Johnk > Johnk's Quotes

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  • #1
    Nelson Mandela
    “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
    Nelson Mandela

  • #2
    André Gide
    “Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.”
    Andre Gide

  • #3
    Helen Keller
    “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
    Helen Keller

  • #4
    Dan    Brown
    “Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”
    Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

  • #5
    Mahatma Gandhi
    “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
    Mahatma Gandhi

  • #6
    Judy Garland
    “Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”
    Judy Garland

  • #7
    Mark Twain
    “The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
    Mark Twain

  • #8
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • #9
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    Mark Twain

  • #10
    Lemony Snicket
    “If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #11
    Steven Wright
    “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
    Steven Wright

  • #12
    Steven Wright
    “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
    Steven Wright

  • #13
    Steven Wright
    “If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”
    steven wright

  • #14
    Steven Wright
    “I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
    Steven Wright

  • #16
    Steven Wright
    “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
    Steven Wright

  • #18
    Steven Wright
    “There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
    Steven Wright

  • #20
    Steven Wright
    “If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?”
    Steven Wright

  • #21
    Steven Wright
    “When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
    Steven Wright

  • #22
    Steven Wright
    “The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
    Steven Wright

  • #23
    Steven Wright
    “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
    Steven Wright

  • #24
    Steven Wright
    “I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
    Steven Wright

  • #25
    Steven Wright
    “When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.”
    Steven Wright

  • #26
    Steven Wright
    “If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
    Steven Wright

  • #27
    Steven Wright
    “It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”
    Steven Wright

  • #28
    Steven Wright
    “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”
    Steven Wright

  • #29
    Steven Wright
    “If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
    Steven Wright

  • #30
    Steven Wright
    “I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”
    Steven Wright

  • #31
    Steven Wright
    “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
    Steven Wright

  • #32
    Steven Wright
    “I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
    Steven Wright

  • #33
    Steven Wright
    “The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?”
    Steven Wright



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