Quotes - Johnk (Plano, TX) Showing 1-30 of 96

#1

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
― Nelson Mandela

tags: change, education

6287 likes

#2

“Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.”
― Andre Gide

tags: truth

1160 likes

#3

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller

22827 likes

#4

“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”
― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

tags: desire, fear, human-nature

2708 likes

#5

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

tags: carpe-diem, education, inspirational, learning

77822 likes

#6

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”
― Judy Garland

tags: be-yourself, greatness, individuality

2508 likes

#7

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
― Mark Twain

tags: starting, working

2234 likes

#8

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

tags: happiness

33004 likes

#9

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34480 likes

#10

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

tags: humor, talking, writers

4820 likes

#11

“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
― Steven Wright

tags: first, funny, skydiving

900 likes

#12

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4691 likes

#13

“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”
― steven wright

tags: humor

331 likes

#14

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

tags: books, humor

859 likes

#16

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor, perspective, walking

479 likes

#18

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
― Steven Wright

tags: fishing, humor

262 likes

#20

“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?”
― Steven Wright

231 likes

#21

“When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
― Steven Wright

tags: absurd, humor

276 likes

#22

“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
― Steven Wright

269 likes

#23

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor

197 likes

#24

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor-reading-poem

187 likes

#25

“When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.”
― Steven Wright

218 likes

#26

“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
― Steven Wright

207 likes

#27

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor, love

161 likes

#28

“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor-mondays

185 likes

#29

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
― Steven Wright

tags: failure, humor, success

396 likes

#30

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”
― Steven Wright

tags: breakfast, humor, nonsense

246 likes

#31

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor

124 likes

#32

“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor, irony, nobel-peace-prize

224 likes

#33

“The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?”
― Steven Wright

160 likes

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