Quotes - Jeff (Jacksonville, NC) Showing 1-30 of 258

#1

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”
― Douglas Adams

tags: humor

931 likes

#2

“Ender nodded. It was a lie, of course, that it wouldn’t hurt a bit. But since adults always said it when it was going to hurt, he could count on that statement as an accurate prediction of the future. Sometimes lies were more dependable than the truth.”
― Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game

tags: lies

82 likes

#3

“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

tags: life, love

13996 likes

#4

“She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

460 likes

#5

“I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without expectations of rewards or punishments after I am dead.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: atheism, expectation, humanism, humanist, morality, reward, secular-morality

611 likes

#6

“If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

tags: humor, love

2282 likes

#7

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32153 likes

#8

“What I need... is a strong drink and a peer group.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

263 likes

#9

“when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

tags: humor

1349 likes

#10

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: friends

1679 likes

#11

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
― Woody Allen

tags: humor, life, sex

6556 likes

#12

“To me, making a tape is like writing a letter – there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again, and I wanted it to be a good one.”
― Nick Hornby

tags: music

28 likes

#13

“First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire.-Roland Deschain, of Gilead”
― Stephen King, The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower, #1) separate

267 likes

#14

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

tags: love

36860 likes

#15

“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

tags: christianity

1002 likes

#16

“My faith is whatever makes me feel good about being alive. If your religion doesn't make you feel good to be alive, what the hell is the point of it?”
― Tom Robbins, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates

284 likes

#17

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28810 likes

#18

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10166 likes

#19

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humour, telekinetics

10121 likes

#20

“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor, politics

2167 likes

#21

“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano

7564 likes

#22

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., A Man Without a Country

3174 likes

#23

“Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: disillusionment, growing-up, humor

897 likes

#24

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor

1407 likes

#25

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: frustration, humor, laughter

2182 likes

#26

“The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: adolf-hitler, electoral-politics, george-w-bush, humor, politics

1080 likes

#27

“How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

tags: catatonia, coma, life

3337 likes

#28

“We could have saved [the Earth] but we were too damned cheap.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: pessimistic

316 likes

#29

“Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle

tags: life, nature, philosophy

2772 likes

#30

“Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go around looking for it, and I think it can be poisonous. I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, 'Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency'.”
― Kurt Vonnegut , Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!

tags: decency, humor, love, respect

712 likes

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