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  • #1
    Daniel Handler
    “Ed, it was everything, those nights on the phone, everything we said until late became later and then later and very late and finally to go to bed with my ear warm and worn and red from holding the phone close close close so as not to miss a word of what it was, because who cared how tired I was in the humdrum slave drive of our days without each other. I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did. But that’s why right there it was doomed. We couldn’t only have the magic nights buzzing through the wires. We had to have the days, too, the bright impatient days spoiling everything with their unavoidable schedules, their mandatory times that don’t overlap, their loyal friends who don’t get along, the unforgiven travesties torn from the wall no matter what promises are uttered past midnight, and that's why we broke up.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #2
    Daniel Handler
    “I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. And the truth is that I goddamn loved you so much.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #3
    Daniel Handler
    “I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #4
    Daniel Handler
    “And the truth is that I'm not, Ed, is what I wanted to tell you. I'm not arty like everyone says who doesn't know me, I don't paint, I can't draw, I play no instrument, I can't sing. I'm not in plays, I wanted to say, I don't write poems. I can't dance except tipsy at dances. I'm not athletic, I'm not a goth or a cheerleader, I'm not treasurer or co-captain. I'm not gay and out and proud, I'm not that kid from Sri Lanka, not a triplet, a prep, a drunk, a genius, a hippie, a Christian, a slut, not even one of those super-Jewish girls with a yarmulke gang wishing everyone a happy Sukkoth. I'm not anything, this is what I realized ... I like movies, everyone knows I do -- I love them -- but I will never be in charge of one because my ideas are stupid and wrong in my head. There's nothing different about that, nothing fascinating, interesting, worth looking at.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #5
    Daniel Handler
    “And this note was a jittery time bomb, ticking beneath my normal life, in my pocket all day firecely reread, in my purse all week until I was afraid it would get crushed or snooped, in my drawer between two dull books to escape my mother and then in the box and now thunked back to you. A note, who writes a note like that? Who were you to write one to me? It boomed inside me the whole time, an explosion over and over, the joy of what you wrote to me jumpy shrapnel in my bloodstream. I can't have it near me anymore, I'm grenading it back to you, as soon as I unfold it and read it and cry one more time. Because me too, and fuck you. Even now.


    I can’t stop thinking about you.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #6
    Daniel Handler
    “Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #7
    Daniel Handler
    “Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.”
    Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

  • #8
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #9
    Lemony Snicket
    “Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #10
    Lemony Snicket
    “Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #12
    Lemony Snicket
    “It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #13
    Lemony Snicket
    “I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

  • #14
    Lemony Snicket
    “If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #15
    Lemony Snicket
    “A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #16
    Lemony Snicket
    “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

  • #17
    Lemony Snicket
    “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #18
    Lemony Snicket
    “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #19
    Lemony Snicket
    “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

  • #20
    Lemony Snicket
    “It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

  • #21
    Lemony Snicket
    “...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

  • #22
    Lemony Snicket
    “It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #23
    Lemony Snicket
    “The sad truth is the truth is sad.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

  • #24
    Lemony Snicket
    “It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #25
    Lemony Snicket
    “I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

  • #26
    Lemony Snicket
    “There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #27
    Lemony Snicket
    “At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #28
    Lemony Snicket
    “The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #29
    Lemony Snicket
    “Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #30
    Lemony Snicket
    “A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

  • #31
    Lemony Snicket
    “It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”
    Lemony Snicket



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