Reads with Scotch]

Hey, llamas are pretty friendly if you pet them right.

[Rusty]

That's what I'm saying. Alpacas though, you have to really sweet-talk those sons-of-bitches.

[Reads with Scotch]

Angora bunnies are my favorite.

Their.just.so.soft.

:::shudders::

[Rusty]

Okay we might have exhausted the whole beastiality thing. What was this thread about again?

[Reads with Scotch]

I suspect that my evil hateful going on's will increase exponentially, Gretchen.

[Kasia]

Right, how's it going so far Nick? Your evil hatefulness still under control?

While struggling with temptation, starting a smoking themed thread seems like a bad idea. It's like with sweets: talking about chocolate cake with whip cream topping and a strawberry, vanilla bean ice cream on the side always makes me crave it. I imagine commemorating Marlboro's is a bitch.

[Reads with Scotch]

I happen to have a spine and I use it, I decided I wasn't going to smoke any more and I am not. I am a lot of things but what I am most is stubborn. I don't need gum, or little sucky candy thingys, or patches or even smokes, I'm said I am done and I'm done.

I think If I was going to break it would have happened by now, 10 day... then there was that one day where i was board beyond belief... nope didn't smoke then either.

[Donitello]

I've never understood people like you. I could make a big bowl of popcorn and just sit there watching.

[Kasia]

Doni wrote: "I've never understood people like you. I could make a big bowl of popcorn and just sit there watching."

envy, envy, envy... I wish I were like that, live would be so much easier.

[Reads with Scotch]

I'm sure some would consider stubbornness a vice or fault, but I find it rather useful.

And in this particular case; beneficial to my own health so...

[Reads with Scotch]

have you tried using duct tape and screws? maybe a little angle iron.

[Reads with Scotch]

Is the blade secured with a rivet or a bolt?

[Reads with Scotch]

Ok, I'm sure you have a drill. Using the smallest bit possible drill out the rivet; just the shaft of the rivet, no need to drill out the head it will fall off when the shaft is separated. pull out the broken handle. If the handle is "stuck" or too sharp and splintered to handle safely just make a clean cut at the edge of the shovel head and put a screw in the head (about half way) Grip the embedded screw with pliers or channel locks and pound on the foot flange with a hammer BAM! all ready for your new handle, a simple screw in the rivet hole will secure it in place.

[Reads with Scotch]

goggles are for work environments... real handy folks don't use that crap... well not unless "loved" ones are hovering over your shoulder demanding you "be careful" and "watch your thumb" and "STOP! the blade was like 6 inches from your finger..."

I hate when my wife watches me work on things.

see how I brought that back full circle :D

Hate is great!~

[Reads with Scotch]

True enough, Jill.

It is such a shame when folks feel pressured into wearing or not wearing Safety equipment. This is strange because the true proper nomenclature *(PPE) means just that; it's personal.

In other news stories; hate is great and everyone is joining in! tune in at the bottom of the hour for the full story.

*( P.P.E.= personal protective equipment)

[Reads with Scotch]

New study suggest hate burns 1,200 calories a day!

20 minute of hate a day, keeps the doctor away; that's what I always say.

[Reads with Scotch]

Hate-lite parenting has been linked to out of control teens.



Edit:I tried to do the little (tm) for trade mark but I couldn't muster it up... I hate HTML code. {:-/ It hampers my funny factor.

[Kasia]

for future reference, this works:

registered mark ®
& followed by reg;

trade mark ™
& followed by trade; (don't forget the semicolon)

[Donitello]

Why do you need a motorcycle helmet to repair a shovel?

[Rusty]

So the neighbors can't read your mind, of course.

[Reads with Scotch]

Well I did suggest she use a hammer on it...

[smetchie]

Fuckwit®


sweet Kasia! Thanks for that!
(she really IS a know-it-all, huh?)

:)

[Reads with Scotch]

yeah too bad she's a nazi. One more round of Nuremberg trials coming up...