Rotfl Quotes

“(Sakaki and Osaka lying on towels at the beach)

...

Osaka: You know them Hemmorrhoids...

Sakaki: ...Eh? =-O

Osaka: Some folks call 'em "Hemorrhoids", but others call 'em "Roids".

Why does the one not have an "H" in it? Which one's right?

Sakaki: ......

Osaka: Would it be under "H" or "R" in the dictionary?

Sakaki: ...I don't know. =/”
― Kiyohiko Azuma, Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus

“Osaka: Ah always wanted to go to the ocean and rifd a dolphin.

Sakaki: ...That would be nice.

Osaka: Ah know, right?

(Osaka and Sakaki stare at the ocean lost in thought; Sakaki imagining riding a dolphin).

Yomi: Look at you two space cadets. What's going on?

Osaka: We was thinkin' 'bout 'Roids.

Sakaki: Eh... No... =,o”
― Kiyohiko Azuma, Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus

“Osaka: Ah got a question sensei...

Ms Yukari Tanizaki: Wh-what?

Osaka: It true they wear shoes in the house in America?

Tanikaze: That's what I hear.

Osaka: But then...

...wh-what if you stepped in dog poo outside... ... And you never noticed? And then...

Tanikazi: ='\”
― Kiyohiko Azuma, Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus

“Tomo: You see, it's only the boobcage that I'm lacking. My only flaw. That's why I harp on you.

Kagura: Huh? Lacking to be what?

Tomo: To be my ideal woman.

Kagura: Ideal? Who's your ideal woman?,

Tomo: ... Fujiko Mine from "Lupin III".

Kagura: WHAT!?”
― Kiyohiko Azuma, Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus

“Lucas’ armpits. Cory’s nasty ass farts. Dog shit. Cat piss. Car crashes.”
― Rory Miles, Knot for Me

“Baby deer left without their moms. Orphans. Abandoned kittens.”
― Rory Miles, Knot for Me