Uncle Bob Quotes

“Where have you been?"

I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“I started to put my phone back in my bag when Ozzy yelled out, his accent so thick, I was only half certain he said, "Where the foock are ya goin'?"

Uncle Bob jumped. I must've turned on my GPS.

"You have to tahn the foock around. You're in the middle of foockin' nowhere."

"What the hell is that?" Uncle Bob asked, almost swerving off the road.

"Sorry, it's Ozzy." I grabbed my phone and turned down the volume. "He's so demanding." I pushed a few buttons to turn off the app, then put the phone to my ear. "Sweet, buttermilk pancakes, Ozzy, you have to stop calling me. You're a married man!" I pretended to hang up, then rolled my eyes. "Rock stars.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?”
“Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”
“Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.”
“Charley.”
“Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“And you went out,” he said, his tone pleased.
I said through the bubbles of toothpaste, “Had to. I got a case.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
After rinsing, I headed back that way, still looking over the file. “That’s a negatory. But I’d like to keep that option open. You know, if I get in trouble.”
“So, you’ll be telling me all about it by tomorrow afternoon. Have you talked to your dad?”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“Uncle Bob answered, his tone brusque. “What have you got?”
“Besides great boobs?” I asked.
“On the case.”
He was so testy.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left