Cimil Quotes

“Come, my handsome vampire. I have a few things I must do to prepare you. Then I’ll put you somewhere safe to await your bride. Oh—I know!” She clapped excitedly. “You can stay inside my piggy bank! And I’ll create a drama-tastic jungle intro to your lady! How about Romancing the Stone meets Apocalypto?”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“So. You in?” Niccolo looked from side to side. “In? In what?” “Yes. In. Are you onboard? Ready to throw down. Roll the dice. Ride that crazy cow called life and make her your bitch?” Niccolo frowned. Her colloquialisms were simply offensive. And this coming from a ruthless vampire. “You are asking if I am committed. Sì?” “Siii.” She rolled her eyes.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Hey, I’ve been alive for a very, very long time. Boring,” she sang out. “Gotta do something for kicks, and a good apocalypse every now and then fills the cracks. It’s like the Super Bowl for us gods…but without the beer and everyone could die. Fun, right?”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Cimil watched Helena disappear into the pawnshop. “Ha! Did I tell you this was gonna be drama-tastic, or what?” she said toward the roof of the car. “Just wait ‘til you see what I have coming next! That vampire’s gonna be so jealous, his head’s going to spin like a Beyblade.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“You want to leave the queen’s employ?” He nodded with an uncompromising stare. “Complicated. Unprecedented. Perfectly insane…I’m in!”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“She spun to face him. “Listen, Hellboy, we need to make this quick. I have garage sales to hit and naughty souls to claim. Decide.” “I do not understand.” Was this goddess tormenting him for sport? Why did she call him “Hellboy?” How very rude! She poked at his bare chest with a razor sharp fingernail. “You hate taking orders.” Sì, true. After all, I am vampire. “And even if you decided to listen like a good little boy, the odds of pulling this off are slim to none.” I happen to excel at all things impossible. I am a vampire! “So don’t come crying if you end up in your queen’s dungeon…” Vampires do not cry, silly woman. “Tortured three times a day for all eternity, which is where you have a ninety-nine point nine, nine, nine percent chance of landing if you don’t do exactly as I say.” Actually, those numbers are quite encouraging. He thought his odds were somewhere between pigs flying and hell freezing over. “Buon. I understand. Tell me what you saw, what I must do.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Am I really going to die?” Cimil’s face lit up with shock. “Jeez. What kind of goddess do you think I am? We just met, and I only kill people I know.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“He’s such a workaholic. Never stops to reflect, smell the roses. It’s just kill, kill, protect, protect with that man.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Cimil’s eyes lit. “The Niccolo DiConti? What an honor!” Niccolo stood a little taller then. “Yes, I seek your assistance.” Cimil rolled her eyes. “Well, no duh. You didn’t abandon your queen’s side, risking her wrath, to see me in my fabulous birthday suit.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“There is only one way to be relieved from her service: death. I would like to avoid it.” “I see. You wouldn’t happen to have some wildly irrational reason for doing all this, would you? I love acts of futile insolence. They’re so whimsical!” Trying not to sound like a pansy, he admitted, “I no longer wish to kill for her.” “A vampire who doesn’t want to…kill? You don’t want to—” Cimil broke off, laughing hysterically. “That totally qualifies!”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“I can’t remember how long it’s been since we’ve seen such a fab show! This was drama-tastic! Better than Romeo and Juliet. Better than The Sound of Music, South Park, Trueblood, Dexter, My Little Pony, and Shrek put together!”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Do you think he’ll ever forgive you for turning him into a Demilord before you put him to sleep in your piggy bank?” She shrugged. “Oooh. I hope not. I love conflict—World War Numero Dos…fucking awesome! Can’t wait for number three!”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?

“Niccolo released a quick breath. “Will you assist me or not?” he said. “Sure, my little cupcake of despair. Now, normally I charge $12.99 plus shipping and handling, but in this case I’ll cut you a deal.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?