A. > A.'s Quotes

“If a person who has trouble believing sex could be unenjoyable can imagine a person they are not attracted to at all, and then try to imagine whether they could enjoy sex with that person, they might have some understanding of how an asexual person might be feeling about sex. Many asexual people feel that way about all potential partners. Just like most straight guys can’t imagine liking sex with another man, many asexual people would not enjoy the act—not because they’re doing it wrong, but because people just aren’t sexually attractive to them.”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“if sex could exist without love, it surely stood to reason that love could exist without sex.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Sex isn't everything. I love you because you're beautiful and caring and an incredibly strong person to go through so much and to come out of it still so generous and loving. I'm not losing that, not for anything.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Oh for heaven's sake," Carol cut in, putting a plate on the table for Aiden. starting to collect everyone else's and dump them in the sink. "He's asexual, that's all. Let's just have it out there and deal with it."
"He's what" Jame's mind immediately went to protozoa. He had top assume that they were not saying that Aiden reproduced by splitting into two identical copies. "What does that mean?"
"She's saying that Aiden loves you, but he doesn't want to have sex with out, And not because he is broken, but because he's part of a set of people who just don't do sex.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Desire wasn’t something I could study and learn to feel.”
― A.M. Strickland, Beyond the Black Door

“James tried to imaging a future in which he did not make love to Aiden, but in which they nonetheless shared the same house and slumbered innocently in the same bed and woke up every morning with that same bone-deep contentment he had felt this morning. Then he imagined a future that had no Aiden in it at all. It was no choice. No contest.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“But she herself had never felt that way about anyone, not as a teenager, not in art school, not since. It occurred to her that except for her brother, when they were children, she’d never seen
a man naked. More than that: she’d never touched anyone and felt that warmth, that electric tension at the nearness of someone else. The only thing that had given her that feeling had
been art—and then, of course, Pearl.”
― Celeste Ng, Little Fires Everywhere

“By then Ramola had begun to see herself as asexual but would not admit this to her mum. She said she was impressed by Mum's vocabulary choice, and added she enjoyed the idea of sex like she enjoyed the idea of riding a bike, but both involved too much prep work, or leg work, as it were, and she was alright forgoing both for the forseeable.”
― Paul Tremblay, Survivor Song

“Do you like fishing?"
James didn't know what to make of the non sequiter. "Not really."
"But if I wanted to go you'd go with me, you'd still come, wouldn't you? It's like that."
James didn't see how sex could possibly be like that, but Aiden knew his own mind best.
...
"I'm honoured you would do that for me. What can I do to make it up to you?"
"Make me a coffee in the morning?"
"That's all?"
Aiden shook his head, as if exasperated that they were coming up against a translation problem. "A coffee in bed first thing in the morning would really improve my day," he explained slightly sharp. "Sex isn't more important than that. You;d have to get up before me and go downstairs in the cold and boil the kettle while you were still bleary and zombified. If you did that for m, of course I would know that you loved me. It would be just the same.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“He’d thought he had to give Aidan up so that Aidan could find someone he genuinely desired, but if Aidan wasn’t capable of desire, then that changed everything.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“I liked the look of both. Both had the potential to make me want to draw nearer. But when I did … there was nothing. I had a complete lack of that desire to get even closer—and less clothed—which everyone around me seemed to have.”
― A.M. Strickland, Beyond the Black Door

“He had never experienced a kiss like that before...
Now it read differently. What if Aiden hadn't been shy at all, but reluctant. The little stroke down his back, which he had taken for encouragement-could it have been something else? An attempt to calm him down, maybe?
Aiden hadn't pulled back unitl James had touched his throat... but even so...Aiden would only have had to say something and James would have stopped.
Did he know that though? Did he, after his experiences with Piers, have any reason to believe that? Was he in fact just bracing himself for something he believed was inevitable? (Yes)”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Still, the thought of having someone to spend time with, to talk to, maybe to hold while she slept? It sounded romantic. Perfect. Why was it so difficult for others to contemplate a relationship built on mutual affection, on romantic gestures that didn’t extend into the bedroom? Abby wanted roses and inside jokes, something easy and natural. Sex was a complication she didn’t have any interest in.”
― Elyse Springer, Thaw

“Demisexual?” Her face, that beautiful face, remains unchanged. Doesn’t shift to
incredulity or boredom. Just understanding. Beautiful understanding and acceptance. “I
know. I won’t press you into anything you don’t want. I love you, Lili. All of you and all
of how you think and live and breathe. Demisexual just means loving differently, and
there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your everything I love. Not bits and pieces.”

“My everything?”

She nuzzles her forehead beneath my chin. “Yes, your everything. Silly siren.”
― Sophie Whit, Catch Lili Too

“What would [James} do now? Would he think to Aiden was too much trouble for too little reward? Would the sex matter to him so much that he would discout everything else in favour of it? Aiden didn't want to think so, hoped that James would see that love was so much more than that. What was so great about sharing fluids that looked like snot anyway? What did love have to do with that? But he know by now that ninety-nine percent of the population would call that opinion world. The mathematics of the situation were not in his favour.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Aiden felt so safe he didn't even go to his room to weel, just covered hos eyes and let the fire's warmth and the warmth of tears mingle on his fingers.
Molly had clarified Carol's statement for him, explained that "ace" in his case probably meant "homo-romantic asexual.”
― Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

“Finally, he raised his hand and touched his fingers to his forehead. "I can give you this." He lowered his hand and pressed the tops of his fingers to the center of his chest. "And I can give you this. But not the rest. It's not who I am. Or what I am.”
― Ada Maria Soto, His Quiet Agent

“But you know! You get it. I'm not trying to trivialize anyone else and what they have to do, but if I go to my parents and say I'm a lesbian, they would know what I meant. If I went to my siblings and said I'm bisexual, they would know what I meant. If I tell anyone I'm asexual, they're going to look at me like there's something wrong. They're going to tell me to go to a doctor. They're going to tell me I'm too young to know what I want or I'm still developing. Or they'll tell me how important sex is to finding a good man. Or they'll think they can fix me, that I'm lying because I don't want to sleep with them. It's hard enough trying to explain that word, so how in the hell am I going to explain I'm biromantic asexual? They're really going to think I'm making this shit up.”
― Claire Kann, Let's Talk About Love

“How can you know that if you've never had anyone?"

"How do you know you want to?" I reply. "I've never drunk octopus ink, but I don't feel the need to. Or like I'm missing anything in not having tasted it.”
― Mackenzi Lee, The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy

“Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin, to know that his presence was absolute and focused entirely on her. The trouble was, it never seemed to end there, and that was as far as she was willing to go.”
― Seanan McGuire, Every Heart a Doorway

“Now, listen. I would. Rather. Hug you. Than be with. Anyone else. Just. Hug you. Do you. Want to. Hug me. Back.”
― Kathryn Ormsbee, Tash Hearts Tolstoy

“the man i went on a date with did more than try to "cure me" of my asexuality
it's funny because i never thought someone's penis would be considered an antidote of any kind
and i don't think that's what my doctor meant when he told me i needed more Vitamin D in my diet
but apparently my sexuality was enough of a diagnosis for him to decide to play doctor with me
maybe he should’ve put his stethoscope up to my mouth instead of between my breasts
maybe then he would’ve heard me when i told him to stop it”
― Courtney Carola, Have Some Pride: A Collection of LGBTQ+ Inspired Poetry

“Maybe I wouldn’t ever be obligated to have sex with another person in order to make them stay with me. The thought was freeing: I wouldn’t have to pretend. It was just a matter of finding someone else who understood.”
― Calista Lynne, We Awaken

“I do not want to know things, I want to understand things. I want to answer every question ever posed me. I want to leave no room for anyone to doubt me.”
― Mackenzi Lee, The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy

“i can love
as Aristotle
who coined the term “philía”
loved his brothers
it isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp
but because i am not grasping someone else
you think there is something wrong with me
but i am fine”
― Courtney Carola, Have Some Pride: A Collection of LGBTQ+ Inspired Poetry

“Not a robot, not a freak, not confused. Just a girl.”
― Kathryn Ormsbee

“This was always the difficult part, back when she'd been at her old school: explaining that "asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. She liked holding hands and trading kisses. She'd had several boyfriends in elementary school, just like most of the other girls, and she had always found those practice relationships completely satisfying. It wasn't until puberty had come along and changed the rules that she'd started pulling away in confusion and disinterest.”
― Seanan McGuire, Every Heart a Doorway

“I'm not maternal but that doesn't mean I don't love. I love Aster. I love all the girls and women I look after. It is hard to be in somebody's presence for so long and not develop something like love. I don't have romantic feelings. I never fell in love with a person the way princesses fall in love with princes. I never wanted to be with nobody in bed. Aster, though, my love for her is—it's malignant. And if I try to chop it off, all the bits of love will spread everywhere else and infect me worse.”
― Rivers Solomon, An Unkindness of Ghosts

“It took me a long while to figure it out, why I didn’t feel the way everyone else seemed to feel about sex. It doesn’t do a whole lot for me, to be honest. I thought maybe it was women, so I switched to men, but it wasn’t all that much better. It’s… it was mechanical , almost. I was going through the motions but it wasn’t really doing anything for me. I could get off but I didn’t care about it. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me until I figured it out and then it was like a big, fat asexual ray of sunshine fell over me and it was glorious . But it felt better when I figured out that I wasn’t weird and that it was okay to not want sex like everyone else. But I like touching and I like kissing most of the time and I can be there for a partner should the situation… arise. Sometimes, I’ll even jerk off, and I’m told I give really awesome hugs.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Her whole face changes when she smiles-this eyebrow-lifting, perfect-teeth-showing, eye-crinkling smile I've either never seen or never noticed. She becomes pretty so suddenly that it's almost like a magic trick - but it's not like I want her or anything. Not to sound like a jerk, but Jane isn't really my type. Her hair is kind of disastrously curly and she mostly hangs out with guys. My type's of little girlier. And honestly, I don't even like my type of girl that much, let alone other types. Not that I'm asexual - I just find Romance Drama unbearable.”
― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson